My GDs are 3 and 6. The oldest spent a lot of time with the other grandma during COVID as the daycare wasn’t open. They are very close. The youngest has decided I am her grandma. We live 160 miles away, so don’t see each other that often. At Christmas, I heard her say from another room “where’s my Grandma?” My DiL asked her what she needed, and she just said I need to talk to her. Then the oldest said she’s my Grandma, too. The youngest was a little puzzled, and said, no, she’s just mine.
But, she really is my buddy and likes to know where I am.
A friend has an only child, a daughter, who had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma as a college junior. She had to have treatment right away and no time to consider or actually harvest eggs. The gal did not expect to be able to become pg, but now years later (she is I believe just slightly over 30) she is having a baby with her partner. New-to-be grandma has now retired (her husband has been retired for a couple of years already). They are excited. The daughter indicated how much she wanted her mom to be there, especially the first weeks after the baby is born (expecting a girl). Her partner has a 5-year-old son that he is co-parenting.
What a range of emotions, from almost losing one’s only child to cancer, and now within about a dozen years this daughter being able to have a baby.
On Friday I went over for dinner and post-dinner did GS’s bath. After bath, he looked at me and said “bye-bye.” He then took me downstairs pointed to the door and said “bye-bye” again. He was ready to go to bed
DS16 and GS came over yesterday for a couple of hours because their apartment was smoky from the self-cleaning oven. It was very nice. GS (7 mo) was just happily sitting/waiting for good things to come to him, was my impression. Much more “chill” than my kids ever were. The only time he was agitated was when he wanted a drink of DS’s water.
GD1 is four and has been going to a preschool. Yesterday her parents played with her for hours and were tired. They told her to do a puzzle by herself. They said they could be in the same room and do separate things.
GD1 told them that she learned in school we can’t keep people separate if they are white and black and that’s why they can’t do separate things and must play with her.
Really applying that black history month lesson plan to her daily life.
One grandkid turns 4 today. Spoke to older s (his dad) to see when we could call to wish him a happy birthday. It came up in conversation that they want us again to fly out there to watch their kids for four days so they can go away for their anniversary. Unfortunately, the timing isn’t so great, it conflicts with some things DH has and it would mean I’d probably skip my college reunion (it’s a big one) a few days later in another state. So we suggested they bring the kids here -we will watch them here and they can go vacation somewhere For a few days. They prefer to attend some festival in Southern California, but they may just have to be flexible because I think otherwise the answer is going to be no which is the first for us.
And you should not feel bad about that! Sounds like you and your H go above and beyond with your time and $ to be that cross country “babysitter” - but it’s not your responsibility at all costs (and to the detriment of your own events!)
I have a 7" metal and lined lidded tumbler with metal straw, and I allow all my grandkids to get a sip of Nana’s water when they are thirsty - they always ask first, so I make sure they drink it w/o spills and make sure there is enough ice/water in it. This is fine with their mom and dad. I know some on this thread would think ‘gross’ but I have not found that the kids or I get ill by doing this. Over this past Christmas, even the 1 1/2-year-old could drink Nana’s water through the straw with help (she has a bottle available with water for her, but it was not quite where she was, and she wanted a drink like her siblings). This has gone on since I was ‘live-in nanny’ for 6 weeks when daycare was closed for the older two when they were not quite 3 and not quite 2 years of age (I lived 100 miles away and would arrive Sunday afternoon and stay until DD arrived home Friday afternoon). Interesting, in their new city, San Antonio TX, the daycare where the younger two kids are at stayed open continually through all of that Covid period. Both these daycares are well-operated, and the kids are well-cared for, but it shows the difference in states (Alabama VS Texas).
Just a little thing, but Nana will take care of all their true needs when Nana is around. If they are hungry between meals, I take care of it (and if mom is home, I ask her if it is OK for them to have a particular snack - and sometimes she says yes or suggests something else). If their dad is home (and not mom) I will ask him if it is OK as well. Mom does meal planning and prep unless it is when she is not home, and I find out what she wants me to do for meals.
Between toys, puzzles, games, drawing on own or coloring books/educational color books, reading - try to do a lot indoors (and if it is nice enough they can play in the fenced back yard). Very little screen time, but sometimes as a ‘treat’ short TV programs that they like, or Friday or Saturday evening a movie. The kids like watching football college/pro because their parents like it - and only certain games/teams. I like to do one-on-one attention or sometimes do attention with two together when it comes to reading/learning activities. The oldest GD1 (now in first grade) does a lot independently. Enhancing more with GS1 (now in kindergarten) and GS2 (will be 4K in the fall). I will be with them again for 3 - 4+ weeks, before the older two spring break, and beyond when baby #5 arrives - due date is March 25 but anticipate a week early based on baby #4. When grandpa is at their house with me, he will take the older two down a few blocks to the neighborhood playground. Soon GS2 will be able to join them in these outings (in the past they have gone when GS2 was napping or unavailable).
I anticipate in 2026 the other grandparents will move to the city their other son/family live and will be 6 hours’ drive from where DD1/SIL/Gkids are. They will be moving into Assisted Living apartment community. Other son has two GDs but owns a home and ‘roots’ in this lower cost city. Both sons have traveled to assist with the parents clearing out storage and home to prepare for this move. I just am pretty certain that they will delay it another year. When they were last at the son’s place, they didn’t ‘have time’ to see the Assisted Living community - they want to make a trip in 2025 but IDK if and when they will arrange that. The dad has progressive Parkinson’s. The last trip our daughter/family had to give a lot of help (at the major airport, with the rent car, lining up the hotels - then split up so that son was driving the rent car with one parent and DD was driving the family vehicle with her H’s other parent). The dad needed a wheel chair. This grandma is as committed to the grandkids as I am, but between her H’s and her own health issues, cannot be as active or involved - this was ‘put to the test’ when I thought surely, they would travel to take some of the Covid care time with the family years ago - but Covid terrified the other grandma. So SIL has found we are the ones that can be depended on.
You know, I have three sons. Sure, there was tiny ping of “oh well” (because the third one was not planned!) but it was the way it was meant to be. I couldn’t love them more. I have amazing DIL’s whom I love dearly and they love me and I have 3 granddaughters (1 grandson) so I’m fixed for girls, LOL.
My father was one of three boys. The first three grandkids were boys. When my older girl cousin was born, my great-grandfather apparently was on cloud nine. His office-mates decked out his desk in pink ribbons. (The next two grandkids were my sister and me, and then there were three more boys.)
I mentioned upthread that D and SIL have a daughter and are expecting a son. D says she is still processing because she isn’t sure how to raise a boy. I told her that 3 years ago during her first pregnancy she hadn’t raised a girl! I also told her she would figure it out.
