My kids were never interested in pacifiers. D sucked 2 fingers. S never did. D was a much calmer baby and now a calmer adult. Haha! It’s hard to understand why choices are made when they are, but I hope the child(ren) adjust well to the changes. My kids loved flannel receiving blankets and kept them for many years after they got older. They were very calming for them and they didn’t care what the pattern/design on the blankets were, as long as they were cotton flannel.
The pacifier was used some with grandchild #1, grandchild #2 wasn’t too interested in even his fingers. Grandchild #3 is almost ‘addicted’ to having either two fingers in his mouth (prefers one hand and the 2nd and 3rd fingers) - and he just turned 4. I keep telling him ‘nap time and bedtime only’ - we have the stuff to paint on his fingers to make them taste bad but he will just wipe it off/wash it off. Grandchild #4 typically just puts these same fingers in her mouth at bedtime, and the 5 month old typically has these same two fingers in her mouth from her left hand as she gets tired.
The thumb is bad (my younger sister was fortunate to have her teeth and the roof of her mouth not affected more ‘permanently’).
My first DD wasn’t much for pacifier or her fingers, but DD2 was (same two fingers as her nieces/nephew) - and her older girl cousin talked her out of it and painted her fingernails at age 4 which stopped the finger sucking. This cousin went with DD2 after DD2’s college graduation for a 2-week European vacation - they are like two peas in a pod even with geographical distance and age difference. They have fun together.
The digital camera is great but watch out, it has games on it also which the little ones quickly find. Granddaughter has loved her camera and does take pictures with it, but they had to take grandsons away from him because he was playing too many games on it
I sucked my thumb until I was 5. Glad my parents didn’t think they should get rid of it!
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Of my younger two grandkids , One gave up his pacifier somewhere between two and three I don’t recall, and the little baby doesn’t care for a pacifier. He uses his fingers also. It’s funny, he’ll suck on a thumb or an index finger or something unless he’s tired then he sucks on his last two fingers and it’s a sign that he’s tired. Of the older, two grandkids granddaughter gave up the pacifier by donating it to the trash man (lol), but her brother has a really hard time letting it go. He repeatedly said he’d give it up for Father’s Day, for his birthday, etc. but it really is the only thing that calms him when he has a total meltdown and needs to go Into his bed and have some quiet time. So for now they’ll let it be.
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I have 5 grandchildren. Three with with son and two with my daughter. GD2 (4) sucks her thumb at bedtime. When she was a baby she liked to twirl her mommie’s hair and suck her thumb to go to sleep. She transitioned to a doll (Ridley) with hair when she was about 1 and when she went to preschool/daycare they had a home Ridley and a school Ridley.
GS1 sucked his thumb and twirled his mommie’s hair (different family). He transitioned to pulling out his own hair to hold in his hand. Since it went hand in hand with the thumb sucking they used the bad tasting nail polish and mittens on his hands when he slept at about age 2 and he gave them both up.
His brother GD3(1) is our only pacifier baby. At naptime and bedtime he likes to have one in his hand and one in his mouth. His mom puts several in his crib in case he drops one.
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My S had a pacifier, which we clipped to his shirt (otherwise, he’d drop it in the dirt & pop it right back in his mouth). He would touch his navel while sucking on his pacifier. It was just what he did. He gave up the pacifier & the navel touching on his own, sometime around 3. D carried a crib blanket with a soft binding with her until she started 3 year old preschool, but she kept her blanket in her backpack (“Just in case, Mom”) through the first semester of kindergarten.
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I took away pacifiers for my kids when they started to spit it out of their mouths. I think it was around 2-3 months. D1 did the same with her 2 kids. They didn’t suck on their thumbs after that.
I wish the parents would have been more proactive with GS2 giving up his fingers - with use of the bad tasting stuff and the gloves when he was young enough to comply. So far, it seems, he is the one to have to make a very conscious effort.
My oldest was a finger sucker. It caused a tongue thrust that was really hard to fix. She had to go to a speech specialist who helped her to train her tongue to sit on its spot on the roof of her mouth. It included strengthening her lips. The therapy was a prerequisite by the orthodontist before he would do braces. He said if she didn’t correct that the teeth would go back to where they were as the tongue was pushing the front teeth forward. I think they called it reverse swallow. In order to get her to stop we had to tape her hand in a sock at night.
One of my other kids used a pacifier till she was past three for bed. She would start out the night with several in her bed. As one dropped to the floor she would grab another.
none of my grandchildren used a pacifier beyond a few months.
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Grandparents on this thread are not only aware of the challenges they had as parents but now see some of the challenges their children are facing.
7 YO GD1 (and the type of high opinion she has about doing things herself as well as believing she ‘knows more’ than parents/grandparents) I believe will have those personality strengths ‘refined’ with maturity. Last Sunday, she piped in to her mother on “the best way to drive home” and her mother had none of it! She is grumpy in the morning but has refused to allow me to help speed up dressing herself until this morning – I help her brother with his uniform (snap on tie, buttoning his shirt), and she complained “you never help me” – so I reminded her how she has always refused my help and been extremely grumpy to me “so why would I continue to offer help to a grumpy girl?”. So she said she wanted my help and that was ‘progress made’. Several mornings, when she is at breakfast, I say “good morning” and she hasn’t answered me - and I told her when someone addresses you with a “good morning”, you look them in the eye and pleasantly say back “good morning” – it took her a few minutes, and she later did say “good morning” to me.
By the time they are loaded in the car, all four generally are happy and say goodbye to Nana as I am home with their baby sister. 7 YO is always the last in - and I just allow DD1 to hustle her along; the other 3 are cooperative in moving along and getting buckled in.
Last night, I sat down with the 7 YO and 6 YO, and I said “in 10 years, you both will be driving, and Nana and Grandpa will be almost 80. So instead of us helping out with your care and driving you various places, it may be that the roles will be reversed”. The 4 YO was interested in knowing how old he would be.
I keep reminded them to enjoy every bit of their childhood; looking at their baby sister, I say “You only have these young times for a very short time. You learn and grow and take on more responsibilities in time. Never going back, so live your childhood well.” They see for themselves how much their younger sister has grown and changed since she was born in March.
Just here to say ugh to having first grader, two weeks into the school year, taking standardized test on Chromebooks. GD apparently had a panic attack in school and didn’t answer anything. I don’t blame her. It’s ridiculous. And antithetical to actual learning, which she loves.
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That is beyond ridiculous!
At our local schools, they do that in second grade. I still think many second graders are not able to test accurately in this situation. Kindergarten and First Grade students test individually with a teacher.
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Is her learning from a tablet versus use of books/softcover workbooks? Public schools with state educational goals will do this early year and also later year testing to see what gains the students have made during the school year.
GD1 and GS1 had two years in a private Catholic school (which is open to all potential students) - they had testing at the end of the year but not all on one day and also appropriate for their level. DDs had testing every other year in their Catholic school through 8th grade.
The new private school (also Catholic but again open to all students) is a start-up due to the school closing - and to me, DD1/SIL made the right decision to have their students at this school. The students are getting a lot of individual attention within group teaching/class level as well as other activities that are small group. GD1 is using 3rd grade English workbooks because she used 2nd grade ones in first grade and is able to do the work competently. They pay attention to assessing the child’s ability level with the teaching materials.
Now we will see if they do some standardized testing at their new school (the school of 30 years closed due to a series of contributing factors, but it was such excellent education!) We see good things from their new school. They did all testing at end of the year and have not done any testing at the beginning of the year.
DD1 did show me the test results from GD1 from the last two years (K and first grades), and GS1 from last year. No testing for K4, so just K testing. K testing was limited. Both kids did fine, and GD1 exceptional - very high across all measures.
GD1 is staying overnight with me after the ballet. On our way home, she asked me, “Po Po, can I stay 3 nights with you?”
When her mom dropped her off this afternoon, she said to her mom, “I am going to give you a hug now, and can you leave.” She knew she was in charge when she is with me.
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My HS teacher H talked to colleagues who have knowledge of state testing practices at the primary level, and they told him it’s just for practice until third grade. But the kids aren’t told this. GD has already been identified as “gifted” but she’s also high anxiety especially about doing things the right way, and has zero experience with touchscreens, because there are better things for a six year old to spent their time with. I don’t like this at all.
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Booked our winter travel with the big kids and the older grands to Hawaii! Yay.
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Yeah she tested with teacher very highly in K. I just don’t like this trend at all. She’s in a lovely, very hands-on creativity centered school which she loves, but the testing, and prepping for testing, comes from the state.
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Our kid’s daycare was at least Montessori adjacent. So I have to confess to cringing when I get the videos of GS’s daycare doing flash card of shapes and colors. But he seems to enjoy it so I won’t say anything. He also loves his teachers which is cool.
Sort of bummed that I won’t see him this weekend. DD1 is sick so I didn’t go to their house for dinner tonight. I coach all day tomorrow with last game kicking off at 6:15 which means getting to their house pre-bedtime is not happening. On Sunday, I have concert tickets and have to queue up early to get best seats
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But that’s why they do them for practice, to get the kids familiar with taking tests on tablets or computers, to figure out how to reason through the tests. My kids went to a catholic school and did not have a lot of standardized testing, and when they switched to public schools they were way behind their peers. Were they less smart? No, just not used to the equipment.