August 24, 2001 </p>
<p>Freshman Orientation:
Surviving and Thriving as a Hoya </p>
<p>By Mike Hume
Hoya Staff Writer</p>
<p>Have you ever tried to put your pants on both legs at the same time? Do you remember when your 90-year-old aunt insisted on telling you all about the tightness she had in her bowels? Or maybe you made the mistake of sitting through American Pie with your parents, sinking further and further into your seat with every one of the movie’s 2,946 sexual references?</p>
<p>College orientation is on that level of awkwardness, if not worse.</p>
<p>You’re on your own. Your only company are kids your own age who you are trying desperately to befriend and the only help you have in that endeavor is the nifty little nametag you and everyone else will have to wear that first week. With this in mind, here are some more tips as you try to survive your initiation into the college world.</p>
<p>As you are thrown into the social mixing pot it is important that you go out and meet people. Even though many of the orientation events are about as action-packed as Al Gore after a Tylenol PM, they provide a great opportunity to meet people. There are also a bunch of events that give you free time to mingle with the other freshmen, and you should definitely take advantage of these as well.</p>
<p>Needless to say, don’t be shy. Go introduce yourself. Trust me, nothing bad will happen. Everyone is just as nervous as you are and will be happy that someone came over and talked with them, period. Remember, this is Georgetown. We have the extroverted standards of the 42nd president of the United States. If you want to be reclusive, transfer to Harvard and then after you graduate you can go live in a shack in Montana and write manifestos and play with incendiary devices. But while you’re here, make orientation worthwhile and meet the other freshmen. They, and the FBI, will like it better that way.</p>
<p>Once you’re talking to people it’s important to make yourself memorable. I suppose the easiest way to explain this would be to provide some examples.</p>
<p>Example one. Dick goes over to talk to Jane and says, “Hi my name is Dick and I’m from New Jersey.” Dick suddenly is struck by a wave of pollen, which triggers his allergies causing him to sneeze all over Jane. This is a pretty obvious example of what not to do. I think we all can identify what Dick’s mistake was. That’s right, he said he was from New Jersey.</p>
<p>You will soon find that everyone is from New Jersey. No one will remember you just because you’re from New Jersey. Relatively speaking, in terms of leaving a lasting impression, the sneeze was a far better tactic than relating his residency in the Garden State.</p>
<p>Now obviously I’m exaggerating, but the principle remains the same. Leave a good impression. Make them laugh or make them revere you. Think of your best stories and weave those into the conversation. </p>
<p>Please note that I said “weave.” Don’t go just blabbing about yourself or making random observations with only the most tenuous of connections to the topic. Ask questions about the others and wait for the proper time to wow your crowd. Be patient. Let’s take another example from Dick.</p>
<p>Jane: “So I’m originally from Wisconsin and I thought about going to the University of Wisconsin but I decided to get away from home.”</p>
<p>Jenny: “Why did you want to go away for college?”</p>
<p>Jane: “Thank you for asking, Jenny. Well, for one I didn’t like the climate that much…”</p>
<p>Dick: “I like badgers.”</p>
<p>Jane: “Excuse me?”</p>
<p>Dick: “Badgers. The University of Wisconsin’s mascot is a badger. I like them.”</p>
<p>Jenny: “Right.”</p>
<p>Jack (a strapping young man who has heard the whole conversation speaks up.) “I was recruited to play quarterback at Wisconsin, but I turned them down so I the cure for world hunger, which is based here in Washington.”</p>
<p>Jenny and Jane simultaneously: “Are you doing anything tonight?”</p>
<p>Well again that’s pretty self-explanatory, so I won’t waste any more of your time on leaving a lasting impression.</p>
<p>After you’ve determined whether or not you like the person you’ve been talking to, seal the deal. Get their phone number. This will be the easiest it will ever be in your entire life because more often than not, no one has a clue about what’s going on that night so they will want options. Get the digits, give them a call and that night you will most likely form your very first freshman herd and crash an upperclass party. And with this in mind I give you my last piece of advice.</p>
<p>OK it’s time to cover mom’s eyes and stick your fingers in dad’s ears because I’m about to bust out the B word. Beer.</p>
<p>It’s here. It’s college. Don’t act surprised. In many cases it’s in abundance. But, that does not mean that you have to drink in abundance. Like I mentioned earlier, it is important to make an impression. It won’t be very good if that impression is throwing up all over yourself, or drinking to the point where you start making passes at light posts or hitting on the statue of John Carroll. Be responsible and take it easy.</p>
<p>Well, that about sums it up. Those are my great words of wisdom. How cheated do you feel? I know. It’s all pretty much common sense. Hardly something awe inspiring from the mouth of the Dalai Lama. So what can you take away from this article?</p>
<p>The point I want to emphasize most is that you need to relax, have a sense of humor about the process. Even if you don’t meet a ton of people, it’s not the end of the world. When classes start you’ll have plenty of other opportunities to meet people throughout the course of the year. Join a club. Go to sporting events. There are tons of opportunities at college and you should take advantage of all of them.</p>
<p>Now, just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. With a process as awkward and painful as college orientation, it’s virtually assured that the best is yet to come.