Thank you for starting this! D12 graduated in 16 so we’ve done the whole series once already. It was still really hard when we put D18 on a plane Tuesday. She’s in school 1000 miles away but in the same city as her sis. I love that they are close but it’s so weird to just have S19 at home now.
D and SIL moved in D18 yesterday. We know she went out to eat with her roommate last night and is helping an online buddy move in today. I love that social media has helped her meet a good handful of fellow freshman before even getting there. I’m so curious to know how it’s going! I have cried on and off the last several weeks and the family knows I cry at everything! Not sure how I’ll make it through S19’s last year of HS.
@abasket – yes, I’ll only do for a couple days during short-term wallowing period. She knows it’s on and asks me to ping her phone when she misplaces it.
My S18 leaves Wednesday. My husband is flying up with him. I’ve scheduled a lot of work meetings to stay busy. Luckily I have an elementary age child so no empty nest yet.
We drop our only off on Monday. I was a mess the week leading up to drop off, did great at actual drop off and the following day, and then totally fell apart Wednesday. Started sobbing while running errands. TH/F and today have been better but it’s HARD!
I agree with the stay busy advice although I’ve been doing that by cyber stalking the college FB page where all the orientation pictures are being posted. ; )
I am going to wallow here too, except D2 is 24. She lived with me for 2 years after she graduated from college to save up some money for law school. She moved out last Fri to start school. Even though she is still in the same city as me, the apartment just seem so empty without her. I used to shop for 2 of us, now it is just me. I used to have to keep the TV quiet until she was up in the morning. I miss her.
Totally get it. We have 2. S1 just got married 3 weeks ago, and 3 days before the wedding informed us that he and his wife will be moving 800 miles away this coming weekend (very unexpectedly), from living around the corner. Then, S2 starts college 2 days later. My husband doesn’t understand how I’m feeling which is…kind of like I’m being fired…and it’s all happening the same darn weekend. It’s been quite the emotional summer!
I also work at their high school. This will be the first time in 10 years (yes, a bit of a span in between!) that I haven’t had to bring one of them with me, or take one of them home or not having anyone ask me for money, or just stop by my office to say “Hi”…I’ll miss that the most…that and their friends.
I dropped my sophomore daughter off at her new dorm last Wednesday. And I cried the whole way home. I am lucky, she had been home since the first week of May, but the summer flew by. You’d think I’d be used to this by now; she attended boarding school so this was my 6th time doing this. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.
@cameo43 This feels worse to me than boarding school somehow, even though she will be much closer to home. It’s the growing-up thing…well, time to get back to wallowing…
A bit of a wallow here as well. D just left for Peace Corps this am. She has lived overseas, she is a married adult, but this is twenty seven months in a very far away part of the world with no visits home.
“A little concerned how he is adjusting. Only child. Never had to share a room before.”
Just fyi. Most kids today do not share a room with a sibling even if they have them. At my daughters orientation they asked how many parents shared a bedroom growing up. It was at least 60 percent. Then they asked how many kids did. Less than 20 perecent.
Yes, neither of my kids shared a room growing up but they did in college and managed just fine. Most kids DO manage fine, so long as there is some mutual respect.
I started the same thread 10 years ago. Only child. My wife and I were lost for a while. I really missed my buddy. And at college he was not especially communicative.
There were ups and downs, struggles and triumphs, and a broken serious romance (that turned out to be a blessing).
DS graduated on time, became a Navy Officer, is on his 2nd tour, bought a house, got two dogs, and married his soulmate this May. We hear from him several times a week.
@HImom My three DDs (years 15, 15, and 18) have shared a room for 13 years. D18 is in a true triple this year. However, it’s bigger than their current room. As seniors, the older two girls both finally have singles this year.
When I was pregnant, it took 9 months to fully acclimate to the idea that I was going to be a mom. And the first several years were tough – figuring out what to discard from the schedule so that kids could be a priority. And over 18 years, it kind of settled into what it needed to be. And then… back to square one! Except you don’t actually go back!
The hardest part for me has been that I know DC will never really come home again in the same way – he’ll visit, and then as an adult. And ithat makes it hard when we say goodbye. Every time. And he’s now halfway through college. I did not feel like this sending him to camp.
Wallow away – it’s the new normal if you have successfully launched your kid - which of course is what we were trying to do! But it aches.
Oh, my- I feel for all of you who are posting on this thread. Hang in there!
I have until next Monday (8/27), our first-ever drop-off day for our only child. Until his 3-night Disney graduation trip this spring, he had hardly ever spent a night away from home. We are proud of the man he has become and know he is ready and will do great with his increased independence at college, but we will miss him terribly.
This month’s lead-up to the drop-off has been a little different from what I’d expected, since both of my parents are in crisis: my mother is in the hospital with life-threatening blood clots in her lungs, and I had to put my father into Assisted Living temporarily; he has dementia and cannot live in his apartment without my mother. It has been hard for me because all I want to do is spend every minute just enjoying being next to my son, but instead I am spending hours calling doctors for my mom and caregivers for my dad and visiting/ sleeping over with my dad in assisted living… 45 minutes away from where my son is.
And I know my son’s departure will be hard for my husband, too, and I feel like I can’t even be fully with him to go through it together, because I am pulled in so many directions… including getting my teachers ready for the start of a new school year as a curriculum director. I never before found it so hard to balance my roles of educational leader, daughter, wife, and mother.
I know my son will be fine and enjoy college. And my husband and I keep reminding each other that it is not too terribly long until Rosh Hashanah weekend, then Parent Visitation day in October, then Thanksgiving, and then December break… so we have to make it through only a month at a time. “Only.” Yeah, right.
@TheGreyKing, so sorry for your sandwich generation troubles. FYI (and off-topic here), you may find some warmth and support in the parentscaringfortheparent support thread here in the Parent Cafe.
