Drop off went great! We were there for 2 nights which is a lot more than the drop and run my parents had to do back in the day. Left her after lunch and she was happy and relaxed. She’s got this.
I did really well on ride home yesterday and even last night, but woke up early this morning with such a strong desire to physically hold her so tight. And now here I am crying and thinking about her every minute. Wondering what she’s doing and trying not to text too much.
I know it’ll get easier. I know I should stay busy and distract myself. But I also right now just feel the need to wallow a bit. So here I am wallowing.
Not really looking for advice (though it couldn’t hurt, I’m sure ) – just thought some of us might want to wallow together for a bit. . .
{{{{ hugs}}}}
you are allowed to wallow as much as needed. the ache you now feel inside shall pass.
I used to break into tears when passing my DS’s room for the entire first year after he [ my only] went away to college.
Be prepared for that first trip to the grocery store. Not buying DS’s favorite things was a hard thing for me at first. Feeding a teenage boy is work, but also kind of fun.
Same here. Dropped the kid off and it went reasonably smoothly. A little concerned how he is adjusting. Only child. Never had to share a room before. He did take a shower though which I thought was a big step.
I remember when I dropped my DDs15 off. One twin was on a Friday and I teared up but held it together. The second was the next day and I did fine until we said goodbye. Then I cried the whole way home. Once I got home, I was okay for the rest of the weekend, but the weekdays were very hard. It took that whole week before I regained my equilibrium. I keep thinking that it will be easier for DD18 because we move her in on Thursday and then go back to move one DD15 in on Saturday. I hope that’s all true.
Many hugs to all who are navigating the first few days.
Dropped my kid off at the airport at 4 am this morning. Went home and laid in bed and weepily watched FlightAware notifications for my kid’s flights. Happily my kid made it to New Haven-Tweed with 14 other excited first-years.
“Be prepared for that first trip to the grocery store.”
When my kids first went away to school, it took awhile to adjust my cooking habits - how much I bought, how much food I prepared. I would instinctively reach into the cabinet and pull out the old number of dinner plates, not the new reality. It sure took awhile.
My daughters are 25 and 27 and I still dream about them being young children. In one dream the other night, one of them disappeared. I no longer wallow but I certainly miss them.
I wondered if someone would start this thread - it’s an annual ritual here on CC.
First, hugs!
I cried when my D2 left Thursday - and it was my 12th time saying goodbye to a child leaving for a year of college - for me it didn’t get a whole lot easier!
And re: the grocery store or walking by their empty room - the BEST thing is when they are coming home for a break - and you make grocery trip TO buy all their favorites! And you walk by their room and know they are there!
It was years ago for me (kids are 25 and 27). It really was hard being only a year apart in school; we went from a full nest to an empty nest quickly. I felt alone as my husband seemed fine and everyone around me was telling me I should not be feeling anything but happiness and pride as they were on their way to becoming adults. I remember telling my mother I felt like there had been a death and she really made me feel like a fool.
Finally, I found another mom who understood me and we talked a lot. For me, I was leaving my favorite stage of life (so far!) and really needed to process it and feel those feelings. I’m not saying I just sat and wept, but I allowed myself to grieve the loss of that stage of my life. Everyone is different so be kind to yourself and ask for help if you need it. I am still grateful to my friend who understood me and let me share. We have lunch a couple of times a month though now rarely talk about the nest, empty or otherwise!
I remember so clearly the first winter break when they were both home. The contentment I felt as I knew my 2 kids and husband were all asleep under the same roof is indescribable. But now I am definitely okay with that stage being over. We have so much fun when we are all together, but being alone with my husband now feels right.
{{Hugs}} to all the first-timers!!! I remember that day so well. Sitting in the family room that evening, minus one very big soul, the remaining four of us looking back and forth at each other and feeling S’s absence.
This week will be my 12th college drop-off, in addition to 2 new job drop-offs. They do get a little easier.
With my first, it wasn’t the grocery store - it was the library. I was startled when the desk person said S’s hold had come in. I almost broke into tears before I could say he didn’t need it after all. We had been library buddies, going every week together for years.
I also resisted the temptation to text S the first week of school since I wanted him to initiate contact on his terms. Then I found out H and D had been texting him frequently, lol!
As of today, I’m officially an empty nester. It hasn’t really hit me yet. My girls are at the same school so that makes me feel better but man, it was hard leaving campus today.
Do yourself a favor…because you’ll drive YOURSELF crazy (let alone letting “trust” play it out) - follow for a day or two if you must - but really after that, STOP.
I would add unless you have your child’s permission to track them…but really, even if you do…
