<p>Your post caught my eye, so I decided to respond. Before doing so, I found Samuel Johnson’s Rasselas online, and I read it. I found the story to be more positive than negative. Rasselas was wise beyond his years to realize that there was more to life than he had experienced in his Utopian kingdom. He demonstrated great courage by choosing to explore the world beyond that kingdom. In my opinion, Rasselas returned to his kingdom victorious, because he succeeded in finding what he had really been seeking: knowledge and experience. </p>
<p>Regardless of reader interpretation, Rasselas is a rich and interesting tale. What I found more interesting, however, was Samuel Johnson’s reason for writing Rasselas–to earn money to pay for his mother’s funeral and to repay her debts. Consider Johnson’s state of mind while he was writing Rasselas. Also consider that despite his grief, Johnson set a goal–to earn direly-needed money–and he achieved that goal under exceptionally trying circumstances. I see more parallels between you and Samuel Johnson than between you and Johnson’s fictional character, Rasselas.</p>
<p>You sound to me to be a realistic and emotionally mature person. You seek knowledge and experience. You celebrate your achievements appropriately, and then you get back to the business of living. As long as you continue to find satisfaction in your achievements, and as long as you continue to enjoy setting, pursuing, and achieving goals, then I don’t think you have sufficient reason to doubt your ability to experience happiness, because you are already experiencing happiness (in your own, unique way) on a day-to-day basis. However, I suggest that you take time to determine what “true” happiness means for you before you attempt to pursue and “sustain” it. </p>
<p>What some define as “true happiness,” others define as complacency. Complacent people mistakenly assume that they have found “true happiness,” and so, they stop setting, pursuing, and achieving goals. A complacent person stagnates, and just as stagnant water gradually becomes a source of decay and disease, a stagnant life gradually becomes a source of bitterness and despair. I agree with Chedva’s wise observation that, “The unhappiest people are those with no more goals, those with nothing to look forward to.” Complacency is a living death. Your pursuit of happiness through goal-setting and achievement suggests that complacency runs counter to your nature, which benefits both you and the people with whom you share your life.</p>
<p>Like you, I am a goal-setter. I am satisfied with the goals I have achieved, and I continue to set goals for myself so that I can continue to experience satisfaction from achieving those goals. I will continue to set goals for myself until the day I die. That is my nature. Having said that, and in answer to your specific question, I–like barrons–expected to find happiness in relationships with others. I found such happiness only once, more than twenty years ago, when I was in my early thirties. I unexpectedly fell in love with an individual who appeared to be “truly happy,” but who was actually complacent, as well as profoundly bitter. The individual skillfully concealed that profound bitterness from me only for as long as the relationship with me was a source of amusement. When the amusement ended, the individual abruptly and unceremoniously discarded me. The pain of that rejection has never abated; I live with it to this day. While I agree with barrons that “many people find true happiness in relationships with others,” I caution you that many people also find true unhappiness in relationships with others. A personal relationship is unpredictable and uncontrollable, and therefore, an unreliable source of “sustained” happiness. If you approach personal relationships realistically, you will be more likely to encounter happiness than unhappiness. </p>
<p>Only you can judge for yourself whether or not you have a happiness “problem,” but I think that you are in good emotional shape. In fact, I think that you are in better emotional shape than most people your age, as well as most people my age. I commend your rationality, maturity, and self-insight. Despite your present doubts, I think that you will always have a satisfying–and happy–life. </p>
<p>Best wishes.</p>