The kid's audition/s - why am *I* so nervous?

<p>I type this as the kid continues her day of auditioning at a "legendary" school. She is excited, but basically calm. <em>I</em> am a bundle of anxiety, more so than any other of her auditions.</p>

<p>I think and hope I mask that reasonably well from her. I do hope so. But I'll bare it all for you.</p>

<p>How are others handling the hurry up and wait with so very much on the line?</p>

But I'll bare it all for you.


<p>I have a reputation on the line I must defend. Those who know me can appreciate how hard it is for me not to take a set-up line like that and run with it. In twenty directions. It pains me to let that go by. Opportunities like that are few and far between. The word play dances in my head, I have to struggle to keep my fingers off the keyboard.</p>

<p>It's a bottom of the ninth, 2 out three runs down and bases loaded scenario. I get pitched a hanging curve ball.</p>

<p>AND I CAN'T SWING! (Damn TOS) :D</p>

<p>ok... end of rant.</p>

<p>We're all nervous. And it's always on the line. From the undergrad, through the festival, immersion experiences, through the competitions, the grad school apps, and the pro auditions. </p>

<p>Breathe. There's nothing else you can do. You support your kid, and bask in their accomplishments, and try and make sense of the disappointments. </p>

<p>That's our job.</p>

<p>This is the dream they have. </p>

<p>Enjoy every minute of being a part of it.</p>

<p>BOTH OF YOU BEHAVE..............</p>

<p>take a deep breath and back away sloooooowly from the keyboard</p>

<p>Why do I feel, between the baring and breathing, that Sopranomom and Violadad are somewhere smoking a cigarette?</p>

<p>Seriously, Sopranomom, you just do it, support them, agonize with them, celebrate with them and, if you're un-musical like me, you are in awe of their ability every time.</p>

<p>Best of luck to your daughter!</p>

<p>I have found that it gets easier for me now that he is older, probably due to lack of proximity. When he was in high school, I would listen to him practice for hours. When I went with him to an audition, I heard every single wrong note, every squeak, every note that wasn't quite in tune, and cringed with every mistake. Once he left for college, I was removed from it. I didn't always know exactly when his auditions were and I wasn't there when they happened. </p>

<p>In December, we attended his master's degree recital. I found that I was not nervous in the least! There were 2 reasons for this - I didn't know any of the music he was playing and therefore I didn't recognize every mistake or glitch. Second, my confidence in him as a musician has grown. He is 25 now. He is well on his way and I know he will find a way to succeed one way or another, so I don't worry much about him. Does that make sense? I think when he was in high school and college, I always worried that he would hit an obstacle that he could not overcome so I was always nervous. I don't worry about that any more!</p>

<p>It will get better eventually. Meanwhile, don't ever let your daughter know how nervous you get!</p>

<p>I was going to add my .02 about how calm and relaxed I am since its now grad school on the line. I was typing, she called me and said that she has another big YES from one of her "dream studios". woooooooo hooooooo. Now Im not "baring it all" , but I am doing a little dance around my desk.</p>

<p>Well big congratulations to you and your daughter:)</p>

<p>The nerves for parents just goes with the territory if you ask me. Though as stated above, I too feel that as they get older, the nerves tend to calm down a bit. My son just finished his grad school auditions, so we're now in the official wait mode...of course I say the nerves are better....but, I do ask him everytime I talk to him..soooo? Did you get any mail today? haha......he thinks its funny, and says..ok, mom...I PROMISE you'll be the first person I call:)</p>

<p>now for an even more important much $</p>

<p>I agree with all of the above posts. Here's my piece of advice that I actually took from my auditioning son. On his first audition this year, while we were still in the hotel room that morning he specifically told me he was nervous and requested that I please be quiet, don't say anything, don't offer or do anything at all. If he needed something, he'd ask. Boy, that stopped me in my tracks. But I listened and it worked out very well. My point is I listened and respected his nerves and it helped mine as well. </p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>I worry all the time. There are times when I wish my son didn't even TELL me when he was taking an audition. All I do is fret. He is finishing his masters degree but still...I fret.</p>

<p>I will say...I do agree with Shennie. I truly loved DS's masters recital because I had no idea what the notes were...hadn't heard it practiced over and over. It was fresh and I thought...terrific.</p>

<p>But the auditions...yikes...<em>I</em> get all nervous and I worry.</p>

<p>Rudysmom. My son has always been the exact same way, before any performances, recitals, auditions. He asks to be left alone, says he'll eat after the show so please don't keeppushing, and he knows he needs to stay hydrated, lol. So I also learned to just stay quiet and not bother him, till the show etc, is over. Works much better for all of us.</p>

<p>Well, okay, how about baring it "most"? The ToS, my inherent anxiety-producing shyness, and my fondness of remaining married all serve to (forgive me) cover the rest.</p>

<p>Well, that and I don't smoke :)</p>

<p>She has a firm yes from one of her top choices and one of those positive emails we're hearing so much about from another top choice. This should be relaxing. Maybe it is - maybe I'd be committed to involuntary care otherwise.</p>

<p>SJTH, I am a happy amateur. I am not in my kid's league. I've been in awe of her raw ability since she started singing along, and reasonably well, to "Happy Birthday" - when she turned 1. She's lucky in that she has always known what she wants to do, even with my suggesting that there are safer career paths out there. Singing is her passion. Always has been.</p>

<p>I think I just figured it out. If she were wishy-washy about music, that would be one thing. But for her, it's her very self-identity. That's why it matters.</p>

<p>Is it April yet?</p>

<p>Musica (1) Congrats on your and your D's happy dance!!! (2) Yeah. The next looming question/problem. As if getting into a top-tier school weren't stressful enough, there's the paying for it. Getting in doesn't mean getting it paid for.</p>

<p>There may be a future anxiety-ridden message from me towards the end of the first week of April, but for now I am trying to stay focused on the current terror. As my very good friend's father is wont to say, "One disaster at a time."</p>

<p>"Is it April yet? "</p>

<p>Nope. Still about two years to go. April itself, however, will be about three days long.</p>

<p>"April, come she will!"</p>

<li>P. Simon</li>

<p>Two hanging curves in a row. Violadad is going nuts. Oops, make that three.</p>

<p>Well! I guess I know how some folks work off the tension. ;)</p>

<p>I am officially the worrier. My kid counts on it. He says he doesn't have to worry at all because he knows I've got that part taken care of. He knows that the first call he must make after an audition is to me. He is more eager to call with good news. When I don't hear, it is almost always bad news.</p>

<p>He had an audition on Wednesday - late afternoon/early evening. He didn't call until 11:30 p.m. His first words were, "Honest, this is the first chance I got to call you." He also said he was afraid I would be thinking it went badly because he didn't call. I said he thought right. But it had gone well, he was on a high, and talked for over an hour.</p>

<p>That being said, I agree with Shennie that I am not nearly the bundle of nerves I was some years back. I think it's probably because of a variety of reasons. There is less to prove; my kid has had more successes in the meantime. It's too late to consider changing my parenting style if my kid makes a mistake, so if it's my fault, it's just too bad. I have learned that nothing truly terrible happens after a bad audition (no blood, no maiming, my hair and fingernails grow back). I found out that all my worrying doesn't really change anything. I had to quit talking about it so much because most of my friends DON'T CARE. And I reached a point where I either had to find saner ways to deal with it, or stronger meds.</p>

<p>So on audition days, I have my own routine. I have a pair of earrings for each kid's instrument. On audition days, I wear the appropriate earrings. And everytime I look in the mirror, I remember to say a prayer. My kids know what it means when they see the earrings, too.</p>

<p>"April itself, however, will be about three days long." Oh, I LOVE that! If I belived in bumper stickers, I'd have the presses running right now!!
I am not really nervous and I am always rock-steady when any of my kids perform or compete, because I know that there is nothing I can do at that point. I simply DETEST not knowing what comes next!
My D doesn't have a nerve in her body, it's downright scary. She handled her auditions with aplomb and has kept her cool through all if it, even while maintaining all 100s and 99s in her classes. While other girls in her class groan about writing essays for their appliacations, she researched the likely audition panel members at each of her schools to figure out which pieces would resonate the best for each group; she's only just 17, who thinks of things like that?!
I hear the mailbox open each afternoon and count to 10 before I slowly walk toward the door. What would I do if there was something "good" in there? I have it on the best authority that steam is out, so I'll have to wait until my D gets home. But she has play rehearsals until 6PM each day- will the envelopes be thin enough to see through, just a little bit?
We have been through the e-mails and also the personal letters from profs and even from peripheral faculty, who "just want to say hi" and say that "they'll be watching her application". As if that wasn't nervewracking enough, the phone calls have begun...I always miss the ones to the house, but now they have tracked D down on her cell phone!! Funny, I don't even think of those "shared minutes" ticking away as D is complimented and asked what would help her "choose their school". These guys (a not always accurate term, forgive me) are good, very, very, smooth. And while my hands sweat-not perspire- and slip from this keyboard- my D enjoys a much appreciated ego-boost which will. hopefully, carry over into tomorrow's AP Literature exam!<br>
Were we this calm and self-possesed at their ages? I know I wasn't! I had to apply rosin to my hands as well as to my bow before any performance and back in the days of "Ice Blue Secret", I'd use the stuff by the container during competition season (Uh oh, can you all tell how old I am now? You already know about the hair coloring!!).
Some of you are going through this for the second time with your grad students or multiple youngsters, in the music field, some of us are here for the first, and only time. I think that as April draws to a close, I'm going to really miss this place, and you. I hope that we can find a thread to chat and keep in touch and share stories of what is yet to come. Meanwhile, keep marking off those days with big red X's!</p>

<p>Mezzo, I first came here 3 years ago, just weeks before my son's first audition, and look,
I'm still here! Lot's of us have been around for a long time. No need to go away, we want to hear about your D's progress and adventures. You can provide valuable information for those just starting this process.</p>

<p>This forum is for and about Music Majors, not only the admissions process. Hang around, there is still much to learn and do after the decision is made and the deposit check sent. As just one example, there is a lot of valuable information about summer music camps for college students.</p>