The New Rules of College Sex

Parent Cafe
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<p>I just read this article in this month’s issue of Philadelphia Magazine. I am totally flabbergasted.</p>

<p>[The</a> New Rules of College Sex - Philadelphia Magazine - phillymag.com](<a href=“http://www.phillymag.com/articles/the_new_rules_of_college_sex/]The”>The New Rules of College Sex - Philadelphia Magazine)</p>

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<p>When did the rules change and what rock have I been living under?</p>

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<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1198647-warning-all-college-men.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1198647-warning-all-college-men.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>A very lengthy discussion has been going on about this subject.</p>

<p>Depending on when you went under the rock, as it were, I’m not sure the rules have changed that much. By law, someone who is drunk is unable to consent to sex, and thus sexual acts with them are ostensibly sexual assault. Unfortunately, there is no distinction drawn between taking advantage of a drunk girl and engaging in a --at the time–consensual and drunken romp. I find this highly unfair and unacceptable, but am unsure how I would want it rectified while still preserving the legitimately-needed protections and options for victims of maliciously-imposed and unwanted sexual acts.</p>

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<p>I would wager that there are more drunk young ladies that are taken advantage of sexually than there are young men who are charged with sexual assault after consensual drunken sexual activity.</p>

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<p>He was drunk too. And not only that, SHE is the one who grabbed his p3nis first.</p>

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<p>“to consent to sex, and thus sexual acts with them are ostensibly sexual assault. Unfortunately, there is no distinction drawn between taking advantage of a drunk girl and engaging in a --at the time–consensual and drunken romp.”</p>

<p>This is absolutely false. From a legal perspective, the only question is whether she has given active, voluntary consent. Drinking - his or her - has nothing to do with it. (Same would be true for drugs, or whether she was hit over the head with a crowbar.)</p>

<p>From the school’s perspective, they can set up their own judicial procedures to deal with charges of sexual harassment under Title IX.</p>

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<p>^^^ that’s not true mini. Some states call it “simple rape”. It’s when someone is considered incapable of truly understanding consent – the person is developmentally delayed, impaired, unconscious, underage, etc.</p>

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<p>For example:</p>

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<p>Louisiana’s statute is different from that in 36 other states.</p>

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<p>Louisiana Simple Rape Law
<a href=“3”>QUOTE</a> When the female victim submits under the belief that the person committing the act is her husband and such belief is intentionally induced by any artifice, pretense, or concealment practiced by the offender.

[/QUOTE]

Wait, what?</p>

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<p>^ I know - that falls into the category of “things that make you go hmmmmm”!</p>

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<p>Sounds like a plot of a Victorian novel…</p>

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<p>Sounds like Warren Jeffs.</p>

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<p>I wish I could remember where I read it, but there was a real case a few years ago about a woman who had sex with a man she thought was her husband, because it was dark and she had been asleep, but it turned out to be some other man (a house guest, perhaps). The man was not charged because he had not intentionally deceived her. He just thought she was willing, and she was because she didn’t realize that he wasn’t her husband until afterward. (SUPPOSEDLY.)</p>

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<p>Sounds like Chaucer.</p>

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<p>A bit of context: Philadelphia Magazine in general, and Sandy Hingston in particular, have made a career out of writing snappy articles sensationalizing events like the sun rising in the East, the Pope’s Catholic faith, and bears pooping in the woods.</p>

<p>But, yes, it’s worth remembering that:</p>

<p>(a) Due process protections do not apply to disciplinary hearings at private colleges (and may not fully apply to such hearings at public colleges), notwithstanding the practical seriousness of the punishments they can mete out. That doesn’t mean everyone gets treated badly, but some people feel they have been treated very badly. Woe is the person who faces an administrator who thinks it’s time to make a point about something.</p>

<p>(b) The world no longer automatically believes that it’s OK for a young man to have sex with a woman who is apparently willing (eager, even), but very drunk. And young women who were willing (eager, even) may experience remorse, or outside pressure, and decide that maybe they were drunker than they thought at the time.</p>

<p>I think the percentage of drunken hook-ups that turn into sexual harassment hearings is both infinitesimally small, and infinitely larger than it was a couple of decades ago.</p>

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<p>Yes - decades ago, drunken hook-ups weren’t seen as rape, just poor choices made with beer goggles that one regretted in the morning.</p>

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<p>There are no poor choices anymore, only victims.</p>

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<p>Ours is but a small part of “the world”.</p>

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<p>I bet most drunken hook-ups were never intentional so I am glad they are trying to put the brakes on this activity. We all know people do things they would never do sober. We don’t hold people accountable for contracts when they sign them drunk. </p>

<p>Guys can not be forced to have sex against their will by girls. They may not like the girl but if they are having sex with her they wanted it. It is not the same for females as we all should know. Yes sometimes it is the plan of the girl but sometimes it is not.<br>
Decades ago we didn’t have a viruse that killed us if we made a wrong choice.</p>

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<p>We didn’t have HIV/AIDS to kill us, but there certainly were diseases that made life unpleasant, and of course there was always the chance of pregnancy.</p>

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<p>Pizzagirl they may not have killed us when we were young but many cancers of the cervix and several throat cancers are caused by causal sex. It may take decades but it will catch up with people eventually. I know a guy that had throat cancer this last year and kept saying he didn’t even smoke. Of course in my little head, I am thinking yes but how about all the wild sex you had back in college that maybe just maybe you caught HPV in your throat. Of course it took everything I had in me not to say a word.</p>