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<p>That struck me also. (Although he seems to have several children, and mandatory child support can add up to a lot when that’s the case.) Plus, he gave his wife his share of their old house – which presumably would have been quite a bit of money. </p>
<p>Don’t underestimate how burdensome it is to have to pay that much twice a month, every month, year after year. For a while after my divorce was final a number of years ago, I was paying more than a third of my take home pay in alimony and child support. (Even though my ex and I each had our son approximately half the time, I’m a lawyer and my ex is a pre-K teacher, so these things happen.) After paying rent on the one-bedroom apartment I live in, and car and other transportation expenses, and other necessary bills, there really wasn’t much money left every month. Especially since as a practical matter I ended up paying about 90% of child-related expenses anyway. The amount I pay has gone down a little and my salary has gone up a little in the intervening years (although the law firm where I work has had trouble in the economy and my salary was cut by $15,000 this year), but I still have a lot to pay, and although child support will end eventually, the alimony continues until I’m 65. (To make a long story short as to why I was willing to agree to all that, after a 4+ year divorce process, to avoid trial, even though in retrospect I know perfectly well I would have ended up a lot better off financially if I’d gone to trial: people in the position I was in at the time, who have any desire for privacy, are extremely susceptible to being blackmailed with threats of public disclosure. I was being vigorously blackmailed. I was afraid. Now, I know I shouldn’t have been. At the time, settlement seemed like a good idea, and I overrode my lawyer’s advice. Yes, I was stupid. But people sometimes make stupid decisions. We’re human. And besides, my son begged me to settle, even though he knew some of what was going on; he couldn’t bear the idea of his parents having a public divorce trial.)</p>
<p>And then there’s college tuition. And substantial unreimbursed medical expenses every year.</p>
<p>At least I went back on my original (and unenforceable) oral agreement to turn over my share of our house (more blackmail), once I was represented by counsel. So I do have that – far and away my largest asset, even though I couldn’t touch it all these years – and now that our son is in college we finally sold the house; the closing is next month so I’ll be getting my share then. Unfortunately, quite a bit less than it would have been a couple of years ago.</p>
<p>But it will still make things slightly easier for me, and I can use some of the proceeds to pay off the rather substantial credit card debt I’ve managed to accumulate myself over the years.</p>
<p>In other words, it happens. Yes, he and his wife made a series of bad decisions, but I do have sympathy. Although I admit that I’ve never even considered buying a house or apartment all this time, even when the economy was great. But if I’d been in a new relationship or marriage and wanted my new spouse to be happy, who knows what I would have done? There but for the grace of God, etc.</p>
<p>And now that I’ve read this article, I admit that I’ve been having second and third thoughts about using some of the proceeds from the house sale to buy an apartment in the City. Because even if I used a good part of the money as a down payment, I’d still have to take out a mortgage, and I’m sure the mortgage payments plus maintenance and/or my share of taxes (depending on whether it was a co-op or a condo) would be more than I pay now in rent, even though part would be tax-deductible. My job isn’t exactly secure in this economy, and I’m really concerned about taking on that kind of debt. So maybe I’ll rent an apartment in the City instead. There are still some neighborhoods even I can afford. The Upper East Side, however (where I grew up and lived until i was married) is out of the question!</p>
<p>Donna</p>