<p>NYT - all the news thats printed to fit. He’s not honest, and to my eye someone who would buy a lot of stuff they could never pay for and filed for bankruptcy twice looks like they intended to defraud creditors; she’s not honest either.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the story of getting into financial trouble is rarely a clean one. It is filled with mistakes and stupid decisions. The writer seemed to have had a clean credit report before remarrying. My guess is that she carried a lot of financial debt baggage and also spent irresponsibly after the marriage on her own accounts which are what she filed bankruptcy on. With second marriages, a lot of the finances remain separate from what I have seen which is probably why she was able to file bankruptcy on her own. I don’t like to be too hard on the situation, as I know it is common.</p>
<p>When my child was in and out of hospitals for two years, I met many families who lost their homes and/or filed for bankruptcy. Illness is a major cause of finanicial ruin. However, most families were already having problems before the tipping point was reached with this major catastrophe. There were few cases indeed where the family was truly frugal and responsible but still lost it all. In fact many of us who made it through the crisis in decent financial standing made a lot of stupid financial moves during the time, even knowing how lean the budget was. I know I threw a lot of caution to the winds those days, and had a tough time paying it off when things normalized. </p>
<p>Many of us go through stretches of time when we have spent irresponsibly. However, some people just can’t seem to get it. My neighbor spent just as extravagantly when her H was not employed. It was really difficult for me to sit there while she was telling me her travails.</p>
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<p>He’s prostituted his family’s name to get out of his debt. Appearing on NPR every segment, he likely wants the outrage to bubble and fester.</p>
<p>Cpt, </p>
<p>I read her second bankruptcy filings. Yes, she was entitled to file seperate, but she did not disclose her household income – she failed to disclose her husbands. That is wrong and that is fraud. This is not keeping her fiances seperate this is lying. </p>
<p>I am sorry about your child’s illness. That was not of your making. </p>
<p>Some of us go through times when we smoke, overeat, or overspend. I dont know if many. In any event, many people take responsiblity for what we do – and dont try to make a book out of it. </p>
<p>AND THE NEW YORK TIMES – THEY SHOULD ISSUE A MAJOR ADDENDUM NEXT WEEK.</p>
<p>He just wants to sell a lot of books and that he has a well oiled, well financed PR machine helping him is clear. Wonder if this news will help or hurt book sales. Also can’t wait to see how the NYT handles it.</p>
<p>Kayf, I was bringing up the illness, because people do get into financial messes when that sort of thing hits, but many are also already on the brink and it is just a tipping point that is blamed. </p>
<p>I have a friend who married someone who had a horrible financial mess from his divorce. He did have to file bankruptcy personally a few years after the marriage because he could not get a lot of the debts resolved and did not want to involve her. There were also joint obligations that the exwife was supposed to handle that she simply did not. There had been a prior bankruptcy for him and his ex as well. Now they’ve been married several years since the bankruptcy and they are going strong financially though college costs are going to be a big issue soon, as they doubt the exwife is going to come up with what was agreed upon. </p>
<p>However, reading what the writer said about some of the spending issues, it does look like austerity is not something his wife can sustain. It is difficult to do. I know a lot of people that way. We are trying to live lean, and it is very, very difficult. When you don’t have the money or the credit, you can’t buy something, end of the situation. When you can, it’s always a struggle as to whether it is worth doing. Is this a necessity or even more difficult to assess, a splurge worth taking? Or should we stay the line? </p>
<p>Of course he wants to sell a lot of books. He clearly needs the money.</p>
<p>Cpt, I dont disagree that there are parties that end up in bankruptcy after divorce that is not there fault. Doesnt appear to be happening here. Neither the author or his new wife is complaining that former spouse is not living up to their commitments. </p>
<p>I question whether he did not mention the Bankruptcies because of legal fears – lack of disclosure etc. Of course he is free not to mention, but the article and book were materially incomplete. </p>
<p>I think more of the anger here is directed at the New York Times. I think the credibility of the Times and the publisher, W.W. Norton is seriously damaged.</p>
<p>When you dont have the money, you shouldnt buy – even if you can get credit.</p>
<p>I’m thinking she must have disclosed some financial issues. If you’re in your 50’s and remarrying, wouldn’t you have to discuss what you’re coming into the marriage with? Remember, he thought she’d bail them out through a job, not assets. If I’m marrying a well educated person in their 50’s I’m going to have lots of questions if they have few assets.No home equity from their last home? No 401K? No investment. Surely this would set off alarms.</p>
<p>It would have been virtually impossible to live in LA in the 80’s and 90’s and have no home quity unless you never bought a home (which alone says a lot for an educated family with the availability of liar loans and no down payments) or kept tapping into it.</p>
<p>Some of you said she’s unfit as a mother literally. I merely said she was unfit figuratively and I was a villain.
So extra scrutinies and ridicules are fair game as long as they aren’t weight related?</p>
<p>We just said she was unfit financially and based it on fact.</p>
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<p>I meant the question rhetorically – after all, I’m keeping up with this thread too! BUT, I say we should all boycott this book – don’t support their delusions!</p>
<p>Midd, first, thanks for starting this thread. Clearly the wife has serious financial issues, that will impact her family. Her weight, even if excessive, is mildly excessive – to me a slight overweight of a few pounds is like one late payment on a credit card. Neither will impact the persons ability to hold a job, to care for children, to provide for them to go to college. This family’s financial issues, of which the wife appears equally culpable, are more akin to weighing about 500 pounds. These issues are of a seriousness which will impact everything the family, including the children, want to do.</p>
<p>Maybe part of what aggravates me so much about these people is I went through a divorce, and I had to cut back, and the worst part was the effect on my daughter. But I am the adult, and I know that financial stability is important.</p>
<p>Now Andrews has replied to the McArdle blog post, saying that he didn’t talk about his wife’s two bankruptcies, one of them while she was married to him, because they weren’t relevant to the story. </p>
<p>Let’s review. Before she was married to Andrews, Patty Barriero borrowed tens of thousands of dollars from her sister. While still owing that money, Andrews and his soon-to-be wife bought the house they couldn’t afford, apparently not considering that before taking on new debt they should have paid back old debt. Her sister sued to get her money back, and won. Barriero went into bankruptcy to avoid paying back her sister. And this is not relevant to the story???</p>
<p>In the second bankruptcy, Barriero also discharged her debt to the lawyer who lost the case against her sister (bet he was sorry he took that case) and some medical bills, which some have alleged were for plastic surgery. If my sister ran up big plastic surgery bills and then went into bankruptcy to avoid paying the $20,000 she owed me, let’s just say she might end up needing some more plastic surgery, if you know what I mean and I think you do.</p>
<p>I’m betting that Mr. Andrew’s, in his love blind state, will not see the truth until he’s the victim.</p>
<p>How in the world could the bankruptcies not be relevant to this story? How in the world can someone with so little judgement be a reporter for the Times?</p>
<p>IMO – the wife is toxic, the husband is thinking with the part of his anatomy below his belt.</p>
<p>And I agree with not buying the book. I wont even put my name on the libary reserve list for it.</p>
<p>I think that getting this book from the library would be the appropriate response to the author: demonstrate frugality in action!</p>
<p>It’s interesting to me how angry some people are about this book. It is one story of love, sex, and financial disaster, given an interesting twist by the moral of the story: “I really should have known better” which lets the reader feel superior as he reads. </p>
<p>Publishers look for books that will generate buzz–this book has been successful at that!</p>
<p>I will likely borrow the book from the library, but I will not go on a reserve list, which where I live does encourage the library to buy (or buy more copies) of the book. I’ll just wait.</p>
<p>I think financial non-fiction books depend on the credibiltiy of the author. This isnt a novel.</p>
<p>I dont look to feel superior, I look for advice from financial books.</p>
<p>I think they should dip into the retirment accounts…better they pay taxes than our tax money bail them out.</p>
<p>Kayf: I didn’t mean to be confusing. I don’t think this <em>is</em> a financial advice book; I think it’s a financial memoir, which is probably a new category… Suze Orman is another one who writes financial memoirs…</p>
<p>You’re right, and now that we know enough about it, we know not to buy it. There will be better books about the mortgage boom and bust. And I question the integrity of the Times and the publisher. I’ld like to hear their response to the author’s comment that the bankruptcy filings, the wife stiffing her sister, etc. are not relevant to this story. My guess is they are trying to figure out how to respond without looking the self centered, narcisstic, integrity-deficient people the author and his wife are.</p>