<p>Look it up, recent studies on self-esteem show that praise can actually work inversely. </p>
<p>My siblings were always told how naturally smart they were. Things came easy to them. </p>
<p>I, on the other hand, was always praised for my hard work and diligence. Things did not come easy to me. </p>
<p>I have been successful, learned to cope with setbacks and find struggles empowering. My siblings, on the other hand, quit in the face of a challenge; when their “smarts” wouldn’t hold up, they gave up. They have not been successful.</p>
<p>I see what you’re saying but…you sure it’s as simple as that?</p>
<p>I’ve always been praised for how smart I was, and if I find a challenge, I don’t stop until I can get it. I’m also a perfectionist… and I’m successful.</p>
<p>i actually agree. my sister was always the “less academically inclined one” so she always got the praise when she succeeded. i was supposed to be the super bright one, so my parents–i guess–assumed praise wasn’t so necessary for me.
yeah, it was definetely hurtful.</p>
<p>There is definitely research supporting this idea - praising effort rather than intelligence (and criticizing lack of effort instead of lack of understanding/intelligence) are shown to be more effective methods.</p>