I’d just say, “Let’s touch base in 2026–calendar is already getting full with holidays,” and let her take the initiative in 2026. Don’t twist yourself into a pretzel. That’s the way I deal with it because I have loved ones who do this ALL THE TIME. I just put it with it a bit and then let it drop off.
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Once.
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What so you say if they want to reschedule a second time?
I would say my calendar is full until after the holidays and I can’t reschedule. If you do opt to try for a third time and she cancels yet again, it would be game over for me.
I had a friend like this. She would cancel last minute 50% of the time for no good reason. She is no longer my friend. Too disrespectful of my time.
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This particular person is someone I have “met” through a family group and may or may not be a relative! She is the one who has initiated getting together but has has to reschedule. I have offered one more time. She asked for “several” days but I offered one. I don’t have “several” to throw out. Some other people we are friends with have cancelled on us for various reasonable and not-so-reasonable reasons. One couple we are scheduled to go to the McCartney concert with in a few weeks. They scheduled and cancelled on us twice for flimsy reasons. They wanted to reschedule a third time. I just proposed that we go out before the concert. I am glad I have our tickets on my phone!
The thing I struggle with is how to diplomatically say I don’t want to tie up another time to go out if they are going to cancel.
I’m getting better at being more direct. Your time is just as valuable as hers, and every time she cancels, is a date you held open where you could be doing something else. Time is precious and limited!
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Agreed! It’s very frustrating and that is EXACTLY the issue. It’s rude and inconsiderate. I am just not sure how to diplomatically say it looks like our schedules aren’t going to mesh (maybe that’s a way to say it).
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If she cancels again or says the date I offered doesn’t work, It will probably fall off the radar, as we have a lot of travel plans in Jan and Feb and early march and then again in April/May!
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Update: She said the Dec date could work but asked if I could do this Friday. I told her I could fit in Friday if we did so more on my side of town as I have a tight schedule. Lets see if she can do that.
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Rule #1: Never, ever give a reason for why you have to cancel something. That only opens up an opportunity for the other party to judge, be offended by, or attempt to negotiate around your reason. Simply say, “I’m sorry, I have to cancel.”
If it’s DH, DS, or DIL, I’ll reschedule. Otherwise, I’ll say, “I’m sorry Friday doesn’t work for you. That’s the only opening I have for a while, but I’m sure we’ll see each other around. Maybe we can try again in the spring.”
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On one occasion, they simply said they had to cancel and then I saw on Facebook that they had attended another event. That was not OK.
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Sooo…. update on my twice rescheduled lunch. She had previously wanted me to come over to her side of town (we live about a half hour apart). She first said she didn’t think she could come closer to my side because “work might get in the way”, but then agreed that we could meet halfway between us, and gave me an almost 3 hour window and said she “didn’t want to feel rushed!” I do not have that much time to dedicate to lunch!
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I think I’d start ignoring/muting her texts. 
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I have a very good friend who was ALWAYS late for our stuff. ONe time I bought a ticket for a movie and by the time she got there it was sold out (she’d fallen asleep). For YEARS I wouldn’t go to the movies with her She’s still bad but not as bad.
I would have told her to call me with a specific date very close to the date and you’d say available or not (like you did for Friday) and then I’d pick the restaurant and the time = closer to my home! If she says 'can you do lunch on Friday" I’d say yes, but only at XXX and only at 11:30 as I have an appointment at 2 (even if not true). If that doesn’t work, I’d say “see you in January.”
When she set the time and then she had to be home 2.5 hrs later and didn’t want to feel “rushed” I decided not to tell her I have NO intention of staying that long. I’ll just have lunch at 12:30 and probably an hour or at most an hour and a half later tell her I have to go. I really do. We are hosting 12 people here Saturday and I don’t plan to lounge around at lunch with a stranger the day before. She didn’t ask me what my time constraints were- just imposed hers. Strikes me as self focused.
Thanks for all the feedback on the dental stuff. I’ve talked to some dentists/oral surgeons and they’ve said the dental insurance coverage amount has stayed the same since the 1960s! So tough luck on that advanced dental work/crowns etc.
I’ve had four crowns this year and one more slated for January. Last visit (zero coverage) was $3k. 
Glad to hear I’m not alone!
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This person is a stranger? I know you probably dont fully mean that but geez, I’m an introvert and don’t always love making dates with people i know let alone people i hardly know!
I have a friend who could make a coffee date last 4 hours. I love to see her but have learned to set my time boundaries right away - “Saturday? Sure I’ve got an hour and a half in the morning free!”
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As I mentioned upthread, we are both in a “family” group page (her last name was my grandmothers last name and we are unsure if we are related, though there are some unique names in our past that overlap and the last name is not terribly common), and we have mutual friends (another with the same last name who she is definitely related to is someone my husbands knows). She asked when we would meet in person and initiated all this. I do enjoy meeting new people, but this has been a bit of a scheduling PITA. I figured it was better to say ok for Friday and then set a time limit when we have lunch than try to say that ahead of time, lest she want to reschedule again.
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Okay, here’s my random question, because I have no idea where to start asking. I live in a state with elections coming up, and I’m getting a lot of handwritten postcards addressed to my son, urging him to vote. The thing is, he hasn’t lived or been registered to vote in this state for at least 15 years.
I feel bad for those volunteers who are spending their time on what is obviously a very outdated voter registration list. There’s a website on the postcards but it’s just for an official state site and we’ve already verified that he doesn’t have some phantom registration hanging out here.
I know I can just toss them in the recycle bin, but is there any way to let these groups know they have bad data? Since they don’t include any contact info on the postcards, probably no, but does anyone have any helpful advice?
Contact the political party in your county that he was affiliated/registered with
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