@Colorado_mom -it really depends on what you do. I paid about $3k for cremation. H did not want a service, simply a celebration of life at a restaurant in his hometown. That was additional.
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Prices for cemetery plots vary a lot. If it’s a location that has very few plots remaining, there may only be secondary market (resales), especially if it’s nearer to town. My folks, ILs and brother and other loved ones are at a cemetery very near our homes, so they get a lot of visits & visitors. My older relatives who passed before are at different cemeteries that are further away so don’t get visited nearly as often. You can check real estate listings in the area—sometimes cemetery plots are being sold as well, or call the cemetery of interest and they can tell you what’s available.
When we bought 4 plots over a decade ago, I believe we may have paid $10-15K apiece, but I honestly can’t remember. Spaces for cremations is less expensive. Spreading ashes at sea is even less expensive and can arranged. It really depends on what folks want. In some ways, it is nice to have a physical place to reminisce about the deceased—bonus points if its convenient to survivors/loved ones.
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When we talked with our Rabbi about end of life planning, i asked about his thoughts on cremation. He’s definitely a burial preference guy, and said how sad it was that many people just couldn’t afford a traditional burial and went to cremation as the only affordable option.
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Thanks for the info above. If one purchases a cemetary plot, is it typically a “done deal”? Or are there annual upkeep fees?
There was a “perpetual care” fee that we paid when the plots were purchased.
My dad wanted to be buried, and my mom cremated. The cremation was a small fraction of the cost but she wanted her ashes spread in different areas so probably the same cost after you factored in our travel but we were happy to do it!
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It probably depends on the cemetery. Our public cemeteries do not have upkeep fees.
Something I learned while in Germany. There, you rent/lease plots, typically for 10-20 years at a time. After a few generations, if nobody wants to keep paying the fees, the bones are dug up and the plot given to someone else. The bones are moved to a generic boneyard!
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It so varies by what you want. My public library is having an event on Green Burials soon. I think DH and I might be interested in that so we just go back to the soil without all the embalming chemicals. There are several green burial cemeteries (not sure if they call them that) around us. There is also a place that does aquamation, which is what Bishop Desmond Tutu had done I believe.
My family of origin has been an embalming and traditional burial family and my parents had their plots picked out in the '70s. When they died everything was already taken care of except we had to change the caskets they had picked out because those models were no longer being made, but we just went with what was closest.
My husband’s family does cremation. I honestly do not care that much what my kids do with me assuming they outlive me, but I would lean toward a more environmentally friendly process. I do want to at some point plan it out because that made it so much easier when my parents died. I just don’t think my kids would have any idea what to do without some guidance from us from beyond the grave, so to speak.
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My MIL just passed this summer. Simple cremation ran about $5,500. Scattered ashed in London at a memorial garden - that ran about $500.
Did a church service with a small reception to follow - another $2,000.
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I’m replying to my own post regarding whole-house humidifiers because the second guy who came to the house today had a totally different perspective.
Sure, it can be done. Your basement is the perfect place to put all the equipment. We’ll put a vent here and another one there, and put the control right there. You’ll have to be careful; if you see condensation on the windows, you’re overhumidifying, and that means that there’s also going to be moisture in the walls.
He’ll get back to us with an estimate later today.
Goodness. What a difference!
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So do you need a third opinion to see which of the first two may be off???
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We’ve had two family funerals in the last 6 months. Funeral home costs were about 11k which included a decent but not over the top casket, service at the church and then burial. Then the plots were $2400 each which includes perpetual care, and $2400 for opening the grave during a weekday. The biggest shock for me was the cost of the headstone. It’s nothing big or fancy - just basic information and engraving. Final cost after installation was $6500. Obviously prices will vary depending on location- this was a west Chicago location.
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For my SisIL, BIL bought a casket from Costco and had her body shipped in it from CA, making arrangements between SF&Hnl mortuaries. Funerals around here usually also include a meal after the service, which is an additional cost but a nice time to visit & reminisce.
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No. We’re going to go with the guy who came today. They installed our CAC when we moved into the house, others who I know use them, and they’re very reputable. Their estimate was, I thought, reasonable – $2,780 for the whole shebang.
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Do any of you use one of those chicken shredder thingies? Recommendation?
They can be very cheap to very expensive.
My father died in a Lutheran hospital with a Jewish chaplain and we were trying to arrange a service in his catholic church but he’d be buried in a public cemetery in another state. The hospital was in one county, he lived in another, and had re-entered the hospital from a third (where he’d been in a rehab hospital for about 8 hours). All very complicated.
The chaplain set us up with a great funeral director who arranged the cremation for a minimal amount, all the paperwork, death certificates etc. We asked him to be at the church and he said we didn’t need him and it would cost $1000 if he showed up because that amount is set by the funeral industry and he was required to charge it. For the cremation and certificates, I think it was $700. For the church we had to pay for the organist and singer (about $250?) and give a donation to the priest. We also paid for a small reception at the church. We also already owned (since the 1800s) the cemetery plot and only had to pay to open the grave, but my mother’s cousin has worked for the town for about 2 million years, so of course he had a connection and he paid for it; otherwise I think it is about $1000. Someone also paid for his name to be added to the headstone.
When my mother died 4 years later, I couldn’t find that funeral guy and I think he’d retired during Covid. I found another funeral place to do the cremation and it was even cheaper (about $500). We did the same set up at the church, same holy cards and flowers, same burial at the same cemetery. Much smaller turn out.
If you go to a big funeral home, the cremation can be $5000 or more. A casket can be $2000 to $10,000. The funeral set up can be $10,000 or more. I have no idea how much a cemetery plat costs as we can just use our family plot if we want and now that we are doing cremations there is no limit to the number of people who can be buried there. You can also pay to be buried in a cemetery without a dedicate plot or headstone. Our plot is beautiful because we are in the ‘old’ part of the cemetery with mature trees and the town founders as neighbors, but I doubt if any of us with join our ancestors because we have no relatives left in that town.
Yes, I think your husband will have sticker shock if he wants a funeral director to do it all. If you are willing to ‘DYI’ and find the places that will do just the cremation, just the flowers, order the holy cards, use a family church, then it can be much cheaper. I think my mother actually enjoyed arranging my father’s funeral herself as it gave her something to do. She liked picking the flowers and the holy cards, picking the music and readings. She said she wanted the same thing so 4 years later I just copied everything as much as I could.
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Sadly I lost my husband over Thanksgiving so have just faced these decisions. He was in hospice at the end so we had a little time to think about which funeral home to use. I’m very grateful my son took on the job of calling around to discuss options and costs. What I have learned is it is quite worthwhile to call several funeral homes as the prices vary greatly. DH had already expressed a wish for cremation with no formal funeral service. We planned a very nice gathering of our close friends and family that was held at a relative’s house. So all we needed from the funeral home was a direct cremation and a place to post his obituary. Prices varied from $1000 to $4000 for the exact same services. And only one funeral home could handle everything themselves; all the others contracted out for the actual cremation. We chose the small, family owned business who was able to do everything themselves which happened to be the least expensive. They were wonderful to deal with and treated me very well. I appreciated that they never once tried to add on any extra services or products during such a vulnerable time.
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I’m so sorry for your loss!
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I’m so sorry for your loss @GRITS80.
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Just adding my condolences. I am so sorry for your loss.
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So sorry for your loss.
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