<p>Mrs. Turbo likes to pick her battles early and often. That could explain why she has had more employers than Elizabeth Taylor has had husbands in her career. Me, unless there’s a fire in the building and I have to argue with the boss that waiting for ClearCase to check in my files before evacuating is a bad policy, I’ll keep quiet. I’ve had a single employer for nearly three decades and could get away with most anything. We make about the same but she works considerably harder / longer than I do (Elbonian vs Asian work hours and all that :))</p>
<p>We have the same education (multiple graduate degrees) and years of experience and are in similar fields. I’m also considerably happier with my work and feel that I’m considerably more secure with my company. Both our employment has been with large multinational companies. </p>
<p>Moral of the story. Unless the issue is catastrophic for the company, like a regulatory / SEC / someone is about to get electrocuted don’t bother speaking up. Things will rarely change unless the consequences are pretty bad… If the issue is catastrophic for your career, make a plan for exit, stage left, and leave it at that. To expect that HR or management will do anything is about as close to believing in the Easter Bunny as it gets.</p>
<p>In smaller companies - I would not know - things are likely different…</p>
<p>Op, I asked about the age of posters because younger people tend to have very different (ie inexperienced) views on this than older/parent posters. As you can see from many of the responses, one primary piece of advice is that you have to pick your battles. This is true at work, in marriage, and in parenting. </p>
<p>To me, the “real world” is that time and place when you become responsible for caring for yourself. You have to pay your own rent, buy your food and prepare it, do your own laundry (or at least get it to the cleaner yourself) and so on. When that is true, you may think long and hard about rocking the boat at work about something seen as minor when the risk is that you could lose your job or jeapordize future advancement.</p>
<p>Likewise in marriage and parenting, you have to weigh each situation. Go and ask your parents how many times they let you do something while they bit their tongues ;)</p>
<p>The most difficult thing is deciding when something truly has to be stood up to and then having the courage to do so.</p>
<p>Grandma Turbo was like this also. She uncovered a pretty good sized corruption scheme back in the old country. Instead of keeping quiet she proceeded to blow the whistle and got canned after 27 years. A revolution or two later (i.e. a couple years) she sued the Elbonian government, won, and was reinstated. Did she feel better? yes. Did it do any good? nope. The corrupt apparatchiks lost nothing in the process and continued their careers unabated. </p>
<p>Maybe I’m stereotyping here but it seems to me - from my experience - that women have more problems (in the sense that they’re quicker to express them) with their workplace than men, regardless of industry, country, company, and so on. I can’t help but wonder if men have the ‘Me Go Hunt Big Willy Mammoth, Me Have No Choice Because Have To Feed Clan’ gene versus women who have the ‘Me Go Gather Root and Berry from Forest OMG This Berry Awful Try Berry In Next Forest And Complain To Village Chief The Idiot Pick This Place’ gene… Two different approaches to essentially the same issue. </p>
<p>It all boils down to how much choice you have. I don’t see having much of a choice where I work. I’m not going to quit after 28 years and while I’m current in my field, I have no interest in working for someone half my age. My wife has the choice and exercises it on a regular basis. I do not get frustrated because the big picture is the same no matter what. Mammoth meat tastes the same especially after one has spent a week stalking the beast. Berries are a different story, and the question whether the berries in the next forest over taste better is stirring the pot. </p>
<p>Start thinking about the ‘big picture’ of your career and keep that in mind at all times. </p>
<p>No offense meant to any Hunters or Gatherers out there :)</p>
<p>Yep to the prior posts. I personally have a tendency to get upset with things at work, really bent out of shape, want to quit in frustration, but have learned that that is the reaction of the moment, if I quit every time I felt like that I would be getting a new job once a month:). </p>
<p>The old serenity prayer is very true, grant me the wisdom to change the things I can, and the strength to deal with those things I can’t. I have been managing people a lot of years (still hands on tech, but manager as well), and there are things I fight for, I fight for my people, when they have shown me the loyalty and dedication they have, I will fight for them, but I don’t fight over bs either. If someone writes an idiotic e-mail blaming something on my group that isn’t fair, I won’t respond and get ****y, I point people to information that will lead them to understand the root causes. I constantly play up what my people are doing,the creativity they use in ridiculous situations, having to get things done with no time because we had to wait for others to finish their portion, and I make clear what is going on. If I think the way things are being done isn’t going to work, I work quietly, behind the scenes, to try and make people understand it isn’t going to work, and why, and offer alternatives, and if they dont listen to me, they can’t fault me for trying, and I then do everything I can to try and make it work. </p>
<p>If you fight every fight at work or in life, your arms get mighty tired and people get tired of you, if you pick the important things, even if you don’t win, you get at least grudging respect. Friends of mine who are LGBT talk about being out, and that responding or fighting everyone who is nasty to them or getting bothered by it is a losing proposition, that it is better to cultivate those who respect you as a person or those willing to listen, rather then trying to fight the idiots who never will learn. That old aunt who is an Orthodox Catholic is probably a lost cause, the young nephew who simply doesn’t know any better is probably worth it.</p>
<p>Another thing to consider in “the real world” - as you get older, I find things are not so black and white, and there’s a lot more gray. Not saying there isn’t right and wrong, but absolutes are more complicated. And you realize you don’t always know as much as you think you do.</p>
<p>Let put it this way, when a lady goes to a clothing store and looks for a dress, that is the real world. At that time, the buyer is the boss and the store inventory plus sales person are the “employees”. The lady has the full authority to pick and choose and it is the sales lady and store’s inventory to keep buyer’s interest. If the lady buys from the store, it is a victory of the store and sales person, or in an office situation, the employee got the promotion. Otherwise, the promotion is denied. </p>
<p>In a real world, life goes on just like in a retail outlet, if the customer, or the boss, likes what you presented, its your victory, otherwise, its your failure. The real world is all about decisions, decisions and more decisions.</p>
<p>In the “real world”, being able to interact with people of various ages in situations where age relationship does not necessarily follow from your relationship with the other person (i.e. it is not necessarily true that your supervisor at work will be older than you are) can be necessary.</p>
<p>In the “real world”, it IS important at times to speak up for yourself. It’s also important at times to stay silent. At times it’s important to listen quietly and measure your words carefully. It’s always important to consider what MIGHT happen - cause and effect, and “make level paths for your feet”. It is important to be kind, and it is important to always do the right thing - even when it’s dificult. It’s imporant to THINK - to REALLY THINK, and not always charge ahead. To accept delayed gratification when it’s appropriate. And it’s important to be bold and courageous once your decisions are made. </p>
<p>Sooooooo, it’s kind of hard to put a blanket statement out there, “One should always stand up for oneself and speak out emphatically when they’re wronged.” </p>
<p>It may not always be so. You could win the battle, and lose the war…there’s a saying about living to fight another day. If you make the wrong enemy, you can lose a job, not just a promotion.</p>
<p>The real world is not for the weak, and it’s not for the wreckless either.</p>
<p>I should have qualified my rather flammable statement… I have no problem with younger supervisors, but I do have a serious problem with supervisors of any age that are not in tune with their underlings and their unique personal situations. In the tech world they tend to be younger so…</p>
<p>In fact I’ve turned down interview requests from a number of ‘prestige’ companies in the west coast largely because I’m not interested in working Death March hours for the glory of working in such ‘prestige’ firms. </p>
<p>Having to explain to a former supervisor (and father of six children) that women really prefer their husbands to drive them to the OBGYN when they’re 8.75 months pregnant was difficult enough :)</p>