<p>I had a very difficult week this week - somehow my daughter managed to allow the two top universities of her choice keep open her file. She flip-flopped so much and could not make up her mind - then she asked us to decide - we finally did - after much probing and prodding: we tried to take into account her personality, area of interest, what she told us she wanted - and after we had her write her recision - she is upset and says she just doesn’t care anymore. Wow. Did I ever mismanage this process! She has always made her own decisions and wouldn’t let us help her until the 11th hour. Any advice? This too shall pass?</p>
<p>Having taught seniors for many years it’s been my observation that this can be a very difficult time of year for them. Just when everything is supposed to be falling into place they all of a sudden get scared to death. High school is about to be over and they are going to be leaving the comfortable surroundings of friends and family. Don’t misunderstand me, they are excited by the prospect but at the same time the whole idea scares the daylights out of them. It can be almost traumatic to make that godawful leap from “Who’s Who” to “Who’s That?” The problem is that a lot of these kids can’t/won’t express their fears because they think they are the only ones in their peer group who feel this way. </p>
<p>I may be completely wrong, but I think there is a strong possibility that your daughter is going through something very close to this.</p>
<p>I don’t think families realize how difficult the choosing process can be until they all go through it. This too will pass.</p>
<p>It’s something that all seniors are going through right now. I’m doing the same with my mother when she pushed one college over another until I finally gave in. It hurts to have someone else make the decision you’re supposed to make and be excited about. Give her some time and space. She’ll come around.</p>
<p>I think your mistake was agreeing to make HER choice.</p>
<p>I’m both in Real Estate and Placement of Information Tech people and I’m always having to deal with people making major decisions on jobs and houses. I always tell them the same thing: go with your gut instinct. Even if you’re overthinking, your gut will know inside what’s right for you. The other aspect is that if both schools were that hard to choose from, they’re probably both great and she would do well with either.</p>
<p>What is the current status? Has she actually sent in her recision to one place, or can she still choose?</p>
<p>I will ask my Ds, what do you want for dinner, I hear back, I don’t know, i don’t care, you decide…so I decide…</p>
<p>Gee, I didn’t want spaghetti!!</p>
<p>Well, help me here, what did you want?</p>
<p>I DON"T KNOW!!!</p>
<p>So the college thing, whole bigger enchilda</p>
<p>Keep the status quo, she asked to pick, you followed her wishes, and she is mad. You probably shouldn’t have picked for her, but water under the bridge.</p>
<p>here is what I would do…give her two envelopes, two checks, stamps, and notes cards or whatever, here are the phone numbers, go for it…</p>
<p>Say we parents are done, she still has an opportunity to switch, maybe, and if she really wants to it is up to her. She has made this all your fault, her indecision, and let her know that gently</p>
<p>By the end of August, if things go well, you’ll absolutely hate each other. A month later, things will be just fine. ;)</p>