THE rockstar kid at my son's school just committed to a local directional

Parents Forum
41

Ummm, no, most people do not say that.

However, without any indication of what the actual schools in question are, and what the student’s academic and professional interests are, there is insufficient information for anyone to say whether the decision was a good or bad one. About the only real conclusion one can make from the scenario described (parents spent all the college money on the older son’s full pay college, leaving none for the daughter) is that the parents’ college cost planning was either badly done, or was made to favor the older son over the daughter.

42

Why don’t people just take out loans or something? Wouldn’t going to a better college help you in a long run even if you build up a lot of debt from loans?

43

@Archlion

This kid is a full pay student. This means that she could have minimally $100,000 in loans after four years of undergrad…and that is assuming $25,000 a year as an instate student at a public university.

The student can’t take that amount of loans. Her parents would need to be willing to do so…or,cosign them.

You know…some folks would prefer to graduate from college debt free after undergrad school. Maybe they have grad or professional school plans and would prefer to use loans only for those expenses.

44

@WalknOnEggShells My perception on CC regarding selectivity and prestige has been just the opposite of yours. In my experience, prestige and selectivity is quite desirable here. In fact, more posters feel the need to justify why they didn’t choose a selective school, than why they did. IMO .

45

I think it’s interesting insofar as it is another indicator that people are looking more at more at the cost of college, and minimizing the $$ for an UG degree as much as possible. That’s a good thing imho.

Otherwise I agree with others; it’s hard to know what their exact situation or plan is. They may have very good reasons for going that direction.

46

"
People prefer certain schools over others for all kinds of reasons, but for some reason, it’s a crime around here if you value selectivity or prestige in any way at all. "

You have got to be kidding, or else you are new around these parts.

Anyway, there’s a critical distinction you’re missing. I value selectivity / prestige for my OWN kids (who are recent grads of a top 20 uni and top 10 LAC), and was happy to pay the big bucks for it. However, I really could not care less what other families do or where their “rockstar” high school classmates wound up.

Other people’s money is not mine to spend, other people’s situations can and will include nuances I have no knowledge of. You simply don’t know. Maybe there’s an unexpected health issue, or grandma doesn’t have long to live so kid wants to be nearby, or the family money was taken by Bernie Madoff. You simply don’t know.

One of my closest friends passed away 3 years ago; her daughter was a hs junior at the time. She’s now a soph at a (gasp) directional. Maybe in light of seeing her mother suffer from a horrible untreatable cancer for 9 months, and maybe in the desire to be nearby to help her father care for her special-needs brother, she decided to cut herself a break and that the meaning of life wasn’t an elite school. Imagine that.

47

Why do you care? Why do we care? You don’t have all the information, we don’t have all the information. It really doesn’t matter. People can make there own decisions without moms on the internet making threads about it. I’m sure she will be one of the most high achieving students at the school and still have a lot of opportunities for jobs and graduate school.

48

Ummm, you’re probably right that it’s not most. But it feels that way in the threads I’ve been in. It’s probably more the extremeness of the reactions than the sheer numbers of people.

49

You’re probably right. I think it’s just in the limited exchanges I’ve had on here. And maybe some of the people I’ve interacted with are just overreacting to the overall prestige worship on here.

But I think there’s a segment of the population on here and out in the real world that takes it to the extreme the other way - to the point where they’re depriving kids of a better education, to prove some kind of point that they’re above prestige.

That’s what disturbs me, to the point that I’m worried about some anonymous kid in a post on CC :slight_smile:

50

Who are you to suggest that a better match exists?

+1. We all have unique ambitions, interests, and preferences. It’s silly to think that every top student wants to attend an elite school… It’s like saying every upper-middle class person wants to drive a Lexus, BMW, Audi, or Mercedes.

51

OK, so you sent your kids to elite schools, but if someone else mentions that it’s surprising that a kid didn’t shoot higher than a directional State college, then that person is obsessing about elite schools??? And they should MYOB? Again, the OP didn’t say anything about budding into the situation. This is a forum. People express their opinion about things. How MYOB makes it into a forum discussion is kind of comical to me.

Of course, there can be all kinds of good reasons for choosing the local school. The OP didn’t say that there are no circumstances under which it would make sense. I think NPRfan was just saying that it’s unusual, and that in most normal circumstances, it would make sense for the kid to shoot higher, unless there’s a specific program or reason for choosing the local school.

52

I was so busy responding to all of the people with the doomsday scenarios, that I forgot to respond to your post, @maya54. I’m not the OP, but I think this is certainly possible in the situation the OP described. Who knows, it’s possible the local school would have been the better option for the student you knew, but I bet the student is glad the counselor didn’t mind his own business, and at least explained the available options.

53

@Pizzagirl No one is obsessing over elite schools. No one said that this student had to attend an elite school. But she should at least decide to attend a well-respected mid-major school. Not some low-level commuter public U that accepts pretty much anyone with a pulse and has half of all students drop out.

This student is most certainly above the school she will be attending.

54

I know, a suggestion, on a public forum, where everyone is anonymous and sharing opinions. The nerve, the gall. I think we should shut this place down. It’s out of control.

55

I remember reading a thread from a student that just entered grad school after attending a Directional U. I wish I could find it now.

Disclaimer: I, as much as I’d like to convince myself otherwise, will probably attend my local Directional State U in two years.

First, a little background information (and bragging): I currently have a 4.0 UW GPA with 4 AP classes completed, 4 scheduled this year, and 4 AP/DE classes scheduled next year (though I am still nowhere near rank one—darn band and stagecraft bringing down my GPA :wink: ). I haven’t taken the SAT yet, but my PSAT scores from freshman and sophomore years were just below National Merit qualification. My EC’s are decent, but nothing compared to the amazing things that my classmates have accomplished.

I pretty much gave up on HYPSM at the end of my sophomore year when only three people from my high-acheiving school got in—and they had significant national awards, which I could never match. Last summer I created a rough college list that caps at URochester in terms of selectivity, and included several colleges that my friends have never heard of.

Then my mom lost her job. Again. Last time this happened was during the recession (we moved right before the bubble collapsed and took out a huge mortgage…unlucky) and it took her two years to find another job. Needless to say, my parent’s bank accounts are still recovering from the hit. Not to mention that it’s hard to find work when you’re almost 60.

It’s hard as a teenager to see your parents closing in on “retirement age” and still have 22 years on their mortgage. Maybe it’s ok, like my parents always say whenever I try to ask them about it. I don’t know much about finance.

But what I do know is that I’ll likely have no money for college. Our current income is just above federal reduced-lunch guidelines with unemployment, and will rise when I get a job (which will happen soon, hopefully). This basically means that I can’t go out of state unless I get a very large merit award or do get into a full need school, since I highly doubt that I would be a good candidate for Questbridge and the like. Even if I do cover tuition, there’s room and board and flights and food and books and shampoo and toothpaste and all those “little” things that I worry about because how can we pay for those if my parents don’t pay for trash collection and have debated the risks of driving without insurance because it’s one extra thing that we could cut out?

I am lucky because I have a Directional U in my city. One that I can commute to, which saves the cost of living in a dorm (no roommate, too). And I’m lucky because that Directional U has a designated 5-year B.S/M.S in my planned major. And I’m lucky because my city is rife with internship opportunities in my prospective field, many partnered with Directional U. And even if I end up not completing the Masters, I’ll still have a great degree that will open doors for me. Maybe not as many doors as one from Stanford or MIT or Caltech. But certainly enough doors so that I will most likely lead a comfortable and happy life.

Yes, I still dream of Stanford and Swat and Brown and Bowdoin and such. And I’ll still apply to some, on the off chance that the financial aid fairy bops me on the head and comes up with $60,000. Maybe the girl that OP is referring to dreams about HYPSM too. But the girl and her family seem to have found a solution to their problems. And as long as she is happy and thriving there, she will most definitely rise to the top.

56

Not every school is created equal. We have all discussed it to death here at one point or another. At higher caliber schools, the same course are taught more in depth, faster pace, and class discussions can be more interesting. If it wasn’t the case then many of us wouldn’t be wasting 60K+ a year to send our kids there. Many posters here who are saying directional commuter schools are just as good are the ones who have spent 60k+ a year for their own kids.

I am also surprised this rock star kid would have committed and settled at a directional school. Someone of her caliber could have gotten full ride at many higher ranking schools. There are many schools between state directional school and Harvard. I suspect this young woman is not getting very good counseling, and that’s a shame.

My kid got a full tuition merit scholarship at her safety school without even applying for it. We turned it down because I felt she could get a better education at a top 20 school school. The education has served my kid well. I always encourage students to go to the best schools they could get into/afford. Being a big fish at a small pond just makes one complacent.

57

It is completely normal to be surprised over such a decision or curious as to the why’s. It doesn’t mean you are a snob or trying to run someone’s life or spend their families money.
The possibilities for the reasons why are to numerous to mention. It is very clear that it is she and her family’s decision to make. In the absence of additional information I personally find it illogical. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t a very legitimate reason for this decision.

58

This kid is an academic rock star.

Why can’t we assume that, as such, she’s smart enough to do her homework and find the school that’s right for her?

59

I have a problem with the DAUGHTER going to the directional while the SON goes to the flagship. . . and although there are some very good programs at some directions, as a prof at a flagship, I have seen smart students bored out of their minds while I attend to the needs of those in the middle or the bottom of the class. I imagine it is even harder to attend to the needs of very smart students as one does drop out prevention.

Honors programs help, but honors students still take some classes with regular admits.

60

I think her GC and her friends (clearly not her parents) should advise her to send in few more applications. I wouldn’t be surprised if she is able to get full ride at some better academic fit schools.