I would be loathe to let MY “academic rockstar” kid commit to our local directionals unless there were extenuating circumstances, but plenty of families don’t value an elite education as much as we do.
I’d be loathe to schlep my kid all over for sports competitions, but plenty of families spend their weekends in the car doing just that. I guess as I get older, it’s harder for me to work up outrage.
So, it’s about letting your child make their own college decision?
I’d let them make their own decisions, the whole time advising that they should have all their information in hand before committing to something as important as that.
We have no idea whether this kiddo has additional applications pending…or not. All we have is an OP whose chin was on the floor when she heard this news…and second hand information about the student’s actual stats.
It’s not yet December 1. There could be applications pending for the RD round. There is time to send additional applications if they so desire. And there is the possibility that there are reasons the OP doesn’t know that make this a good choice.
We don’t know. All speculation.
I think there is a big difference between sports and education. Not all parents value education, but we all know good education offers many more options for our kids, especially for our daughters.
It is just another abstract prestige war thread. In the absence of any meaningful information, like the actual school choices involved and the student’s intended academic and post-graduation interests, any declaration that the choice was the best one or not has a significant chance of being inaccurate for the actual situation.
Now, that the parents spent their entire college budget on the first kid and left none for the second kid is what is probably much more concerning.
Why is adjuncts in quotes?
ETA: Surprisingly enough the FT “faculty” also vary WIDELY in their teaching skill, interest, and availability.
Not really surprising, there is a lot of demand for those lower level students who still think they want to attend college someplace. It’s all about supply and demand.
@oldfort I don’t recall any posters saying that this was the best choice for the student, what I do recall reading from several posters is that there may be reasons that child and her parents have made that decision . To answer your question regarding being responsible enough to weigh the options or let them make their own decisions , I would assist my child in looking at all their options to make an informed decision , not because I’m concerned about being judged by neighbors, classmates or a bunch of strangers on an online college forum, but because that is what’s best for my family. I don’t recall anywhere in the original post saying that the child made her own decision, that there was no discussion within her family, or that she hasn’t looked at other options. Again, my point is there is not enough information provided, only perception and speculation, and that to form an opinion regarding the student or her family is unfair.
Oh, the horror! Regular admits?? AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
One thing that is always missing from these discussions is relative success. Harvard is obviously a great school, and will certainly prepare a student for virtually any job on the planet. The question is, how is that relevant to this particular student? What if her ultimate goal is to have a job that she enjoys, and live an upper-middle class lifestyle? Are we saying that only an elite school will allow her to accomplish this goal?
My daughter has been offered a half-tuition scholarship at a regional/directional public - and she also was eligible to apply for a more competitive scholarship for even more $.
This is a school where the admissions standards are lower. She’d be in the Honors college…
Husband and I discussed it, and we’re fine with her choosing this school over others, although we’ve stressed to her we can afford the other schools with no problem, and the choice is hers.
The Honors college is what makes the difference, imo. If she were not offered the money and Honors opportunity, I’d probably actively advocate her to the others, where there would be more of her academic peers…
But saving money opens up some doors, as well, in my thinking - grad school, and having no loans to worry about allows one freedom in choosing jobs later… and affords more time to find said jobs.
Finances weren’t an issue with us, my kid just loved this campus when she visited, and she met a few other kids in the Honors College and liked them. And she knew she might get merit aid… She is the one who’s being really frugal, not us, lol. She’s just kind of a cheapskate, for instance she buys all of her clothes at thrift and used stores, and hoards all of her allowance money… So it’s not always the parents’ decision…
However, I understand that for some families, finances play a huge part in the college decision. One of my D’s friends, a year older than her, recently accepted a full ride to state directional for nursing school. She told everyone, no matter where she went to school, she was going to be a nurse in the end, so… why not take the full ride?
She has two younger siblings as well, so I’m sure that was a factor, too.
Sometimes, people just do the best they can. Perhaps the brother couldn’t get any scholarships and the only way for him to be able to dorm at a college was for the sister to get a full ride somewhere. There are a lot of bright kids commuting to our local SUNY because their families just don’t have the ~$20k/year to cover the gap between merit awards and the full COA it takes to dorm at other colleges. Some of them are starting at the local community college because it will save the families ~$10k/kid. That may not seem like much to the regular posters on CC, but to a lot of families that’s a respectable amount of money. It doesn’t mean they don’t value education. It doesn’t mean their kids wouldn’t love the opportunity to dorm and have that college experience. Unfortunately, we don’t always get things just because we want them.
I was a high IQ student who tested very well, but my (nine year) path to a college degree included community college, a public college, and two private universities. I met a lot of intelligent, insightful people everywhere I went and I made an effort to learn something from all of them. Some people tested well and others didn’t. None of that was any of my business. My goal was to get the college education my father wanted but couldn’t afford for himself. My goal for my children is get a college education without having to work their way through like I did. My husband and I can’t afford elite schools, so we’ll do the best we can with what we have available to us.
Several members of the last 2 generations of my husband’s immediate family are either dyslexic, dysgraphic, dyscalculic, or a combination of all of the above. Those that are college age have similar standardized test scores. However, two are attending expensive privates with your kids while one commutes to the local state school. Why? Because two of them have parents who can write yearly $40-60k checks (per kid). Money, more than test scores and families’ opinions about the value of education, are what separates those who have the opportunity to attend elite schools from those who don’t.
“Oh, the horror! Regular admits?? AHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Lol. Same thing we heard when the school district began merging gifted students into schools with “gen ed” kids. Not in the same classes, mind you, just the same buildings. You’d have thought the plan was to stop educating them at all.
This and other threads baffle me. Unless the PARENTS of the kid in the op have spelled out what’s going on, no one has a clue as to why. We don’t KNOW why the son is getting full pay and the daughter taking a full ride at a (gasp, shock, horror) directional. There was no indication that the OP knows that it’s because the second child is a girl, or if they didn’t save enough, or one parent was sick or unemployed. Maybe the rock star is like my D and DID actually do her homework and knows that the (no good, terrible, very bad) directional has a good program for her intended career, like the recent WA “Teacher of the Year” who got her degree from a directional, or the Ph.D physical therapist clinic-owning 30 yo friend of ours who started at a directional. Good lord, people, these aren’t kids who drool and shuffle-they ARE HS grads pursuing higher education.
The top three “rock stars” from last year’s graduating class at D’s HS stayed in-state. Two are at a flagship-one got into a “top 10” school but didn’t quite get the need-based aid to afford to go, the other stayed local because he was one of the 95% who DIDN’T get into a lottery school. Oh, and because it allows him to continue the research he started with a local facility as in intern. The third is at a directional. She won’t graduate because her intent is to transfer, but as a first-gen, low-income kid, she wanted to start college closer to home. What a slacker.
It never fails to surprise me on this forum that there are people who really, truly believe that if you attend a directional or “lower” school that your life is over, that you will have no success in life and be undereducated, bored and never hit your potential. That is not what I’ve seen at all over the years. Not everyone is looking to be a mover and shaker. There are bright people in many professions and even staying at home with kids. They’re happy with their lives. What is that a tragedy to some of you?
ETA: We just sent in a deposit to a “lower” school for our D because it gives her a leg up on housing while we wait on merit awards. It’s not a directional, but some of you would have the same “jaw dropping” reaction if she chose it. But it’s actually only OUR business and we’re good with it.
@carolinamom - of course we don’t have enough information here as to why someone should make such decision. We can only guess and assume the circumstance. I am going by the fact that OP didn’t mention any special circumstance about this student other than financial (maybe). If this all seemed normal, OP wouldn’t be so surprised. I don’t know why people are telling her there is no reason to be surprised. No different than when a gorgeous tall woman marry a short, fat guy. It could be for brilliant mind, but most likely not.
If you were a betting person, where would you place your bet? I think it is a great aspiration to live an upper middle class lifestyle, but how many people do achieve that?
“Some of them are starting at the local community college because it will save the families ~$10k/kid. That may not seem like much to the regular posters on CC, but to a lot of families that’s a respectable amount of money. It doesn’t mean they don’t value education. It doesn’t mean their kids wouldn’t love the opportunity to dorm and have that college experience. Unfortunately, we don’t always get things just because we want them.”
That’s exactly it. It is not uncommon in my area for families esp those who have a few kids close in age and/or who had some kind of downfall economically (parent lost a job, etc) to send their kids to the local comm college then after 2 years transfer to U of Illinois. They’ll have a perfectly reputable U of I degree in the end and save beaucoup bucks. I’m glad I could offer my kids different options, but I can’t say I can fault people for doing this.
H and I also had a tremendously high capacity for “sacrifice” to build up our children’s college funds. (I don’t mean to imply we went hungry, but we scrimped in ways other families don’t.) but we also had the fortune of no student loans ourselves, good health and good careers. Not everyone does.
Bottom line is you NEVER know anyone’s financial situation unless you’re their accountant, and maybe these people are in financial straits or have unexpected expenses or circumstances that they don’t feel like sharing with the neighbors to “explain” why Janie is going to Directional State U. I for one would not feel compelled to “explain” or disclose my family’s finances, health, or other issues to nosy classmates’ parents. I’d say - let them think what they want.
Many health professionals attend “directional” schools because that is where the limited number of accredited programs are located. I personally know quite a few that live an upper middle class lifestyle and are happy with their decision , but then again, who am I to judge.
“Now, that the parents spent their entire college budget on the first kid and left none for the second kid is what is probably much more concerning.”
You have no idea. Maybe they now have to support an elderly relative in a nursing home. Maybe someone has health issues which are invisible to outsiders but cost a lot. Maybe someone’s small business has suffered a downturn. Maybe they lost a lawsuit. The whole concept that suburban neighbors are supposed to “know” all this stuff about one another sets my teeth on edge.
I live in a “nice” high end neighborhood. The couple across the street from me - he sells refrigerators at Sears (no joke - he sold us ours in our previous house). How can he afford to live here, as I can’t imagine a Sears salesman salary is sufficient to live in this area? Beats me. Maybe he inherited a lot of money. Maybe he has a trust fund. Maybe he made a killing in the stock market years ago. Maybe his wife makes a fortune. It’s just not my business and nothing I’m entitled to an explanation over.
"I think it is a great aspiration to live an upper middle class lifestyle, but how many people do achieve that? "
I know lots of people living such lifestyles. Most of them went to state schools, some of them were directionals. A few never even graduated! How did they manage to do this??
Exactly. The suggestion in this thread that those whose kids attend lower ranked schools do not value education is pure opinion. Providing our kids with the best education we can is a top priority for our family, and it starts as soon as they are born. But, college choices are limited by financial factors. A whole lot of kids fit the same scenario.
I had no idea one could do this! Thanks, @thumper1!
Sorry to stray off-topic… carry on.
The point is this student should have options. This is not a B or C student. There are plenty of schools that would give this student a full ride, the question is if this student is aware all of her options.