<p>Have you ever heard the term “senioritus”? Can be deadly. Even top students fall prey to it. </p>
<p>But it’s never really over for most parents. My son had his first car accident after he turned 21 and I exhaled. I have one who was nearly kicked out of high school senior year last semester. I have one who went steadily downhill in college after making it over the “hump”. You just never know with kids.</p>
<p>Some kids do fine after that senior slump and manage to get to college and get their second wind. Others go into a downward decline that can get them kicked out of school. It’s really a parenting decision on how to handle the situation. Parents have taken the hardline and done well with it because their kids finally had to make the decisions to do things for themselves, but there are some kids that really go down hill that just might have been able to stop the trend with a little push from home.</p>
<p>i have read both your threads on your “merely average child”. Your writing is powerful and you communicate your feelings and frustrations well. It is obvious that you care about your daughter and want the best for her, but it also very clear that she has disappointed you greatly -falling short of what your definition of high school success is. Venting on these boards can help, as you will get different perspectives from your own. I can’t help but think that for someone who writes so well -you must be communicating these feelings to her everyday at home- perhaps not directly but in what you say, body language, etc. Perhaps you are the root cause of her “mere” averageness and you are not aware that you are contributing to it. Maybe she feels she cannot ever meet your expectations and has stopped trying? Changing what you are doing can help, give her some hope and she may surprise you with above average effort.</p>
<p>Parenting is not an 18 year job, it does last a lifetime. Sometimes they will disappoint you and vs. versa. High school is very insignificant when you look at life’s big picture. She sounds very capable, so give her credit where credit is due and she will rise to the occasion. Celebrating her strengths, instead of her failures can be a powerful motivational tool and as many posters above have said, make her accountable for her performance, actions and the solutions. If you feel you’ve done your job well as a parent and you trust her, Bonnaroo could be the incentive she needs to turn things around. </p>
<p>It is so hard to let go of our kids. Sometimes we learn more from stumbling than our successes. If she is given the ability to turn things around with her own game plan and your support, she will learn valuable life lessons. In any event, she needs your encouragement. Her present “mere” average performance now may catapault her to soar in the future…</p>
<p>I couldn’t agree more with optimist91. I had the same thoughts – that your daughter is living up (or down) to your expectations, which you have made abundantly clear on both threads. It’s a shame that there is so much negativity in your view of parenting. I would guess that until you can find some pleasure in having this daughter in your life, she will only give you exactly what you expect of her.</p>
<p>Yes – to the above poster. No, it doesn’t end – do you really want it to, to be that disengaged from this person in your life? Mixed in with all the worry is so much joy if you can just see it.<br>
From the last thread, I have seen that you tend to really excoriate the people who disagree with you. I am not trying to judge you – we all worry, we all feel disappointment – but for heaven’s sake, she’s here, alive, breathing, living, growing, and still miraculously in your life. I suppose you will call that “fantasy-land” or “pie in the sky” . . .
Count your blessings. Life is always interesting!</p>
<p>Have you read the Launching Years? [The</a> Launching Years: Strategies for Parenting from Senior Year to College Life](<a href=“http://www.launchingyears.com/]The”>http://www.launchingyears.com/) It was very helpful to me last year when child #1 was a HS senior.</p>
<p>I think Northstarmom’s post is excellent. Please read and reread it, OP. It is very, very good advice.</p>
<p>As others have stated, we don’t stop worrying about our kids. That’s a given. However, we must do our best to allow them to grow up … and that sometimes involves allowing them to suffer consequences we would rather spare them. It is difficult to keep our mouths shut at times, but we must. Our job is to help our kids become adults. Your D is at the point where she is moving into young adulthood, and she will exercise her choices whether or not you want her to do so. Don’t fight every battle with her. Let her make those choices. You can give her advice, and you can let her know that the consequences are hers to deal with. Then, if her choices lead to some not-so-good consequences, DO NOT - repeat, do not - bail her out.</p>