<p>My H and I paid for our wedding and my ring. At the time, I was making more money than his parents and my parents put together. Nothing else made sense.</p>
<p>oldfort, If it were me, I would be very leery of your plan to add to the amount that the BF can afford just so D can get a larger and fancier ring. The ring is just such a personal and symbolic thing.</p>
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<p>To some, yes. To others, it’s something material that you want in order to make all your girlfriends green with envy. To someone else, it’s something you want to at least keep up with all your girlfriends. To some, it’s a joint symbol both should pony up for. For others, it’s seen as the groom’s gift to his fiancee to show his love and excitement about her agreement to marry him. To another guy, it’s something he feels forced to do so that bride to be will get off his back about it. To others it’s blah, blah, or perhaps blah, blah, blah…</p>
<p>It just really depends. :)</p>
<p>You’re 100% right Nrdsb4, and I should have said “can be.” My concern would be how the young man would feel about it, including down the road. If there’s any risk that he’d regret or resent this, it’s not worth it.</p>
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<p>So you’d be okay if you mined your own diamond? </p>
<p>I’m not planning on it any time soon, if that’s what you mean. (and until that is pretty universal, it is still, to me, a symbol of others suffering, regardless of where I would have gotten mine…which I wouldn’t have. And I’ll know when that is - when the market entirely collapses.)</p>
<p>Well, you know that diamonds aren’t important when the Fed doesn’t bother trying to kill the price.</p>
<p>In my world, dealing with conditions in the Congo-DRC, and the Israeli economy’s world (28% of their foreign trade), they are absolutely critical.</p>
<p>We are talking about engagement ring here, lets try to have some happy thoughts. I think you guys could start your own unhappy thread.</p>
<p>[Canada</a> Diamond Mines](<a href=“http://geology.com/articles/canada-diamond-mines/]Canada”>Canadian Diamond Mines: The Surprise in Northern Canada)</p>
<p>“Canadian diamonds have been very successful in the marketplace. They are high quality diamonds that have been very popular in the Canadian jewelry market where people are excited to support the diamond industry of their own country. Although most of the rough is exported, a small number of diamond cutters in Canada produce finished stones.”</p>
<p>“Many diamonds that have been mined and cut in Canada are documented and have their certificate number laser-inscribed on their girdle along with a trade logo such as a maple leaf, polar bear, CanadaMark symbol, or the words “Ice on Fire”. This inscription assures consumers of their diamond’s origin, connects it to the certificate and has been a very successful marketing feature.”</p>
<p>“Canadian diamonds also appeal to people who are concerned about environmental and human rights issues. They are produced from diamond mines that have some of the world’s highest environmental standards. In addition, the proceeds of the mines go to legitimate companies instead of groups who have obtained the diamonds through forced labor, theft or other exploitation. The certification process allows the stones to be tracked from mine through manufacturing, wholesaling and to the retail consumer.”</p>
<p>I think it’s lovely that you offered the heirloom ring to DS for his GF. There was no such ring when we were engaged. H bought me a lovely 1.01kt solitaire, much like the ones his peers gave their fiances (who became wives). I really didn’t have a strong opinion and he did, so it was fine. We bought the diamond from a jeweler who has been a friend for decades. </p>
<p>Costco now sells some gorgeous rings at very reasonable prices. If I were in the market for jewelry, I’d look there too (he k we buy lots there). :). My sibs all had different preferences about rings and were all ok with whatever they decided on. Two of my sisters have upgraded their rings but the rest of us are just fine with our rings. </p>
<p>Jewelry is so much a matter of taste. My dear MIL gave me some heavy gold jewelry when we married. It really wasn’t my or H’s taste, but we treasured it because it was from her. Some years later it was burgled from our house. We replaced it with pieces that were more to our taste. </p>
<p>I also agree that if jewelry is given away, be sure you are ok with it possibly being lost, stolen, remodeled, or gone in a divorce. These things happen more often than many of us would like.</p>
<p>Brilliant Earth uses Canadian diamonds and they have beautiful jewelery IMO. My dream ring is on their site but way way way out of my price range.</p>
<p>I bookmarked them - sent my wife an email on the other side of the world and asked her if she’d like some jewelry. I did a little digging and there are a bunch of diamond mining companies in Canada. They mine a huge amount of diamonds. I never knew that they were a big player in this market. Brilliant Earth has some nice stuff with other stones too.</p>
<p>Some of my inherited diamonds came from great-grandparents, from Romania or Russia. I have no idea if these mined in Africa, or Russia. I welcome theories.</p>
<p>My engagement ring is maybe 1/4 or 1/3 karat. It was one of the stones on the side of H’s grandmother’s wedding ring. We designed a setting together back in our early 20’s. I love my ring, and I have never needed anything larger, different, etc. My diamond represents an important person in H’s life, an important time in our lives, and … in one week … 30 years of a very, very happily married life. OP, may your son’s fiancee-to-be be as blessed as I have been.</p>
<p>OP here. Thanks for the nice sentiments! I am very excited about all of this, and I figure this will teach me a lot before I go through it with my DD.</p>
<p>DS finally called. I urged him to communicate with gf to zero in on her taste in rings. I think he may decide to have my mom’s diamond reset in a new ring. I am not sentimental about it ( I think ) and realize once I give it away, it’s gone.</p>
<p>I am going to do my best to support this marriage and not be the subject of one of these dreadful MOG threads!</p>
<p>Ha. I’m sure you’ll be fine junie. Give us an update when the big reveal happens :)</p>
<p>There are very few things about weddings that I find exciting but looking at rings has been a blast for me. I love other people’s stories! :)</p>
<p>Seriously, I love weddings! Once upon a time, I wanted to own a bridal shop (before the unrealistic expectations spawned by reality tv!). I loved my wedding, which was a relatively fancy affair (by early 1980’s standards, of course) … and I loved my niece’s wedding last fall, with the reception in the church her new FIL pastors, featuring homemade desserts & music from her iPod. All weddings are wonderful, because they are a celebration of love. Sigh … :)</p>
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<p>I was so happy when DH proposed to me. We were engaged 3 weeks and he said “You haven’t said a word about the ring!” I said, “Oh, yeah…the ring…ok.”</p>
<p>Well, he bought me a lovely ring. Here in Texas you pretty much have to have a car since public transit is practically non-existent, at least it was in those days. I would be driving and the sparkle from my ring would catch my eye in the reflection of the windshield. It’s a wonder I didn’t have a wreck. I would find myself admiring it without even consciously realizing it. Suddenly I was doing my nails…</p>
<p>It is a “thing,” and not important in the big picture. But I admit it was special to me and symbolized our commitment. :)</p>
<p>Last night my son asked his girlfriend to marry him. She said, “Absolutely!” I am still spinning. Center stone: 1 carat… .25 as side stones. Delicate. She loves it. (I finally looked at the appraisal. </p>
<p>I am going to be a mother in law!!!</p>
<p>^^^^^Congratulations!!! Much happiness to your son and future DIL! :)</p>