<p>Last night my son posted on the Swat board about a waitlist letter he’d received. He decided not to pursue the waitlist. It was the only true LAC he applied to. He already has an acceptance at U Chicago and would rather not drag the process out. I’m not in the least bit sure if he would have chosen Swat over Chicago! Yet his post mentioned that it was hard watching doors close, even when there are others open.</p>
<p>I don’t think I could put it any better than that. You spend all year imagining different paths and what would happen if you took those paths. Now some of those doors are closing. Hopefully, by May 1, there will be just one door left open. </p>
<p>That’s what’s supposed to happen. Your son or daughter is lucky to survive the process and come out with one or more viable options that sound like a good match. Then why does this feel so hard? By tomorrow our son (and many other sons and daughters) should know about every school but one. I suspect there will be a few more doors closing, either by his choice or by the decision of the school. And it isn’t only college acceptances that are thrown into this mix; sometimes it’s changing a major (even before you hit the campus! :)) or deciding you want an environment that’s different than the one you’d first imagined.</p>
<p>We have threads for celebrating victories and future possibilities, but none for saying goodbye. So here is a goodbye to my pre-med student who morphed into a humanities major half way through the process (pity the poor college that gets him–I am sure he will change majors at least five more times); to the son who decided that LACs and idyllic rural locations were probably not for him despite the fact that his Texas mom dragged him to every single such institution on the northeast coast last summer, and especially goodbye to the son who might have gone to Swat but didn’t!</p>
<p>Anybody else have any goodbyes, or things they are sorry or glad to leave behind?</p>
<p>My S had a clear first choice school that he ended up attending, he waited, however, to the very last day to send out his acceptance and rejection letters. It was simply difficult to say goodbye to the schools that courted him, offered money, etc. There was a real attachment there.</p>
<p>I know the feeling! S1 was waitlisted at one school and admitted to 4 others. He decided not to stay on the WL even though he had a good chance of getting off. It was I who lamented the closing door as I liked that school very much. But he had a hard enough time choosing between the remaining 3 (one he decided to decline right away). And in the end, he could only attend one college at a time! Congrats on Uof C! It’s a great school! If your S stays as a humanities major, there are very few schools that are its equal, and none that is better.</p>
<p>The process is a series of agonies, and none might be harder than having to select THE one. However, I truly believes that THE one that offers the best fit emerges with unmistakable clarity for most of us. Even the reasons why some doors were closed -or slammed in our faces- become clearer with time.</p>
<p>My D, after receiving 5 acceptances, received one waitlist and one rejection, and is waiting on 2 more notifications, both to reach schools, which I feel will be rejections. She is very happy with the choices she does have and did not take the rejection as hard as I thought she would have. The school that rejected her, was Northwestern, a school that most likely would have been her number one choice if not for finances. She knew when she applied that she most likely would not be able to attend, without her taking on an insurmountable amount of debt, but decided to apply anyway, perhaps, just to see if she would get in. I hated to “say goodbye” and see the door close on a great school, bit I also couldn’t help feeling a little bit relieved that I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about not being able to send her there. She also understands something that I have read on these boards many times and have often repeated to her…“they did NOT reject YOU the person, they rejected your application”. She knows she was as qualified as the next person, but so were the thousands of others who got rejected, but I’m sure deep down she hated to have that door close.</p>
<p>Well, I’m finding that they have new sets of doors being presented, opened, and closed. Life is like that in general but our students are in a particularly door-intensive stage of life. </p>
<p>I’m a bit on tenterhooks about one set of doors facing my D at the moment and there’s not a thing I can do about it except keep busy.</p>
<p>My d has had that moment of clarity that xiggi has described so well and I hope it doesn’t change tomorrow evening! </p>
<p>Her dad and I are thrilled with her choice…everything about it seems perfect. (We are congratulating ourselves for raising such a wise daughter btw…lol!) But I know what Cami is saying…it’s hard to deliberately remove options…she was also waitlisted at one school, one known for it’s massive waitlist. She has yet to sit down and tell them she is not interested in remaining on their list. I know she doesn’t want to go there, but it’s human nature to be reluctant to say goodbye to the possibilities. But I’m sure she will do what needs to be done when the time is right for her.</p>
<p>It is a bit ironic - My ongoing pep talk to my son is that getting better grades and higher test scores will give him more college options. It’s not about getting into an Ivy, or even any specific school, but being able to consider a wider range and quality of schools. The flip side of having several great options (hopefully) will be that some are difficult to turn down, and as I am fond of saying - you can only attend one school.</p>
<p>My d has received 3 acceptances, 1 WL, and awaits several more today. I’m hoping that it will be she (her?) who gets to shut the doors rather than the colleges, tho it’s not likely to turn out that way. I think making a choice from among several good options will be far preferable to the pressure of this wait. She’s fine; I’m stressed.</p>
<p>S2 has been accepted by three schools and deferred by his top choice, Kenyon. We haven’t heard from them in the RD pool as yet. I just hope and pray that he will NOT land on the waitlist at Kenyon . . .I am afraid he would never reach closure.</p>
<p>He will, he will… Hopefully, it won’t happen. If it does, he may take time to adjust. I know one student who was heartbroken last year because she was rejected from U Penn after a deferral. She had done all the right things in school and couldn’t understand why this was happening.</p>
<p>My son spoke with her when visiting colleges. She is at Emery and is absolutely happy. She wrote a letter back to the high school a few months into the term with glowing descriptions of her life and a word of wisdom to the present seniors not to flip out if their supposed “dream” school doesn’t materialize. </p>
<p>In the long run, it will be alright. In the short run, it can be tough to go through.</p>
<p>I think the closing doors were harder on me than on my son. I was sad when he decided against a college that sounded really great to me. (OK, it probably was a better fit for ME than for him…) The rejections and wait list letters were hard, again perhaps more on me than on my son. He had the attitude, Well, that will just make my decision easier, because that school’s off my list now.</p>
<p>He finally made a decision, just a day or two before May 1. We both regretted saying goodbye to a couple of the schools, but he was happy with his decision. Now, nearing the end of his freshman year, he is absolutely sure he made the right choice. He is growing and learning SO much and is very happy there. Perhaps he would have been just as happy at one of the other colleges, but that no longer matters. This is where he is, and it is great. The closing doors don’t matter, because so many new doors are opening.</p>
<p>My son has excellent offers from several colleges, but we’re waiting on his top choice, Notre Dame, which only sends admissions decisions by mail. The Admissions office says the letters will be sent out sometime at the end of this week, but nothing more definate.</p>
<p>We live in a tiny Ohio town and have a Post Office box. With any luck, the Postmaster will have to call us because the Notre Dame envelope won’t fit in the box. I just hope the call comes before we all have nervous breakdowns. :)</p>
<p>Location, location… I really liked the location of two of the schools on my son’s list. Now that all the financial packages are in those two schools are most likely out. I loved the idea of visiting him there and he liked the idea of living there. I am most suprised at how my son has grown and changed with this process. He started off a reluctant passenger going to visit schools because Mom said so and is now looking forward to two overnights at two un-known (but accepted to) schools. He changed his mind about what was important to him on the physical campus as well as the social one and the academic one. I’m still in the dark about which one he’ll choose but I’m more confident now then I was a year ago that he will know what’s best for him.</p>
<p>Last year the closed door that was hardest for me was saying no to D’s safety. We always focused on ‘love thy safety’. We had gotten so comfy with it that it really was sad to let it go…</p>
<p>There is always the “road not taken” aspect… when admitted ED you say no to all sorts of schools earlyon; you say no just by applying ED. </p>
<p>Also, in my D’s case, she is attending a reach, and I was a little anxious about the academic level being hard enough to be inspiring but not so hard as to be depressing… I wondered if her safety might be more nurturing, etc.</p>
<p>We are very happy with how things have turned out. The academic challenge is intense but she has risen to the occasion.</p>
<p>DS was waitlisted at McGill and decided to decline the waitlist (door closing, I agree it feels sad, he probably would have been admitted ultimately)- is still on deferral by UMich and I almost wish it had been a rejection - has had 5 acceptances !! and waiting for one more, an Ivy, today - it is indeed a time of doors closing and opening - also a door soon closing on the last 18 years with my only child (sigh…)</p>
<p>spikemom…I know what you mean, my D is an only child as well. We are trying to come to grips with the changes that will soon be here, like the quiet house with no friends running in and out, no sporting events to go watch her play in and the worrying that comes with having a child living away from home for the first time. I know it will take some getting used to, but we can’t help but feel the sadness along with the excitement. Good luck to you & DS.</p>
<p>Wow. Just like that, the door closed this afternoon, with a denial from Kenyon. S2 seems to be just fine with it, mercifully, and even seems a little light-hearted, just to have clarity. Whewww.</p>
<p>When my daughter got her ED decision letter, I also heard the faint sound of doors closing. My daughter, on the other hand, only heard the sound of a huge pile of half-completed applications and college viewbooks hit the trash can outside the kitchen with a triumphant and gleeful final crash. :)</p>
<p>We STILL haven’t heard from 4 colleges for my S. One of those should be a safety, but just found out this week that SAT screwed up (or the school lost 'em, if SAT sent them) and hasn’t sent scores in over seven weeks. (Not a good year for the College Board…)</p>
<p>Of the four rejections he has in hand, two were not a surprise; the other two were. So doors are closing, but not so much on our end, as theirs, thus far.</p>
<p>Two of the four remaining colleges have been sending some acceptances, presumably in stages. So the fact he’s not yet heard isn’t definitive - but his odds also go down with time, I figure.</p>
<p>It’s getting to be like water torture, slow drips at a time…</p>