When my kids were babies they had front facing car seats. The driver can look in the rear view mirror and monitor the kids’ well being. Now experts say that the rear facing car seats are safer, but some part of safety is lost. There are also more distractions, like talking on the phone in the car, so that parents minds are elsewhere rather than on minding the kids.
They don’t make decisions like recommending rear facing seats willy nilly. It is based on years of research of not only physical child development but crash history, car manufacturing, addition of air bags (not much of a thing 30 years ago), etc. Whether you look in your rear view mirror and see a child face forward or the back of a car seat, both indicate a human is there waiting for you.
Maybe the key is to put the phone in the back with the child - safer for driving and safer for child retrieval.
@TatinG my kids were all in rear facing seats until they were a year old. I had an infant mirror attached to the backseat and another mirror that clipped on my rear view mirror that was aimed at the mirror on the back seat. I was able to see my rear facing kids any time I needed to. I even left the one mirror clipped to my rear view mirror for many years after my kids were out of car seats. It came in handy when they would bicker in the backseat and I could see easily see who was messing with who without turning my head.
My current SUV actually has a built in “kid” mirror that pops up and down from the car ceiling for parents wanting to see the backseat without having to adjust the rear view mirror. I don’t need it as my kids are well past that age but was neat to see that feature was added.
I would vote to remove a DA that is so holier than thou and spending time/energy going after a mourning parent after such a tragedy. The money spent in the defense could have been better directed into therapy.
Though I do not believe making the punishment for accidents like this more severe is going lower these tragedies, I don’t think the parent should go scot free. I think heavy duty, court ordered psych therapy and therapy should be required. A parent involved in such a tragedy would need help.
I had a false memory just a few days ago. I was absolutely sure I put a piece of clothing where it belonged, and couldn’t understand why it wasn’t there. Turned out I was distracted while I was taking it there and I put it down in a random spot and forgot all about this afterwards. And when I have to stop at some other place before going to work, every single time I have to make a mental effort to remember this and not just drive straight to work on autopilot. So yes, I can totally understand this may happen to anyone, and all new parents should be aware of the issue and agree on a plan - like calling the other parent every time you drop a kid off at daycare.
The story linked in post 35 is gut-wrenching. I’ve read it before and can’t stand to read it again now.
We forgot to pick our daughter up from day camp once. Summer, different camp every week so we were out of our routine. She was older, and she was perfectly safe at camp. But still, I see how it can happen. Because she was older we weren’t even sleep deprived to the degree that parents of infants are.
We also once drove about half a mile with our infant son in his rear-facing carseat but somehow hadn’t buckled it. We had one of those mirrors and saw he wasn’t buckled and pulled over immediately.
Ah yes, S once announced as I was driving that I had not buckled him in when he was a toddler. He was horrified.
During my single years I once was traveling with my dog and realized about 30 minutes from the last gas station that I had left him behind. There was nothing I could do but drive back and hope he was there. They had kindly tied him up for me.
I think that made a big impact on me as that dog was like a lifeline to me. Made me realize it could happen.
I put my purse next to both of our kids. First one born in 1983. I just made it a habit.
@cptofthehouse doesn’t that imply mental illness? Therapy to cope would be great, but what he did doesn’t mean he needs therapy in order to not forget something important.
After reading all these experiences, and others on various social media posts, it’s pretty clear that the majority of people commenting have at one time or another forgotten a child in some way. Only very rarely does it end in tragedy.
I think most anyone who loses a child could use therapy. Losing one through direct action done would be enough to make anyone mentally ill.
The article upthread is a difficult read that not only goes into the horror of leaving a child to die like that and the aftermath suffered by the parent who does such a thing. Counseling could help.
^Yes, after watching my sister after losing her child, I can’t imagine someone in her situation NOT going to therapy. 