I don’t know what’s off here. I just doubt there are no attorneys willing to take a case unless it’s headed for a lengthy court battle. There’s a lot of web info about NJ divorce, including the comment that, “Only a tiny fraction of all divorce cases ever go to court.”
What AttorneyMother said!
If this reading does not make sense to your friend, she needs professional help!
rhandco, I will try and say things as nicely as I can.
I know you are trying to help a friend and you are being really really nice. But are you sure she has met with 5 attorneys and they have all declined to represent her? Sometimes people tell you what they think you want to hear instead of what the truth is.
When a spouse has blindsided you, it’s really hard and sometimes people don’t want to do anything. Even when they know they must. Or they are still listening to what their soon to be ex says (who wants out and is probably putting a big push that mediation is the only way to go).
It doesn’t matter to me what your friend does. But what I am trying to say is that sometimes you can’t solve everything or get a person to do what you want. Even when that’s what they need to do.
For awhile I have been wondering how your friend has presented herself to these lawyers. It seems strange that all would decline her case. Sometimes people put unrealistic expectations on the professional, and the pro would likely say something like ‘divorce is a compromise’ or my retainer fee is XXX.
I had a friend whose ex poisoned the well for her by meeting with every good law firm in their small town before he filed (which was a complete surprise) to ‘interview’ lawyers prior to choosing one. When she called around looking for a lawyer, all of those firms declined to represent her - they couldn’t. Her spouse was already listed with them as a potential client, which barred them from taking her as a client.
@snowdog that is a terrible but cunning individual; he probably learned this technique from somewhere or is very attorney savvy. I hope she was able to hire an excellent out of town attorney. She definitely had a head’s up on what she was up against.
Well, the CFP is high on her list now. She does have irrational thoughts on occasion - she never had a CPA, STBX did the taxes all the time, even though things were not peachy.
I do appreciate the free advice, even if it is just that it is driving home she needs her team and she needs them SOON.
There is concern about “poisoning the well” as that has happened with one mediator already. Even in a large metropolitan area, there are only so many place to go without traveling an hour or more due to traffic.
To top it off, they both agreed to see a counselor who focuses on family and children regarding the divorce, and were both given advice to see individual counselors, and he again refused. He is “fine” in his mind.
As for lawyers not talking small cases, I know that I used to do consulting as a sideline, and there was a lot of stress to get $10,000+ jobs and there were many $500 - $2,000 jobs that were refused, just because they were too small. Doing a business plan for a small specialty company might really take you as much time as for a large more generic manufacturer, but no small company wants to pay the same amount as a big one would.
@rhandco an older attorney who is patient and kind, and has had a good career - so good in law and good in reading people, and not having to be so worried about a lot of money coming in to pay off school loans and overhead. My sister had an excellent attorney and it was still drawn out.
Hope you can find someone and get a retainer in before he can get to it and poison the well.
I just spoke with her - CFP tomorrow. She has a decent spreadsheet together, that she has been working on for weeks.
College costs are freaking her out, but I’m not sure what to say about that. Even in NJ, best you can get guaranteed is 50% of in-state tuition and fees.
Lucky me I am married so I could just not pay for my son’s college at all >:)
Just chiming in here: The strategy of seeing every divorce lawyer in the state so your spouse can’t use any of them was advice Tony Soprano was given in The Sopranos.