“I would expect college counselors at prep schools to help sort the applicants out-to say, in effect, you are free to apply to college x but realize you aren’t one of our top 4 applicants for that school and we think it likely they will be admitted before you, for whatever reason. That feedback is honest and helpful, and students are free to craft their list as they wish accordingly.”
This. My kids were never told no or that they wouldn’t be supported. They were told a certain school or two was a “far reach” and popular with peers who had a much better shot based on stats. They were still free to apply if they wished. One did, one didn’t. As far as number of schools to apply to, there was a suggested number but, again, students were free to do as they wished. One applied to more than the suggested number. It was fine. Also, we found that the counselors’ rankings of which schools were reaches, matches, and likelies was very spot on as evidenced by final results and helpful.
It’s important to remember that GCs at elite prep schools have overlapping but not identical incentives to yours, in that you want your kid to get into their first choice/the best school possible, and they want: (i) every kid to get into as good a school as possible (in order to make the parents happy and the prep school look good to the outside world); (ii) no one to be shut out (which is a PR disaster and invites trouble from the parents); and (iii) to maintain their relationships with the admissions offices at the top schools. The latter means, in part, that the GCs don’t want trophy-hunting and many offers being declined. Ideally, they’d like your kid to get into one school that they’re satisfied with and go there, rather than shopping around and making it look like the GC can’t deliver after a kid is admitted.
People considering shelling out big bucks to send their kid to an elite prep school should do so knowing that their kid may get a better high school education than otherwise possible, and will probably stand a much better chance of getting into a top-20 university or LAC and coping with the academic demands once there, but will very likely be competing against a concentration of wealthy/connected kids who may block their path to the pinnacle.
Let’s say your kid attends an elite prep school that has a class of 100, including a not-at-all-unreasonable 20 HYPS legacies, many of whom are academically strong and possibly hooked in some other way (maybe some are recruited athletes or fill another institutional need) and are generally the children of wealthy and connected parents. Suppose Naviance tells you that each of HYPS typically admits, say, 3-7 kids a year from your prep school.
It’s only natural that unless your kid is a bona fide superstar at her school or has some other hook, the GCs are going to tell her that HYPS is going to be a high hill to climb and gently try to steer her to less-selective-but-still-very-high-quality schools (where the GCs also have good relationships and can be quite helpful - which is one reason you send your kid to an elite prep school). And it’s also only natural that you’ll conclude from this that the game is rigged.
@ChoatieMom Life is rigged-- no issue there: it is the pretense that it is not, is what is so annoying. Ie Naviance without any of the information that no one wants to acknowledge matters.
I agree with both @ChoatieMom and @Center - but would add that what is also annoying is when one of the fortunate kids insists they hit a triple without realizing or acknowledging they were born on third base.
The system is what it is - when you’re talking about colleges with many institutional needs (including money, alumni engagement, sports performance and diversity imperatives, to name a few), the admissions process in practice will seem opaque and less than entirely meritocratic. The colleges behave in a rational manner in the service of their many interests as they see them. So do the GCs.
If you’re a beneficiary of the system, though, it’s appropriate to recognize that fact and do your best to earn what you received. Not that it’s an unmitigated handout - you may have worked hard and been talented - but you had advantages. “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.”
We found Naviance very helpful. Let’s be real. No one is going to lay out all the data for you so you can tie it back to a kid and include who is hooked and who isn’t. You look for patterns and trends. Treat outliers as outliers and assume they don’t apply to your kid. Talk to and listen to the college counselor. They can see the details behind the dots on Naviance. They also know the details of your kid’s peers in his/her graduating class that aren’t going to be on Naviance. I think expecting perfect and complete information/data is unrealistic - and also unnecessary in crafting a balanced list of reaches, targets, and likelies that are good fits for your child.
Thank you to the OP for sharing this side of BS experience that we rarely hear from. With two students now graudated from a top, competitive BS, I would say my students’ experiences were similar. The only thing I disagree with is that Exeter is somehow the academically most tough. All the top boarding schools offer challenging curriculums with competitive students.
Its easy to say don’t go to a top BS if you only want to go to a top college. It’s hard to know that when you’re a 9 th grader. Many ninth grade students aspire to attend a top college which they hope will lead to top opportunities later.
In my family’s experience, like the OP, most of the students who got great opportunities in the college admissions game from our BS, were kids with hooks, or URMs who were also poor or first gen. Those students also got the best college counseling. My student said she was surprised the assignment of college counselors was not more of a lottery process.
Many parents of ORMs and non URMs are surprised to hear their unhooked students won’t have the same opportuities at elite colleges until its too late, both consideration by the college as well as in help from the BS. The early cum laudes are not driven by GPA only, allegedly there is a subjective component, and early cum laude does give you an edge. Most of the early cum laude kids were children of our BS teachers.
I think what parents need to know going in to the BS admissions process with eyes wide open is that there is not a level playing field in regard to help and preparation for elite college admissions process, yet many full pay parents are footing the bill for those students getting the most attention in the process.
I applaud the OP like I said showing another side of BS in elite college admissions, and I concurr. But again this is just our family’s experience. To me, BS is the best option for kids who alternatively don’t have good public schools or for students including first gen who are getting full FA.
For reasons of invasion of privacy, I can not tell the list of college where my kid has a top school as a safety school. We are ORM and my both older kids were early cum laude. Hopefully third one in on her way too. Kids attended BS and college on full need based aid. As soon as daughter got accepted to her first choice school, she only kept one more school to compare need based aid pacet. For second daughter she got in, she pulled her application from other colleges. Both daughters were rooting for their friends to get in. This is not a trophy hunting, kids have to be considerate to other friends.
Our third daughter when she applied to prep school, she was wait listed from every school except one where she matriculated. We are collecting information as third kid has no interest to work in finance. She is more of a computer geek with diversified interest in politics and public policy.
I do know that being ORM, it is very hard. But in my heart, I think BS teachers and college counselors are fair folks. Kids can only work hard and see where chips fall.
One more thing, kids who were not admitted to ivies are doing equally well in the finance field. BS does prepare you well for life.
Those who are full pay at BS, when my kids turn come they will try to send their own kids provided grand kids get admitted. My daughter’s now are contributing more to school after working as a thank you note.
“The early cum laudes are not driven by GPA only, allegedly there is a subjective component, and early cum laude does give you an edge. Most of the early cum laude kids were children of our BS teachers.”
Definitely not how things operated at my kids’ school.
It is sad if cum laude are selected not based on grades and hard course load. I would say if a kid A have taken hard couse load only in humaniities and very easy course load in science and math versus a kid B who is taking equally hard course load in humanities and much harder course load in math and science. Kid B should be on early cum laude. But we have seen many Kid A in early cum laude as they protected their GPA by taking easy math science classes.That we have heard stories. Is it fair, probably not.
Or kids taking hard math science classes but easier humanities classes to protect their GPA. It happens too.
And even in top most baording school, you can count very few kids who are pusing envelope in hard huamanities and hard math and hard science subjects. and doing extra curricular activities that are very very demanding because of time involvement factors.
@nynycasino1234 this we have seen–bomb placement tests in language and math. Start at basement level classes plus get diagnosed with LD for extra time. Pretty common and schools dont see this…
@Center yes that is a very true what you stated. Many students are manipulating by bombing the placement test. You and I have no control on this matter. But the way I see it students are far better if they take harder classes as they see who theu really are and what motivates them. In addiction, in amazing summer internship you can talk about pushing the boundries and get once in a life time opportunities which only very few can get it.
And more importantly you can figure out in high school what career opportunities you would do life time. What will be your love without thinking money. If you get into the field you love, money will follow.
@Center Please do not feel bad if your kid have diffetent politicsal views than majority in school. I saw it in some other thread. You learn to articulate better but not think to run for elected officee as it is based on popularity and not based on what is right or wronh. Forgive me if I am wrong. for the record my kids were into politics and first hand they learned how political views are not conduice to their well being. I did not have to tell them, they learned first hand. They have many friends who are rising high in both political parties. They have start funding their own friends. Have been invited to ever place imaginable as they are doing fund raising.
Most important part of prep school is not books or education. One can gain that in library. Most important is develop bonds with multiple kids who are of different race, different socio economic back ground, different culture and have varied and different view points than own yours. These kids enlarge your horizon and allow to become a better human being.
Ye gods. I’m glad to say this nonsense doesn’t go on everywhere. The kids in Cum Laude at my children’s school couldn’t bomb a practice test if they tried. They are smart and competitive and work hard in difficult classes. No faculty kids in the first wave. If any of them make it in the second round, I have no doubt they will deserve it. Also, at least a couple of kids with no hooks whatsoever have already been admitted to single-digit admission percentage colleges on their own merit.
@doschicos commonplace practice. best to start at the bottom in every possible course. top prep schools often dont weight, no AP, 4.0 scale. Easier to hide what you are doing.
