the ultimate secrets to getting into every college there is!

Applying to College
1

<li><p>the more you want the college, the less it wants you. play hard to get and she’ll fall in love with you and accept you for who you are</p></li>
<li><p>nobody likes to be alone. that’s why you need to have backups. date (i mean apply to) several at once</p></li>
<li><p>name does not matter. the body does. check out the student body. is it hot? or should you bring sweaters?</p></li>
<li><p>visit it daily and write essays full of love. also send in constantly updated resumes</p></li>
<li><p>if you get rejected, it’s not you. it’s just that there are so many people who are more amazing than you courting the same college</p></li>
<li><p>screw college</p></li>
</ol>

<p>p.s.</p>

<li>it’s hard to get into colleges nowadays. really really hard</li>
</ol>

<p>disclaimer: this thread is purely for laughs. do not actually follow the above advice…</p>

2

<p>wow…</p>

3

<p>" if you get rejected, it’s not you."</p>

<p>yea, it’s probably your parents for deciding your race and gender and nationality that got you rejected.</p>

4

<p>You will all rue the day that your parents decided to go with Option B and not genetically redesign your characteristics to best fit those of college admission committees.</p>

5

<p>rofl firefox is one of a kind</p>