We have threads for everything else, so why not one where we can come here and commiserate instead of nagging them?
I’m certainly not pushing the panic button just yet. Ds2 graduates in May. But today he wrote his boss from his summer internship asking whether he would consider him for a certain job he saw posted on the website. He would be GREAT for it, but, truthfully, it’s a pretty coveted position that he’s not quite qualified for. But it doesn’t hurt to ask, right? Because it’s the holidays he might not hear for a while. For some reason, it’s more stressful this time around.
Not to be a wet blanket here, but I don’t know if you even have a right to worry yet, your kid doesn’t even graduate for five months.
Start worrying when he’s put out hundreds of applications and has been looking like crazy for two months. After graduation. You think you’re stressed now? My kid is smart, personable, has talents in a career field that is supposedly hiring like crazy. And no job…
The nomadic kid has landed in the US just prior to the holiday season. Needless to say, her job search has not been very successful so far. She knows that the holidays affect the speed of hiring, so she is polishing her job applications, networking, applying to grad schools etc. - but it is still stressful.
You’re joking, right? Being concerned about your kid getting a job is helicopter parenting? Even parents who have had very little involvement in their kids lives are concerned about their children being employed. Jeez, when my husband got laid off at the age of 30, his parents (who were extremely uninvolved throughout his childhood) were worried.
Being able to support yourself is a basic concern. If your parents don’t give a crap if you get a job, they don’t care much about anything, I’d say.
I agree that this isn’t helicoptering… it’s legitimate concern in part because the reality is if kiddo doesn’t get a job by June, guess who may have to pay the rent come July…
I felt sick to my stomach when my 45- year-old brother-in-law got laid off and didn’t find a new job for several months. I helped him by introducing him to folks in my network to the extent I had potentially useful contacts. Does that make me a helicopter sister-in-law?
(My daughter also graduates this year, too, and it is very stressful. I’d rather not post the details of what she’s up to but it is a stressful time).
It is a HUGE concern! A higher percentage of young adults are living back with their parents than ever before. The job market for recent grads and young adults is not that great, no matter what you read. Dissatisfaction rates with the jobs they DO get is high! Yeah- not helicoptoring at all. Just worrying about the future for our kids!
If your child isn’t graduating until May/June, no need to panic yet but great idea to have a place to share concerns, ideas, and ways to support our kids. A lot of jobs are found via connections and suggestions from those we know and the college career center won’t be a helpful resource for placing all students although they can provide invaluable advice on resumes, interviewing, and job hunting techniques and resources. Tell your students to utilize alumni networks as well.
That is really awesome of you, @nottelling! That seems to be how people get jobs nowadays.
I also have helped a number of people get jobs with my company, including my husband, BIL, sister, friends, and people I haven’t even met. It’s sad that I can’t seem to help my son, but I don’t know anyone in his industry (software engineering), but I am happy that I have been able to help so many others get employment. It’s all about connections, instead of being just a name and a number, you become a person, when somebody helps you.
Neither of my kids had jobs lined up when they graduated. Somehow they persevered and are productive citizens. I sure don’t think that December before graduation is panic-button-time.
Yes, yes, not really worried. And not helicoptering … he’s in a field in which I would be of no help. I know that he’ll get something somewhere, but wouldn’t it be great if he got the perfect thing right out of the gate? I hope that this thread can be like the diet one or the elderly parents one – a place where we can fret among friends as time goes on.
I like coming here, @jeremyj because those of us who’ve been around awhile know what a welcoming place it is to unload.
@katliamom, this one already has said that moving home would be almost an over-my-dead-body thing. And he knows we aren’t paying his rent. We can’t afford to do that.
@busdriver11, good luck to your ds! DS2 definitely has friends/classmates who have their first jobs lined up – and have had them lined up for months. He’s just not in that kind of field where you do an internship the summer before senior year and, hopefully, leave with a job waiting for you upon graduation.
@doschicos, if only I could get him to that career center. He refuses to go. But the truth is that he’s great at networking and working connections. He’s not afraid to cold call alumni he’s never met, etc. Like I said, he’ll land on his feet somewhere, I’m sure, but this new job posting at the place he interned would be his dream job. i just needed to get it out to the world!
I didn’t mean to imply you couldn’t come here to chat or unload. I’m sorry.
But, and I say this without even knowing who you are or anything about you, were your parents (well I don’t know the word, in my day it was “strong-minded”) –
It’s hard being that child that is driven by external pressure to constantly be thinking about the next step and never taking a moment to just breathe. I hope you give your child that opportunity.
Again, I don’t mean any of this disrespectfully, there’s just a lot of really really intense parents on this site and it makes me sad.
“But the truth is that he’s great at networking and working connections. He’s not afraid to cold call alumni he’s never met, etc.” Having that go-getter attitude will definitely help.
Jeremyj, I’ve known Youdon’tsay through two kids in college and beyond. She’s NOT a helicopter parent. She is, however, a tremendous advocate for educational opportunities and where those can lead after graduation. She’s one of the good guys!
jeremy, the whole point of coming on here to commiserate with friends is so I can just smile and nod with ds. He knows that I don’t care what he does or where he does it as long as he’s happy and can support himself to whatever level he desires. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hoping he gets what he wants.
