<p>my dearest wesleyan.</p>
<p>i am writing to you expressing my deepest regrets.
that i cannot attend your soiree.</p>
<p>i know that there will be cute hipsters there
and tofu and eggless souffle.</p>
<p>your viewbook was delightful
color-rich and insightful.</p>
<p>for one night and one day i visisted you.
and tears came to my eyes as i bid you adieu.</p>
<p>you birthed such great leaders with each passing day
indie star santogold and director michael bay</p>
<p>your tour guide sir carmen
was the hottest guide i’ve ever seen</p>
<p>i thought that i was smitten before
but after that info session, i knew it was only you i could adore</p>
<p>eff brown i thought
rhode island is naught
compared to a jewel like you.</p>
<p>for who would choose mere stones over pearls
hermaphrodites over true girls
neutrogena before creme la mer
synthetic weave in lieu of human hair?</p>
<p>but alas, my dream is gone.
you and i wesleyan, will make no spawn</p>
<p>although you remain my one love true
i must say goodbye to you</p>
<p>you will give me no aid.
neither merit nor need.</p>
<p>my parents will not pay your fare.
because the prestige just isn’t there.</p>
<p>it’s not you, it’s me.
it’s not me, it’s my dad.
his pockets are too deep
and you are just too cheap.</p>
<p>but i sort of understand.
you need kids from other lands.</p>
<p>i’m just a middle class loser.
who can’t think of a word that rhymes with loser.</p>
<p>you only want the poor.
and the rich, nothing more.</p>
<p>i don’t blame you wes my dear.
to my heart you will always remain near.</p>
<p>have fun without me.
and please never doubt me.</p>
<p>if i were to even apply
and get it, i’d poke out my eye</p>
<p>and who wants to be eyeless at 17?</p>
<p>if i end up across the sea
at that school that borders risd.</p>
<p>you’ll know why - it’s not because of the prestige
it’s because you just won’t bestow the aid i need.</p>
<p>love
princessbell</p>