<p>I am new here and really need advice for a logical, rational conversation with my child that will be going to college. </p>
<p>I need advice of how to discuss issues with my son. He and his high school sweetheart made the college choice together. While the school teaches what both want to major in, they are not making their choices as individuals. They have been bf/gf since 9th grade and now are planning intertwining their college plans.</p>
<p>It may be too late in the process for this, but when my sister was going to college and had been dating BF seriously for a couple of years, all parents (Mom at my instigation) insisted that they go away to different schools for 1 year. After that year if they wanted to transfer they could with no further discussion. </p>
<p>That is what they did. Both transferred back home to the same school and commuted together. They got married after college and are still married 28 years later. But sister does indicate that that year helped her grown up some and look at what she wanted. It just confirmed her choice. I do think they visited a lot in that year, though.</p>
<p>Son should be applying to more than one college. You never know if you will get in.</p>
<p>Financial aid will be an issue. Another reason to apply to more than one school.</p>
<p>Even though the school may offer a “degree”, that school’s degree may not be as valuable as another school’s degree that could be as cheap or cheaper to go to.</p>
<p>How much debt will they (Son and GF) have when they graduate? How much of that is related to choosing to go to the same school. Money problems is the #1 cause of divorce.</p>
<p>What about colleges that are close together? For instance, Harvard and MIT are just a few miles from each other.</p>
<p>There may not be too much that you can (should??) do. It’s their life. However, you can give them advice, guidance and counsel. Ultimately, though, they will make their own decision. College changes people. Even if they do go to the same college, there is a good chance that one or both of them will find someone else. It may ultimately resolve itself in either case. Also, think about this. If they are separated for a year, if they truly love each other, then will they be able to focus on school the way they should? Being together might really be what they need and the best way for them to proceed in their lives. Do you like the young lady? Are they good to each other? Is the relationship positive and not destructive? Maybe this is meant to be. If not, then meeting new people, wherever they end up, will teach them that there are more fish to fry! I would let it be.</p>
<p>^That study does not sound very scientific…</p>