@doschicos: I mentioned this article to my wife and daughter last night (DD is going to be freshman, moving in on Aug 21st). My DD laughed. My wife, less so… uh-oh!
Can this also apply to meeting son or daughter’s boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time? 
http://www.theonion.com/article/nice-to-meet-you-coworkers-tell-new-employee-theyv-34933
http://www.theonion.com/article/college-residence-office-gets-kick-out-pairing-few-50885
Roommate pairing
^^ @Madison85 when I transfered colleges, I got the chain-smoker up-all-night-watching-tv-arguing-with-boyfriend-on-phone roommate from hell. I finally moved out to the weird-but-tolerable! 
The lanyard one is funny too, although, “back in my day”, standard lanyard wearing protocol dictated that they were to be ‘worn’ hanging out of the pocket and not around the neck.
http://www.theonion.com/article/college-freshman-decides-be-lanyard-wearing-kind-51327
http://www.theonion.com/article/man-treats-mother-detail-about-his-personal-life-50641
Here’s another good one!
This one is too perfect for CC not to share:
http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/theres-no-greater-bond-one-between-mother-and-her–51542?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default
“Nowadays, rarely a moment goes by when I’m not thinking of my child’s accomplishments—they’re my whole world! When I’m around my friends or chatting with coworkers, it’s like they’re the only thing I can talk about. It truly is remarkable how fast you come to realize that they are what’s most important in life: those tangible pieces of evidence that signify how your child stands out from his or her peers.”
^^That sounds like the kind of mom who would post on CC and find a way to bring her daughter’s accomplishments into the thread every time!
@Madison85 brings up a good point! No names to be added to this thread! LOL
See below.
If The Onion made a travel brochure:
“Oh, my God, the three of them were just here, talking and sharing family meals together—that was so intense,” the tremoring 55-year-old said, reeling from a spell of dizziness as she described the euphoria of seeing her 27-year-old son, 24-year-old daughter, and college-age son all seated next to one another at the dinner table. “I was buzzed out of my mind when they all arrived a few days ago, but when I realized they were each sleeping in their childhood bedrooms right down the hall from me, it felt like I was flying straight upward and my heart was ready to burst—I could barely even handle it. God, what a f@%king rush.” At press time, sources reported that Applin had decided to chase another high by looking at some old photos of her children in their Easter clothes.
http://www.theonion.com/article/sweating-trembling-mom-still-coming-down-high-havi-51911
This doesn’t “crack me up”, but is appropriate social satire for our times.
dos I saw that earlier and noticed it was from 2010… and things have gotten worse since then.
I noticed the date as well and thought, sadly, the same @romanigypsyeyes
http://www.theonion.com/graphic/pros-and-cons-attending-college-52701
Pros and Cons of Attending College
PROS
Able to engage with a diverse new group of people from all over southwestern Ohio
Identity worth more on black market when paired with B.A.
Basically no other way to join a cappella group
Introduced to entire network of alums from which you might garner unpaid internship
Dwindling number of places to march to “Pomp And Circumstance” these days
CONS
Demand for critical thinking at 40-year low
Displaying bachelor’s degree requires costly frame purchase
Current service economy chiefly interested in how clean you keep your car
Agony of watching the fencing team repeatedly feint in obvious parry situations
Can always read Physics For Scientists And Engineers: A Strategic Approach on your own time
:))