Therapy speak. What are you hearing from your kids?

[natty1988]

@gouf78

I think appropriate therapy is very helpful. Always will be. Therapy by a trained therapist. Not the peer pressure of internet hyped up lingo.

What I find concerning is a seeming growth in labeling (especially parents) as “narcissistic” or with BPD (borderline personality disorder), the instant advice (usually internet advice) to go NC (no contact) or “establish your boundaries” (with appropriate punishment–usually NC) to enforce them. There doesn’t seem to be any pushback that maybe the fault lies with the person who is playing victim. The fact that NC serves no purpose (except in rarer circumstances than presently promoted) but to create further divide is disregarded. No discussion equals no solution.

There seems to be also a lack of taking responsibility for actions. Don’t want to do something? I’m taking a “mental health day”. We need “safe spaces” because I might be “triggered” (trigger warnings follow…) by something in a book or a podcast or an email. Don’t agree with how someone is acting–criminal/moral/crazy/just plain lazy? Suddenly you are labeled as an “fill in the blank-ist”. Guess I’m missing a bit of my parent’s generations admonitions to “quit the whining and get off your lazy butt.” Sometimes you need to “find yourself” by doing not just thinking. And just because “everybody says so” doesn’t mean it’s right. And because it got written on paper doesn’t make it right either. And BTW kid, it’s not always about you.

Well said! I do think that more awareness of mental illness is a good thing and I realize that some people do have mental illnesses that can really impact their life. But people do need to take responsiblity for their lives and actions and realize it’s not all about them and that life isn’t easy. The problem is that everyone seems to think they’re an expert these days and everyone loves to use social media as their soapbox to stand upon.

@deb922

I think it’s one of those things you don’t know unless you’ve experienced it.

One of my kids said that their SO had anxiety because they didn’t want to take care of something at the DMV. I’ve never seen any indication that this person has any anxiety issues. They just don’t want to do grownup stuff at the DMV.

If this was the case, my husband would have the worse case of anxiety ever experienced . He has no anxiety, never has, just a strong case of I don’t want to’s.

Yes, going to the DMV is no fun and I do get anxious going there, but I still tough it out and go. The problem with saying stuff like this is that when you use words like anxiety too much, they can loose all meaning. I do know people who do have genuine diagnosed anxiety, but they don’t use the word constantly.

I get that in the old days, there was a stigma against therapy and mental health issues were often swept under the rug. But, it would be nice if we could find a middle ground between not acknowleding mental health issues and overusing threapy speak and acting like everything has a huge affect on mental health…