<p>[Last</a> hope in a weak economy? Mom and Dad - Yahoo! News](<a href=“http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080321/ap_on_bi_ge/living_with_parents]Last”>http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080321/ap_on_bi_ge/living_with_parents)</p>
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<p>That’s just ridiculous… that type of parenting help might have caused the kids to overextend in the first place… reality bites but that’s how you learn. Better to learn at a young age to live within your means. And calling 50-year-olds “kids” is slightly repulsive sounding to me, though maybe in 30 years I won’t think so.</p>
<p>Ummm, my family just might fit into this mold.
while we are not in dire straits, we do get a lot of help from my mother, who inherited my grandmother’s estate a few yrs back.
Without her help, it would put us in a huge hole with the funding of our kid’s education. her contribution is significant…exceeds what both my husband and I pay and what my ex and his wife pay.
She also gives my three sisters and I a $ 12,000 gift yearly.</p>
<p>She lived most of her life very frugally and is more than happy to contribute.
I try not to think of it as mooching, but a little pay it forward on what I will inherit someday.
My mom is the best.</p>
<p>I would not equate monetary gifts dedicated to grandchildren’s education to bailing out adult children who have shown fiscal irresponsibility. My in-laws are helping with college costs for their three grandchildren. That’s not the point of the article. </p>
<p>If she stopped giving you $12,000 yearly, would you be in dire financial straits and be forced to move in with her? If not, then no worries that you are “those” kids. :)</p>
<p>Actually, if you have more assets than are needed to support yourself in your declining years giving your adult kids (and grandkids, too) the maximum “free” gift each year is good estate tax planning. And it also has the advantage that you get to help your family members while you’re still alive. The biggest problem is that some of the “kids” might resent what the others get, or they don’t get, or whatever. Not that things like that ever happen, of course. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Good point kluge.
Luckily we are all equal ( my sibs and I )
I do grapple with a little guilt though because so far, only my kids have received the money for college. My older nieces and nephews will never have the same opportunity, as they are either out of college or never attended.</p>
<p>One of my sisters is very irresponsible with her finances, as are her two kids. I make it a point to NOT tell her that Nana is the financier of my kids education.
It is a clear case of favoritism, but in all honesty my kids are very close to my mother…call her on their own without being told to. Visit her on weekends from college to her home an hour away. Not because of the money, but out of love.
Her kids didn’t even come to my stepfather’s funeral. My mother even jokes not to leave this sister alone with her, because she says that she will put a pillow over her head !</p>
<p>My mom also gave me the maximum allowable gift for the last five years she was alive. We used that “extra money” for things that were “extra” like summer programs for our kids, and getting a new couch. She was thrilled to see us use the money wisely.</p>
<p>Ditto with us. My H’s parents have been extremely generous with their four grandchildren and are doing as much as they can, as their parents did for their grandchildren (my H and his sibs and cousins)–gparents were Italian immigrants who arrived “without two nickels to rub together” as my MIL says, but did well in the US. I hope we’ll be able to use their financial wizardry and generosity as well for our grandkids someday. My H has absolutely not been spoiled by having generous parents and g-parents and is frugal and responsible and a big community volunteer on top of it.</p>
<p>My grandmother was not generous with her money at all.
I think part of it was from living through the depression.</p>
<p>she could have and was advised to give away money to my mother and her grandchildren, but opted not to. Instead the IRS got a hefty chunk when she passed.</p>
<p>We never knew the difference, but I sort of resent her not helping my mom in the years that my step-father was alive… would have loved to see them take a trip of a lifetime</p>
<p>I must be an exception. I have never received a dime from my parents since the age of 17. The last 20+ years they have travelled all over the world. If they wanted to help me out when I was really struggling or if they wanted to gift my son any money for college (they did give him $200 for a hs graduation gift), they certainly could afford to. My parents have said to my face that they would rather give their money to charity rather than me, my brother or my son.</p>
<p>I am in the exception category also. No family members have ever given us (or my kids) financial gifts of any kind unless you count the $25 a piece at Christmas and the $15 on birthdays from my MIL.
My Mom lived on a very limited income which required frugal living on her part. There was no such thing as extra money. H and I married young (23 and 20). No offers of financial assistance were ever offered at any point. No one in our families ever really had an overabundance to offer.</p>
<p>Nothing from my parents or in-laws. It’s the other way around, we pay for everything whenever we are out with our parents. My brother paid for my parents’ house, we pay for their vacations, dinners, big/expensive gifts (birthday, anniversary, mother/father day, xmas)… My brother always said we were my parents’ best investments.</p>
<p>A friend wrote a rather poignant piece for a local publication about how humbling it was to ask his parents for money at a rough spot in his adult life. My reaction was that having someone to ask was a sign of being a member of the middle class or higher. A sign of priviledge that many will never have. </p>
<p>I had a grandmother who was good to me, now long gone. Somehow divorce changes some feelings of entitlement to a share of the wealth, and aside from a few plane tickets years ago, and a Christmas check, received little from my dad. My mom has little, and I usually try to help her rather than the reverse. </p>
<p>When married, I was awed by my inlaws generosity. Good hardworking people, with a generous heart. Also saddened by the hurt and resentment over perceived injustices in that generosity among the siblings. Everyone had different needs.</p>
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<p>great lakes mom, </p>
<p>Your statement is proof positive that the number of ones words means nothing, while their poignancy means everything. </p>
<p>You express your sentiments beautifully. </p>
<p>toblin</p>
<p>How about adults who support their parent(s) because their parent(s) were not financially responsible? 
It does happen the other way around, too.</p>
<p>It’s all just money loaned to us anyway, and will end up with our owners regardless.</p>