<p>Also, never pour cold water into a pan of hot oil in an attempt to cool it down. It will turn into a geyser! I learned this as a young, impressionable child, just before my mother came home.</p>
<p>Never put your purse on top of the car while getting ready to take the kids to camp. </p>
<p>And don’t worry when you stop at the light and a man gets out of the car behind you and taps on your window to tell you that something flew off the top of your car about a mile back.</p>
<p>Next, try not to speed race to go back for your purse especially when you see a man pull over in his car on the other side of the road and dash over to where your purse is. </p>
<p>No problem though. Once he gets to your purse and realizes all the money has blown away he will get back in his car and drive away leaving your purse in the middle of a multi lane hiway so you can dodge traffic to retrieve it.</p>
<p>Don’t drink water while you’re using a laptop.</p>
<p>Don’t leave oily, flammable rags right by the furnace. You might burn the house down.</p>
<p>No I didn’t do this, but I was in the house when it burned down.</p>
<p>Don’t pick your nose, don’t throw rocks, don’t hit people with sticks, don’t spill, don’t write on the walls, don’t forget to wipe, don’t forget to flush, don’t forget to wash your hands, don’t climb trees, don’t scream unless you’re hurt, don’t throw up on the carpet, don’t throw up on the furniture, don’t play with knives, don’t cheat, don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t say bad words, don’t ask about things that aren’t your business, don’t pick at your face, don’t forget to wear deodorant, don’t forget to practice, don’t forget to do your homework, don’t forget your manners, don’t talk about people behind their backs. Don’t be late. Don’t speed. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t text and drive. Don’t make promises or threats you can’t keep. Don’t take people for granted. Don’t be lazy, don’t be envious, don’t be greedy. Never put a rope around your neck. Don’t borrow. Don’t lend. Don’t get into debt. Don’t forget to read the instructions. Don’t forget to ask for directions. Don’t ruin your GPA. Don’t ruin your reputation. Don’t ruin your credit rating. Don’t forget to call your mom.</p>
<p>Another stovetop “event”.
Before dinner the kids and I were talking in the kitchen while dinner cooked. I was standing with my back close to the stove to enjoy its warmth. My back began to feel hot so I stepped forward. Still felt hot and the kids yell “fire”. Turns out I WAS ON FIRE! I stopped, dropped , and
was too scared to roll. Didnt seem like a good idea to press the fire into my back.
DD3 yells put flour on it and another tentatively starts hitting me with a dishrag. . Im yelling squirt water from the sink
"Flour girl" saying you cant put water on a kitchen fire. (Note to self - in 3rd grade fire safety make sure kids know the difference between a grease fire and any ol’ fire in the kitchen).
DS had a towel draped around his neck (Thank you Douglas Adams for writing Hitchikers guide. Note to others: He’s only a little weird- he doesn’t always where a towel around his neck - it was just that it was the Mayan calendar end of the world day and he wanted “to be prepared for intergalactic travel”) and managed to put it out right before my husband runs into the kitchen. DH then put water from the kitchen sink on my back it felt so good.
I wasn’t injured much. Most of my back was red and there were a few small blisters in one area. All is well - Except for the shirt with the back burned out that my kids hung up in the entrance hall:)</p>
<p>GAMomto4, glad it all turned out OK!!</p>
<p>When I was in HS, I wore a polyester blouse and leaned against the warm stove. The blouse melted!!!</p>
<p>For the men, if you are asked, “how does this look” by your significant other, consider that to be a rhetorical question. The proper answer is , “fine, great, super” and not, “it makes you look chunky”…or your significant other may soon become an ex-significant other…
That is a lesson that was personally learned 30 years ago…</p>
<p>Don’t lean over a bunsen burner in high school chem class with that long loose 70s hair.</p>
<p>“Don’t lean over a bunsen burner in high school chem class with that long loose 70s hair.”</p>
<p>That sounds dangerous!! Hopefully nothing serious resulted from that?</p>
<p>Just singed bad-smelling hair. :/</p>
<p>Don’t buy a compact car when you end up being the roadie for a drummer / percussionist and need to carry a complete drumset, and a 7.5 foot Marimba and the percussionist. I should have taken a picture and sent it to Pontiac to shown them just what you can pack in the sunfire. 
Good times and I truly miss those days now that she is away and almost finished her BM</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Never forget to drop the kids at school/day care while driving to work. This is especially important if they cannot talk and/or don’t have a sense of direction yet.</p>
<p>Never forget to check that BOTH kiddos are in the car before heading for home. Don’t assume older kiddo will mention younger kiddo isn’t in the car. </p>
<p>Also when you’re a frazzled new parent don’t lock the keys in your car with the engine going and young baby strapped into the cars eat. </p>
<p>Never forget the color, make and model of your rental car and where you parked it when you and two unhappy sodden tykes are leaving an “amusement” park after being drenched in a ride. Also never assume you won’t get drenched in a ride just because you never have at Disney.</p>
<p>HImom,</p>
<p>I am glad I am not the only one.</p>
<p>Don’t throw your jeans in the wash at the last minute (standing by the machine with the jeans on, decide you might as well wash them too), when your iPhone is in the pocket. It is amazing how fast I realized where my phone was when I called it a 1/2 hour later and it went straight to voice mail. Put the phone in rice, aimed my hair dryer at it for a while, still didn’t work. Googled “how to dry out phone after washing machine” but the responders were quite harsh: “you’re an idiot”, “soak it in apple juice to rejuvenate”. Happened to plug it in 2 weeks later and it started working. I had already replaced it, but my D1 called a few days later to see if we had any extra phones lying around as hers had quit. She has been using it for a couple of months now and it mostly works with just a couple little quirks.</p>
<p>Don’t stand too near beloved pyros on New Years Eve when said loved ones always seem to sprout newly burnt holes on their clothing from playing with fireworks on said day.</p>
<p>takeitallin,</p>
<p>Next time try putting your iphone in (uncooked) rice.</p>
<p>When your older child tells you on the way to gymnastics that she doesn’t feel well and the other child begins to cry because she doesn’t want to miss gymnastics, don’t say over your shoulder as you do a u-turn in your new car to head home “well, Missy, I hope you’re REALLY sick, because look how upset baby sister is!” Especially in the hot summer…in Texas…yeah.</p>
<p>And don’t assume that kiddos in the car will mention that they did notice something fly off the top of the car if you leave something there. </p>
<p>And when you do park in a crowded parking lot with a small rental car, do not park between 2 larger SUV type cars as it is nearly impossible to find the car unless walking right next to it.</p>