<p>This post may get this year’s prize for stupidest, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while and finally got up the nerve to ask. For those of you whose kids have already graduated (or gotten married, or had a child, or something similarly moving…) HOW did you keep from falling apart at the event/ceremony?</p>
<p>I have a really small family and we’re not big on ceremonies. S is an only child and I’m really kind of worried that I’ll make a big fool of myself by crying uncontrollably at his graduation. I’m kind of in untested waters here because he hasn’t had a big event since elementary school graduation, and I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to pack up and move to another state after that one. I’m the kind of person who sobs (quietly, but continually) through weddings, Olympic medal ceremonies, and phone company commercials. I’d really rather not do that in front of S’s whole high school. </p>
<p>I’ll be grateful for any suggestions, anecdotes, whatever.</p>
<p>I don’t have suggestions for handling all types of events, but school administrators have a knack for killing some of the emotion at graduations. For my D’s high school graduation, we had to park and get to the football bleachers about an hour early. The temperature was in the mid 90’s and there was not a cloud in sight. The metal seats were so hot you could hardly sit on them. After about an hour of cooking in the sun, we were treated to some bad music and boring speaches. Next came the actual handing out of the diplomas. This occurred about 100 yards away. I can assure you that you will underestimate the time it takes to read the names and handout diplomas to 650 graduates.</p>
<p>We have the opposite “problem” - I’m the stoic one, attending with the mindset of “I can endure anything for a few hours”…my usually logical daughter gets VERY emotional at these things. There isn’t any way to mitigate it - if there was, I’d already know how. </p>
<p>She gets emotional at a lot of things actually - once, we went to the Holocaust Museum in Washington - she cried as if her heart would break, and insisted on examining every exhibit on every floor, and of course each new visual made her cry harder. We were there three hours, and she cried the entire time. Me? I was left to keep running into the lady’s restrooms of whatever floor we were on to discard used tissue and get fresh tissues etc. No one else there was crying, not even the people who were actually Jewish and/or had family members directly involved. </p>
<p>A very good friend of mine cries at nearly every single mass we attend together. This I can at least solve a little bit - I intentionally whisper jokes in church so as to head off the tears. </p>
<p>I have decided that some people are simply wired this way and there is no way to change them.</p>
<p>Heli: DD is an only child, also. I’m going through a lot of “lasts” this year; her last home swim meet is tonight, and there’s a ceremony to honor the seniors where they’re giving flowers to their Moms. Don’t think either of my eyes will be dry.</p>
<p>My advice: bring tissues, and the heck with what other people think.</p>
<p>That’s certainly not a stupid question! I know last year I was wondering the same thing. I’m can get pretty emotional too. I used to get teary eyed every time the commercial came on about the boy coming back from college very early in the morning and making coffee for his mom and himself. I even can get a little weepy reading some posts on CC.</p>
<p>I figured I’d be a mess at graduation, but actually it didn’t shed a tear. I had the tissues ready, but it just didn’t tug at my heart the way I thought it would. I think I had thought about it so often during his senior year, I had sort of inoculated myself from it all. However, if you do cry, so what, he doesn’t need to to know. So don’t be embarrassed if you cry, I’m sure there will be others.</p>
<p>Most of my friends are in the same situation – either it is the youngest or only child graduating. In my case, I have twins – and they are our only children. We asssume that all of us will sit near each other and either cry uncontrollably, or give each other strength to get through it without shedding a tear. I have no idea what to expect. I am simply excited for my SS and their friends.</p>
<p>Now — how do I handle sending them off to college without totally losing it???</p>
<p>Don’t worry at all–it’s perfectly normal. People will understand. Remember the tissues. </p>
<p>My grandma always told the story of how she had to stuff her handkerchief in her mouth to keep from wailing at her oldest daughter’s wedding as she watched her frail 46-year-old husband who was dying of cancer walk their daughter down the aisle. His goal was to attend the wedding; he died a few weeks later.</p>
<p>I cried throughout the funeral of a woman I barely knew–I was pregnant at the time and hormones did me in. I think hormones can be a factor for women of a certain age, too. Those commercials prey on us! OTOH, If it gets really bad and you find yourself crying all the time for weeks/months even anticipating the event or your son leaving, it might be time to think about antidepressants.</p>
<p>We had a nifty solution–an hour of sitting on concrete bleachers through a torrential rainstorm while waiting for the ceremony to start; then, when the students finally got there (after marching half a mile through said torrential rainstorm from the HS), the added fun of thunder and lightning which promptly ended the whole graduation.</p>
<p>Any tears were pretty well hidden by our generally sodden state, though by the time we reunited under the bleachers, sadness was not anyone’s primary emotion.</p>
<p>On the whole, in retrospect, I don’t recommend this method.</p>
<p>I doubt very much that I will fall apart at graduation. It begins with what I hear is the world’s longest mass (and we aren’t even Catholic), then progresses to the longest graduation ceremony known to man. The class is less than 200 students, but every single award, scholarship, activity, etc. —all of which are printed in a program handed out to everyone attending — is read when the student is called.</p>
<p>D would love to be like Marion’s S & skip the whole thing —especially since she got kicked out of NHS for not getting the proper signatures on her community service form even though she did work the hours — so she will be NHS collar-less & will stand out among her friends! — and she will have a higher GPA than at least some of the valedictorians (need above a certain GPA but get a B & you no longer can be a val — fortunately, she does have friends in the same situation). However, if she skips the graduation she won’t be able to go to all-night party that night — so she’ll do it.</p>
<p>We probably would cry under other circumstances, but I am afraid we will probably be half asleep before they get to the T’s & our kid!!</p>
<p>I’ve reached that stage of life where I get tears in my eyes watching melodramatic movies. I had trouble speaking at my son’s Eagle Scout Court of Honor (a much less boring event than a high school graduation, by the way). Given that WashDadJr’s graduation is being held at a public venue about 25 miles from here, I will probably be irritated enough to control my emotions. Especially if we have to pay $15 for parking…</p>
<p>This is probably a thread hijacking, but why can’t they use the school football stadium or the gym? It’s not like the public venue is indoors – they can’t even use that excuse. Graduation at the football stadium, dinner at my son’s favorite Mexican restaurant, and then computer games with friends all night long. It would, in fact, be his idea of heaven. I went to high school in Huntington Beach, CA, and we spent the night at Disneyland after graduating. That was cool, except that my GF wanted to spend the night dancing and hanging with friends and wanted to go on rides…</p>
<p>Well, I sobbed uncontrollably throughout MY college graduation, and I was a student. I agree that you should let yourself off the hook. If you cry, you cry. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and you won’t be the only parent crying by a long shot. Moms and dads are entitled to cry!</p>
<p>At the kids’ graduations, I was worried about the same thing, but I was so busy trying to use the camera without messing up that it kept me distracted enough from crying ;).</p>
<p>I’ve seen S off to travel with H for a month without losing it; ditto his talent show performances. It’s just something about ceremonies that gets to me. When our family took a tour at William & Mary, the tour guide was describing Convocation, and said “And then, this is where the parents say goodbye to their freshman students” and I started crying. On a TOUR.</p>
<p>I like the camera idea though. Anything to occupy myself…</p>