Thinking of moving

Parent Cafe
1

<p>We have sort of had a tentative plan to move, once the older kids leave for college and we feel like all is in order financially. The main reason for the move originally was, we do not like our local schools, and, last year, when I had knee surgery, we realized that our big 2 story house might not be the best place to grow old in. </p>

<p>However, we have this neighbor boy who is a terror. Literally, he beats up our young child who has aspergers. He has been caught stealing our mail. He has broken our windows and lights on the house. AND, now he chopped down our saplings in the backyard. The police do nothing. The kid has been filming in to our backyard. Now last night, we found his camera mounted and running (red light was on), pointed in to our backyard. We called the police yet again. This time they said they would do some research and see if they can do anything. But, based on the past, I doubt they will do anything. We have heard from others with similar problems. </p>

<p>This boy is scary. He is underage, and scary. I picture him as the next Columbine shooter. His parents are out of control too. I do not feel safe at home. I do not even feel safe in my own backyard. I also have no clue where those videos are going. When relatives have visited (and a couple friends) and saw how this boy behaved, they have never come back. We cannot even have a BBQ in the backyard because of this boy. Yet, we seem to have no legal rights to stop him. </p>

<p>Stupidly, we even tried to put up cameras around our house to get HIM on tape doing this stuff, and we cannot get them to work!!! My husband is taking ulcer and blood pressure medicine now, and anti-anxiety because this is so bad. I am taking anti-anxiety.</p>

<p>I don’t want the kid to win, but I am wondering if it is time to cut our losses and go.</p>

<p>We are debt free, almost. All we have left are our own student loans. We have worked hard and saved and just not spent money, been frugal, to get to this point. Moving will be costly. And this is really not a good time to move, just before 2 children leave for college.</p>

<p>What would you do? Remember, we live in Texas, so, not much for laws to protect us. Apparently, we can shoot someone on our property (if we owned a gun) but not someone under 18 yrs old. He is under 18.</p>

2

<p>Wait, I thought you just had a substantial financial crisis, enough to think about postponing college? How could you afford a move?</p>

3

<p>Pizzagirl…the huge financial crisis…if you read the details, seems to be a scammer scamming my mother-in-law. My MIL also has my husband’s social security number as well as my children’s. She called my husband to try to get him to sign papers, which included signing our house over…claiming this man she has been dealing with, is trying to “save” us. We suspect she has already signed papers to sign over her house and such. And we have been concerned that she has given out our children’s and my husband’s SSN to this guy. However, credit checks and such show no activity with relation to our children or my husband. And, we decided that we would not pay for anything to dig her out of this situation, that would put our children’s education at risk. She is refusing to cooperate with us (i.e. tell us what papers she has signed, what money she has given to this guy or anything else, etc). So, we can only do what we need to protect ourselves.</p>

4

<p>Have you contacted a lawyer to see what your options are short of moving? Sounds like a few threatening letters regarding invasion of privacy, harassment and whatever else might be useful in getting the parents’ attention.</p>

<p>How old is this kid anyway? Is he likely to be leaving home any time soon?</p>

5

<p>Actually, my mother said we should do that. But, since the police already talked to them and it did not change, I was not thinking that would matter much. We did call the police yesterday over the mounted camera and expect to hear back from the police.</p>

6

<p>You don’t need to shoot him. Stealing your mail and chopping down your trees is beyond a nuisance- it is trespassing if nothing else.</p>

<p>Get a lawyer (find someone who will agree to take this on for a fixed fee so you don’t have the clock ticking) to get you an order of protection from this kid. If he comes within 50 feet of your son or your home, call 911 and he will be arrested for violating the order.</p>

<p>You don’t need to move or shoot him in order to prevent someone from stealing your mail.</p>

7

<p>Stealing your mail is a federal offense. Call the Post Office. The have their own investigative division.</p>

8

<p>Fences make great neighbors. Really, really tall fences are even better - maybe even one with sharpish tops that are not very fun to climb. Much cheaper than having to move. Secure a gate with a lock on the inside. Hang a sign on the outside of the fence, toward the neighbor, that says No Trespassing, or a similar message.</p>

9

<p>I think I would sit down and rationally consider what are the pros and cons of moving now. Are there younger children who will benefit from a different school system? How will the child with aspergers adjust to moving? Will the new house (presumably a ranch?) be big enough for the family now and still in keeping with future downsizing plans? </p>

<p>Sometimes, making the decision to leap is the hardest part. But if there are other issues besides Damien which would lead you to think moving now is worthwhile, I would seriously consider it.</p>

10

<p>I think maybe you should contemplate getting some kind of court order or restraining order that legally prevents this young man from coming onto your property, or within a certain distance of your youngest son. This would be more economical than a family move.</p>

11

<p>I don’t know what state you live in, but in California, the problem you are having with your neighbors would be considered a required disclosure in your real estate sales contract, and you could be sued for failing to disclose. So, it makes sense to try to solve the problem instead of or before moving. Check the real estate laws in your state.</p>

12

<p>Re the mail: You might be able to get a post office box and have your mail forwarded to it for a while. That would solve the immediate problem.</p>

13

<p>How about some nice big rat traps spread around your property? Or bear traps?</p>

14

<p>OP: You have a lot of very unusual problems. Sorry to say, but I’ll bet that their is at least one other side to your situations.</p>

15

<p>I agree with contacting the postal service. The inspectors are very professional and willing to help. it may also help move you to the front of the line for a PO box if there is a waiting list. At the very least you can have them hold the mail in the office.</p>

16

<p>Have you dealt with postal inspectors recently ? I think that the budget problems have greatly impacted their performance.</p>

17

<p>Axelrod, I know a few personally, and have seen them in action in my town recently. Budget or no, they are very good at their jobs.</p>

18

<p>What did the boy’s parents have to say when you discussed this with them?</p>

<p>There’s no way I’d let a neighbor child drive me out of my home.</p>

19

<p>Not in my recent experience (a few months ago). Nevertheless, in the instant case, OP will probably have to file a complaint with them as a predicate to obtaining a TRO (temporary restraining order).</p>

20

<p>Have you considered getting a pitt bull or German shepherd?</p>

<p>I grew up with a girl whose father traveled a lot and they had this scary full size poodle (seriously) as a guard dog. No one was getting close to this family. If I visited they had to be in the room with me if the dog was out and about or they locked it up. </p>

<p>In terms of setting up security cameras in your yard to catch this boy on film, hire someone. They do that for a living. Aim one at your mailbox.</p>