Thinking of transferring, dropping out....need help

<p>Basically, I'm a student at one of those coveted Ivies.</p>

<p>I went through some messed up stuff my freshman year...things the uni and their police force didn't handle well (don't want to get into too much detail but someone nearly killed me and the uni responded by just delaying his graduation date, the police responded by saying that since there were no eye witnesses there was no case, etc.). I developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it's been nearly impossible for me to focus or do well in classes. I've had some understanding professors, but understanding only goes so far.</p>

<p>So I went home for a year. I did internships, research, etc. and built up my resume and my mental health. All seemed well. My uni welcomed me back.</p>

<p>And after a semester back, I'm worse off than I was before. I started out the semester with A's, and was doing super well, and then I couldn't finish off well at all. I ended up with B's and a C and more depressed then I was when I arrived. I'm home now and my parents don't know what to do with me. On a whim I filed a petition to leave the uni...permanently.</p>

<p>I'm regretting picking this uni. I always have, and now I do even more. I don't see myself recovering enough to be able to return and actually focus/not have PTSD symptoms. I want to transfer but my GPA is hardly good enough to transfer anywhere. Even the other really good schools I got into when I was in hs won't accept me now because my GPA doesn't meet their minimum standards.</p>

<p>I should have tried transferring sooner but even then I didn't have much of a foundation at all. I'm really worried and don't know what to do. I don't want to leave my uni to get a community college degree but that's what it's looking at and I'm angry at myself for being so weak and pathetic. The only thing I have going for me is that I have A's in the classes I took outside of my uni...perhaps if I explain PTSD they'll understand...but I don't know.</p>

<p>I was a high school student with a super high SAT, extremely high GPA (valedictorian), nearly a thousand hours of community service, tons of awards, national/international accolaides, research experience, etc. In college, while I had a few successes, I went downhill...really fast. Also, it doesn't help that I turned down so many good unis. I feel like they will look at me like I'm pathetic and be happy I turned them down. </p>

<p>I just don't see much of a future for myself and I wish someone would magically pop out with all the answers.....</p>

<p>I think you need to build up your self esteem by recovering your confidence in yourself. You are capable of doing well. Go to a CC to build up your grades and persona. Transfer to a public school and do well there. In the long run, it doesn’t matter where you get your degree as long as you complete it. </p>

<p>The school doesn’t have to DEFINE you. You define yourself. Additionally, talk to peer MH services at your school. They usually have some great people at the CC who can help ease you back in; and there are some counselors familiar with PTSD. These are people who have experienced a myriad of issues who are there for you if you let them. Good luck!</p>

<p>I’ve been through counseling the past two years and have been played on SSRI’s to treat my PTSD and depression.</p>

<p>My uni didn’t have enough resources to meet the demands of someone with PTSD though. Basically they don’t have the ability to see anyone more than once a week. The number of students seeking therapy is very high (probably half) because the Ivy League sucks (that was tongue in cheek, but really).</p>

<p>You’re right that a different school will probably have better MH services. My school had a large group of students commit suicide in a very short period of time (a few days) so that gives you an idea what their commitment to mental health is (not much of one). </p>

<p>I don’t like peer counseling…I can’t tell a stranger my problems. It makes me uncomfortable.</p>

<p>Hi there! Thanks so much for sharing your story - I think it’s really brave to have typed all of that out, and I think it’s really great that you’re taking so many steps towards recovery.</p>

<p>My story is actually not that different from yours. I graduated high school in the top 10% of my class and matriculated at a prestigious top 20 world ranked university. </p>

<p>However, because of a similarly traumatic event that occurred right as I was graduating from high school, I found it difficult to cope emotionally with the difficulties of university. I suffered from severe depression, PTSD, and suicidal behavior, all of which, of course, played very poorly into my academic career. I stopped going to class, and failed or withdrew from most of my courses. Though I sought counseling with the university, they were pretty bad at handling it - I often slipped through the bureaucratic cracks, and I was put on academic probation throughout most of my time at my university, even though my academic adviser had promised that wouldn’t be the case. </p>

<p>Ultimately, I came home after the second year (I know - how I spent two whole years there, I don’t quite know), and decided to permanently withdraw. It was a really tough decision, and I knew I would be potentially sacrificing a good school for… well, the unknown. That was a rough conversation with the parents… By the time I came home for good, I had a 1.69 GPA at my university.</p>

<p>It’s now been a year and a half since I withdrew from school, and I am now enrolled as a student at the Harvard Extension School, which is an open-enrollment program that allows anyone to take classes in the evenings, by profs from Harvard and surrounding schools. I’ve taken classes by Harvard Kennedy profs, as well as some taught by profs from MIT, Tufts, BU, etc. It’s been an experience all its own, and while it’s been really scary, I wouldn’t trade in those experiences for anything. The classes are rigorous and challenging, and the mature student body (mostly professionals and ladies and gentlemen in their 30-50s) have lent their wealth of experience in so many ways to my schooling and learning process. It’s been a long road, but I now have a 3.7 GPA, and a healthy body and mind.</p>

<p>Yes, my future is totally uncertain. I am preparing to transfer to a 4-year institution this coming fall, and I’m nervous to discover how many schools will be willing to take a chance on a student like me. Many of the students in my year have already graduated, and many are in fulfilling internships or jobs that they are passionate about, while I am still in the process of figuring out how to get back into the college sphere. But I know I’ve made the right choices for myself, and while the short-term might seem difficult, it will all pay off in the long-term. </p>

<p>Sometimes, I wonder what life would have been like had I picked another college. But then I wouldn’t have traveled the road I’m on now - and the person I am now is one a younger me would truly have admired. I’m a lot stronger now than I was then, and much more prepared to face adversity head on. While I’m healthy on most days, I still have some bad days, and that’s okay, because I have a way to cope with them that works for me. And the schools I’m applying to all have the means necessary to help support someone with my background.</p>

<p>Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in pursuing this road. :slight_smile: If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or you just would like to talk, feel free to PM me! Best of luck!</p>

<p>trying: Please read above ^ and keep trying. You got into the IVY’s on your skills and determination, you can continue to do this as you’ve recognized your weaknesses, and that’s a huge part of your battle.<br>
The CC’s have returning students from all walks of life and they have good counselors of all ages. The state schools are larger and have great resources. Keep going. Please don’t lose faith in yourself.</p>

<p>My GPA is actually ok, not horrible…it’s a 2.5. Not great, but not so low that I’ll be put on probation. </p>

<p>I’m trying here…</p>

<p>right now my advisor doesn’t want me to make this decision and won’t fill out the paperwork until we talk. Same goes for those in the advising office.</p>

<p>I’m not going into too much detail but I actually haven’t exhausted every resource my uni has to offer. There’s more that can be done that I haven’t thought of or been told about.</p>

<p>Right now I’m not sure one whether I’m dropping out or transferring or staying, but there are definitely some things I need to consider, especially since I only have a few semesters left.</p>

<p>Thanks for your support, guys. This has been really helpful.</p>

<p>i would suggest talking to some type of guidance counsellor or a doctor (for your benefit), maybe a specialist could help you figure things out.</p>