I’ve been dealing with this feeling for many months, a simmering dread which seems to have it’s roots in the sense that something catastrophic is about to happen, either domestically, globally, or both. I guess you can say, I’m scared, though at the same time, I’m deeply embarrassed by that fact. What am I scared of? Well, for one thing, that the U.S. we’ve come to know to be the best democratic experiment the world has ever known is dying a death by a thousand cavalier cuts. The lack of integrity by many in government seems greater than at any point I can recall during my 60 yrs. on earth. It scares me that there are (IMO) too few politicians willing to put country above party affiliation and/or personal enrichment. How is America supposed to survive almost zero bi-partisan cooperation, and the most corrosive atmosphere of social and party tribalism In modern history?
I’m scared of the prospect of nuclear war, too. There don’t appear to be any adults capable of steering us away from impending doom. The heated rhetoric and Sabre rattling ricocheting back and forth between Washington and Pyongyang has me scared cooler heads won’t be in the position to stop a cascade that could end life on earth. Yes, I know it sounds irrational, but I still can’t shake this feeling. It’s making it hard to sleep, or plan with any sense of hope or purpose. I’m functioning pretty minimally, to tell the truth.
I guess what I want to know is, is anyone else dealing with this level of anxiety? I don’t want to get political because that would result in the thread being locked. But I would like to know how to restore my composure. I’m already on an antidepressant, and can’t afford the insurance co-pays for mental health counseling. Also, God and I haven’t been on very good terms in years, so I guess you could also say I’ve lost my faith.