<p>Look, I thought the quote about Home Depot and Lowes was funny. Maybe I have a twisted sense of humor. If I do, it appears I’m not alone on here.</p>
<p>Read again, we were talking about the title of this thread YOU created, not quote about Home Depot and Lowes.</p>
<p>I’m sorry the title of this thread offended. I’ll see if it can be changed.</p>
<p>Might be a good idea. There is certainly a lot of bad behavior committed by heterosexuals, but I sure like to believe it doesn’t automatically reflect on me!</p>
<p>I did. Actually I reported my own post as a “problem post” and asked if there is a way of changing the title of a thread.</p>
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I wish there were some lesbians hanging around my local Home Depot… ;)</p>
<p>Everyone belongs to some sort of a community and I don’t think that is a bad thing. For instance if you are a student at your school you, automatically, belong to the school community. If you get enough school community members committing illegal activities then it is going to cause people to raise their eyebrows and wonder about the school community. It goes the same for any neighborhood, athletic club, political party, religious group, work union, etc. It would probably apply to the “straight” community more except (I think) about 90% of the world’s population is straight so it’s a rather large group of people to make it a community. The ten percent of gay people in the world make it much more inclined to be seen as a community. </p>
<p>That’s just the way the world is. It can be good and bad but it’s there and it makes sense.</p>
<p>SmileDarling, I’ve heard the same mentality from racists.</p>
<p>'tisthetruth</p>
<p>that’s not a reasoned reply; it’s just name-calling.</p>
<p>Strictly speaking, some of these men are not gay but bisexual if one wants to use the best label; just want to throw that out as one poster used “straight” gay men. Bob Allen probably does like women (he just can’t go to women restroom).</p>
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<p>Wow, that was mean. Are you that hostile and judgmental with everyone or just people who have an opinion different from yours, although yours contradicts the dictionary? I don’t think anyone has ever inferred that I was a racist before. I now understand how painful it is to be labeled something. Is that the effect you were going for? </p>
<p>I don’t think that discussing the definition of a community is racism. Indirectly calling someone a racist may be your ace in the hole and perhaps an effective way of getting someone to stop thinking out loud around you but it won’t work with me. I don’t respond well to bullies.</p>
<p>Bad form 'tisthetruth. </p>
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<p><a href=“http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/community[/url]”>http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/community</a></p>
<p>SmileDarling,</p>
<p>I am not sure if 'tisthetruth was calling you that. It’s possible that he/she’s referring to people who made judgement on people because of few people’s action (part of the “reality” you described). One perfect example is rise of hate crimes against American Muslims after 9/11. It may be the way things operate sometime, but it doesn’t make it okay and educated people should be able to make a distinction. That maybe what 'tisthetruth meant.</p>
<p>I hope so, Sam Lee. Thanks for the post.</p>
<p>I didn’t call you racist. You came up with that conclusion on your own.</p>
<p>Anyway, racists try to justify their beliefs by saying that because the black people that they’ve seen do X, blacks as a whole are prone to doing X as well. The black people who did X should not reflect (and does not reflect, unless you perceive otherwise) on other black people. Likewise, the fact that gays in this article are having public sex does not mean that other gay people are prone to doing the same thing. These “gay” people having public sex should not reflect on other gay people either. My statement did not need justification because it was obvious.</p>
<p>Also, a “community” is a sociology term. There is no “community” unless the combination of these factors is present:
-Emotional connection
-Needs fulfillment
-Influence
-Membership/belonging
-Mission
-Reciprocal responsibility</p>
<p>The only relevant community I see here consists of the men having sex in public bathrooms. Certainly, their perceived “needs” are being fulfilled and they are fulfilling each other’s needs. In this sense, they have reciprocal responsibility. They have a mission (finding sex in public bathrooms and being relieved). If they frequent certain stops, they might even find a sense of belonging or membership. They certainly have an influence on each other sexually. The only thing missing might be emotional connection, but some of them might feel it.</p>
<p>This topic is actually sort of serious. Many of these men (and they are by and large all men) are actually sex addicts. Many seek gay sex, but whether they are in fact gay is debatable. Most live a straight life. </p>
<p>In my area, our parks actually have a pretty big problem with anonymous sex seekers. If you pay attention it is easy to spot the activity. We occasionally have some high profile “straight” person arrested for having (gay) sex with a stranger in a park.</p>
<p>Needless to say, this not only creates a very unappealing atmosphere in our parks, but it is a public health hazard due to STDs and, of course, possible HIV/AIDS transmission (especially because many of these people have unaware partners).</p>
<p>Personally, I’d like to see the cops crack down on it more than the one or two sweeps they do each summer, but I suppose they have better things to do.</p>
<p>I would like to point out that I used McMillan and Chavis’s as well as Chertok’s work in defining “community” in post 34.</p>
<p>I agree with weenie. I’ve seen this behavior on campus as well. There was this guy who came in who started moaning all of a sudden, to the shock of everyone else in the bathroom. I don’t think he was from my school.</p>
<p>I hate to even get involved at this point, but there is definitely a network out there, I don’t know whether you’d call it a community, or a network, or an “internet community”…whatever…</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.gay-guide.com/actmenu.htm[/url]”>http://www.gay-guide.com/actmenu.htm</a></p>
<p>by the way, I’m positive there’s the same sort of thing for straight people too. I knew a girl who belonged to a sort of “swingers” community with her husband and they frequented the same sort of websites, went to parties (orgies), had sex with anonymous people…</p>
<p>You can backpedal all you want 'tisthetruth but it was pretty clear that you were saying I have a view consistent with racism. I don’t know how much more obvious you could have made it. It doesn’t take a huge leap to reach the conclusion, “If that is her perception, then she must be _____.” If I came up with that conclusion then I’m not the only one - it is a reasonable one as evidenced by geomom’s post. </p>
<p>I am also very surprised that you don’t want to acknowledge that there is a gay and lesbian community and that perhaps the “men having sex in public bathrooms” are a sub-community, which you theorized them to be. Gay’s and Lesbians have festivals promoting gay pride and awareness and you deny that is a community? I think it’s admirable that people with like minded ideas unite and do their best to promote positive attitudes and acceptance of their fellow community members. </p>
<p>You can use your definition of community (probably lifted straight out of your Sociology 101 textbook) and I’ll use my more basic definition of a community that I got from a normal, everyday dictionary found in most libraries. They each say pretty much the same thing. I’m sure your average CCer could make a very strong argument for gay people having a community based on either definition so I’m not going to bother wasting my time. Not only is it easily proven but it’s a reasonable assumption. Almost every city guide book these days has a LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) section which seems to me an awful lot like a community section and who cares if it’s a community?</p>
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<p>I never said members of a community have to answer for other member’s behavior but it happens. Like I said originally - this can be good or bad depending on the situation. I happen to believe that people are stronger when they form community ties. It’s a gigantic reason why websites like Facebook and MySpace have become so popular. It’s another reason why people like to happily refer to the people who participate in this forum as the CC community. I’m proud to be apart of this community, whether or not some members are jacka*es.</p>
<p>weenie - just curious how you come to the conclusion “Most live a straight life.”</p>
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I’ve never really thought to describe most of these men as sex addicts. I would say that it’s an easy way for men to find sex with other men. The men who are living largely straight lives who are having this anonymous gay sex seem to be doing it to satisfy some inner homosexual desires. I don’t buy that they’re just looking for sex and are turning to men out of convenience or desparation. I’m sure they could find needy girls at bars or clubs if they truly wanted heterosexual sex. I see these people as men who want to have sex with men but can’t or don’t want to use clubs or bars to meet partners. Possible reasons that men who identify to the world as straight would do this would be the privacy, anonymity, facility, and quickness of one of these encounters. For openly gay or openly bisexual men, the reasons seem to be the thrill of public sex, convenience, or inability to find a partner in a conventional way.</p>