<p>LOL, we need more clubs for men to have sex in the bathrooms…that might solve the Home Depot problem.
(just trying to make funny)</p>
<p>I do have to wonder how many of those guys are in outwardly straight relationships. Like the guy down in Florida who just got busted for solicitation. So it might be that clubs would be no help for them, because they wouldn’t risk being seen.</p>
<p>In an attempt to shed more light and less heat –</p>
<p>There are an estimated 2 million mixed-orientation marriages in the United States. </p>
<p>While you let that figure sink in, consider that with the size of the CC “community” the odds are that there are some spouses and children on cc who are dealing with the pain of this issue – the deception, unexplained absences, marital mistreatment, and even serious health risks (for the spouse). And some spouses just do not know (that doesn’t mean they are stupid, their spouse is just living a lie). Consider the devastation of the McGreevey marriage, when the former Gov. of NJ dropped the “gay American” bomb on his wife, family and constituency. It wasn’t the sexual orientation, it was the lying…</p>
<p>So I would ask you to please be sensitive when discussing this. Pasting each other with epithets, joking around, or making suppositions based on no information is not funny or kind.</p>
<p>Just my 2 cents
ps, when I say “spouse”, that could refer to male or female</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>higherlead,</p>
<p>You must somehow have the tendency to go to the restrooms that have those. First of all, most of the ones that I’ve been to don’t have that. At least not so obviously; maybe you can say I didn’t look carefully but why would I? None of my straight friends/coworkers even brought that up, which tells me they haven’t even encounterd it too often either.<br>
Maybe you have some unusual interest to look for them? You seem to have unusually “deeper” knowledge on this than many people. I wonder why. What do Bob Allen and Ted Haggard have in common? They were anti-gay before they were busted. </p>
<p>By the way, those were done by VERY VERY small portion of gay (or bi or whatever) guys. Otherwise, if 10% of the men do that, all the public restrooms would be destroyed beyond recognition by now! That’s been my point. You have an ax to grind and try to paint otherwise! Stop pretending you aren’t trying to portray gays in the worst possible light.</p>
<p>AnudduhMom,</p>
<p>I know what you meant. As long as there are many people condemning gays/lesbians and viewing them as “sinful” or “abnormal” (like higherlead trying to imply the “gay gene” somehow makes one prone to cruise public restroom!)…or whatever, certain number of gays/bi are going to stay in their closets because of the shame and live a lie or double-life. Kudos to those that have the courage to be “out”.</p>
<p>No doubt that cruising in the restrooms is not a good thing. But it’s completely unfair to say all gays do it or it’s reflective of gays. At my campus there is a huge bathroom that has basically become taken over by men who have sex with men and most knowing outsiders don’t even bother to go (and ironically it’s in the biggest, oldest building on campus). Having read police crime logs and even written a report on that restroom, the vast majority of the men there are married and identify as straight. Maybe they’re gay, maybe they’re bi, but most don’t live a “gay lifestyle” - they are not identifying themselves as homosexuals. In fact most are probably homophobes or in denial.</p>
<p>I don’t doubt there are a lot of gay men, particularly older ones, cause serious damage to society. But the ones who cause the most damage are the closeted ones skulking in restrooms and molesting altar boys.</p>
<p>Who said that all Gays do it? The only thing I have heard on this board is that everyone who is doing it is a closeted homo living an outwardly straight lifestyle.</p>
<p>Personnally I don’t care who is doing it. Having sex and cruising for anonymous sex in a filthy public restroom or under a bush in the park is disgusting behaviour. All I want is for the cops to put an end to it by staking the places out, and arresting the people doing it. If they give them a little stick time in the process and put their picture in the paper all the better. It is perverted, and if you don’t think it is perverted then you are a pervert.</p>
<p>It would be nice to know, from a parental standpoint, where namaste goes to school and where this huge bathroom is that has been taken over by men having sex with men. And in the biggest, oldest building on campus at that(do they point this out to the visitors on the guided campus tour???). </p>
<p>Namaste, where is this place (just so we all know to stay away)?</p>
<p>Can you imagine going on a campus tour and inadvertently walking into a place like that?</p>
<p>Doubleplay: This bathroom, according to Namaste, has been taken over by MARRIED men who have sex with other men. I, too, am curious about this mystery school.</p>
<p>She’s at UCLA, I’m assuming. All you need to do to figure out someone’s school is go to their recent posts and see whether there is a large portion of posts in a single school’s forum.</p>
<p>I don’t think we should ask posters to give up pieces of identifying information like that.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Is this meant to imply that Namaste’s story is unlikely because married men would be unlikely on a college campus? Not every school is filled exclusively with 18-22 year old dependent students and not every school is a residential school or for undergraduates only. It may be outside your experience but it’s hardly mysterious.</p>
<p>Not to mention that not every person you see on campus is a student or even affiliated with the school.</p>
<p>“Doubleplay: This bathroom, according to Namaste, has been taken over by MARRIED men who have sex with other men. I, too, am curious about this mystery school.”</p>
<p>OK. Married, not married…</p>
<p>If Namaste doesn’t want to divulge the school or the location (which has been taken over by men having sex with men), that’s OK. (Although the school itself has already been revealed by someone else).</p>
<p>My point is, being the parents forum/cafe, it would be helpful, if someone is going to bring it up, to reveal where it is. Maybe I misunderstood the whole premise of this site, isn’t it to educate parents/students on the various schools? If so, let’s not be coy about it (“I know a college where thus and such goes on…but I’m not gonna tell where it is…”) How is that helpful?</p>
<p>First off, this is an off-topic thread about Home Depot. No one started it asking for information about selecting colleges with only unmarried students, married students who don’t philander, or only 100% heterosexual campus populations. </p>
<p>I don’t see how revealing the information would have any benefit to parents that would outweigh the potential harm. Anyone that invested in avoiding a school where there are gay people or people having sex is already going to have a well-defined short list of schools to choose from. </p>
<p>Suggesting that parents need to know this so they don’t accidentally blunder into the bathroom on a tour is really stretching it. If the issue is that well known, tour guides are going to know how to redirect parents away from that particular facility. </p>
<p>On the other hand, revealing the location of the school/bathroom in public on the Internet could easily lead to pickets, physical assaults on students, etc., given the hot-button nature of the issue. We tend to feel comfortable with each other here and let our guard down, but we have no idea how many lurkers there are here at CC, who they are or what their intentions are. I wouldn’t do anything that could potentially make a campus less safe just to indulge someone’s purient curiousity. </p>
<p>Not to mention that none of us is required to reveal identifying information about ourselves however “helpful” others might find it.</p>
<p>"First off, this is an off-topic thread about Home Depot. "</p>
<p>Fair enough. </p>
<p>But I’m still curious about this huge bathroom at **** where all these people are having sex. It would make a good news story for all those cable networks, wouldn’t it? ;)</p>
<p>Which is exactly why it shouldn’t be revealed. There’s probably a big bathroom like that at any number of schools, especially large urban commuter colleges where there’s a greater level of anonymity. And apparently there’s bathrooms like that all sorts of places we don’t know about and would never have guessed.</p>
<p>So why shine a spotlight on this one place and endanger its students over what’s apparently a common occurance at one’s local BigBox hardware store?</p>
<p>conyat, I’m just kidding.</p>
<p>OK, I won’t say it’s name, though anyone familiar with the school knows about this place. It’s under the radar but very well-known. With the exception of unsuspecting visitors, every guy on campus who doesn’t want to engage in sex knows to stay away from that bathroom. </p>
<p>But this isn’t limited that college, any decently large campus, especially public ones, will have restrooms dedicated to that behavior.</p>
<p>The most important thing to remember is most of these men, who are closeted, are giving stable, open gays a bad name.</p>
<p>So how do you know these are closeted Gay men living outwardly straight lives? Have you done a survey? Or does it simply better fit the politically correct line that if there is obviously selfdestructive behavior occuring those doing it must be the victims of a dysfunctional society?</p>
<p>It’s not so much a politically correct line - it’s the truth. They are encouraged by society/family to get married to women, have kids, nice house in suburbs, etc. But still have their urges and desires. Can’t go to clubs or bars or support groups because they’ll be seen, can’t date obviously, so a public anonymous place is the easiest, and often times ONLY outlet.</p>
<p>Therefore the best way to get rid of male public sex is to encourage tolerance and acceptance. Do some openly gay people go to public spots? Definately. But it would lower the number greatly if people didn’t have to hide their orientation, since open people have a million better ways to find love.</p>
<p>higherhead,</p>
<p>I don’t understand your point here. Why don’t you write your complain to your local police if you are so unsatisfied with the current effort? Whining about it here is useless. I personally wouldn’t want gangs doing whatever they want in my hood simply because the police are too busy to patrol restrooms. LOL!</p>
<p>doubleplay,
You seemed to be having fun with this instead of being concerned. Are you really that naively believing people would be doing such illegal thing right in front of your eyes? So did the CC adminstrator got back to you about the offensive title of this thread that you created?</p>