This is all SO Overwhelming!

Parent Cafe
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<p>I’ve spent hours looking at so many posts I’m going to need new a new prescription for these glasses I wear!</p>

<p>My oldest daughter is beginning her senior year. She has done very well in school and on the various test (SAT/2200, PSAT 212, 750+ on SAT Subject (3), and scores 5,5,4,4 on AP tests as a junior with 5 more AP this coming year). She abandoned joining marching band in HS as it is very competitive and they travel and she felt her academics would suffer. She is teaching herself guitar this summer, so still maintains interest in music (also taking Piano elective this coming year). She is NHS and is on Academic team (has enjoyed Jeapardy! with her Dad since she was very young). She is very quiet/reserved and has very sweet personality. And, I thought she was going to be a homebody!</p>

<p>She received the NMSQT letter, but NJ has a high cutoff so she may miss it. Unfortunately, that also means she may not get the scholarship funds that my company offers for students of employees who are finalists. We have respectible income, but live modestly (no expensive cars/houses here). She also has two sisters 2 and 4 years behind her for college so I’m really stressing over the financial aspects of all of this.</p>

<p>We are headed up to Quinnipiac University this weekend, and she would also like to checkout Northeastern and Brown while we’re up that way. She is thoroughly convinced she will not get into any Ivy. Frankly with her personality I’m surprised she is looking to go so far from home. I have been trying to get her to see the financial part of this, but the couselors in school are telling the kids NOT to make decisions based on money so this is why we are visiting these schools. (I agree to an extent, but some kids come out of school with rediculous debt and no good job awaiting them to repay it.)</p>

<p>She wants to study Communications/Journalism but I know next to nothing about that field and what little I do know tells me this is not right for her (the quiet/reserved child). She has changed her interest 4 times in last five years. In middle school she was all about the stock market. When she entered high school I thought she might be leaning towards my profession (engineering), but she dropped that rather quickly (must be watching Mom work all those long hours). Then she got really into graphics and even entered online competitions and won several; she is really very good at this. At this point she was interested in Brown and the RISD dual degree program. But, I think her SAT scores have made her change her mind to a career in writing (top scores there) as well as awards in school for her writing skills.</p>

<p>My thoughts are:
I think she is still not decided.
I would prefer she go to a school where she can switch her major and stay at same school if she decides after first year that Comm/Journalism is not for her.
I think she should apply to the best schools she can and write killer essays to go along with her good grades.
I don’t want her to leave home (I know this is wrong, but I had to write it down to be real with myself).</p>

<p>And, another angst of mine:
Northeastern - she was raised in suburbs, knows nothing about city living. I grew up in city and would be afraid for her and worry a lot. Anyone else send their ‘suburb raised’ daughter into the city at Northeastern in Boston???</p>

<p>Sorry for all the babble. What I’m really looking for is another parents help in sorting all of this out. Any advice? Thanks in advance!</p>

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<p>Can’t help you with most of this but I will tell you that I let my very small town girl live a semester in Buenos Aires (pop. around 11 million) and she did great. Kids will surprise you. Yes, you will worry but think how she will grow. Also, that shy, reserved girl will gain some confidence when she sees that she can handle the world without you. Keep looking at schools and the right one will come. Perhaps you two can find a compromise. Oh, and I agree: find a school where she can change her major fairly easily. Most freshmen have no clue what they want to do.</p>

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<ol>
<li><p>Relax. College admissions is a fun and exhilarating adventure.</p></li>
<li><p>What are her grades and and class rank? If they are in line with her excellent test scores, I wouldn’t count her out for some of the Ivys. And depending on your circumstances they may provide excellent financial aid.</p></li>
</ol>

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<p>With your daughter’s statistics, I think you might be wasting your time at Quinnipiac. I imagine their communications offerings are what put the school on your radar, but as you’ve suggested, your daughter, like so many others, is likely to change her mind about her major and should be at a school that offers a large variety of strong departments. I personally think that Quinnipiac’s PR far outstrips its reality. At least approach the school with a clear idea of the average stats of the students and a bit of a skeptical eye.</p>

<p>Your daughter seems like a strong candidate for the Honors program at Northeastern. </p>

<p>I was a shy, quiet kid who grew up in a small, parochial city. I attended college 20 minutes outside of Boston, often going into town on the weekends, and I loved it. Graduate school took me to New York City, a place few of my high school friends had even visited (and this was back when NYC was a lot less safe and a lot grittier than it is now). My big-city experiences were invaluable and I adapted very quickly. I actually feel that all people should live in big city at some point during their lives. City life really gives one a whole new perspective on the world. </p>

<p>Visiting some city colleges should give your daughter a sense of how comfortable she would be. She may find that a school adjacent to a city and with a traditional campus suits her best (think Tufts or BC), or she may like a city school with a campus like Northeastern. The schools that have minimal campuses and are very integrated into the city streets (think BU and NYU) would probably be the most daunting.</p>

<p>And keep in mind that even if she attends a college only an hour away, she’ll still be “leaving home” in every meaningful sense of the term!</p>

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<p>Hi and welcome to CC. Lots of good sources of information here. For example, check out the thread on Parents Forum for schools with good merit aid. Some quick advice: </p>

<ol>
<li><p>Don’t inject yourself too much in D’s college search. Don’t pick majors, don’t assume she can’t handle a city…Let her do research and visit and come to her own conclusions.</p></li>
<li><p>Pay attention to costs and financial aid/ merit aid policies at all colleges of interest. They vary a lot. Some have separate applications for merit scholarships and require essays. Watch the deadlines. </p></li>
<li><p>There are admission reaches and financial reaches. It’s one thing to get admitted, but if the cost of attendance is more than you can afford to pay out of pocket, it’s not a win. Have a very clear idea what you can afford to pay, how much you would be willing to let your D take out in loans, and apply to a range of colleges accordingly. Go to the Parents Forum and read through the thread on colleges with good merit aid. Very enlightening. </p></li>
<li><p>Don’t assume that any college is too far above your D’s reach or too far below her level, since it’s too soon to tell what she will consider the best fit. And there is personal/academic fit and financial fit (affordability) and that can’t be ignored. So visit Quinnipiac, NE, and Brown since these have caught her interest. Quinn and NE may offer her sizable merit scholarships. Brown doesn’t offer merit aid, but the financial aid might work for your family…visiting will give her clues as to what she should really be focusing on in her search. </p></li>
<li><p>Make sure there’s a safety she would really like to attend. It’s always easy to fall in love with the reaches. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>Good luck and have fun.</p>

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<p>I went to an urban school, and my D went from our suburbs to the heart of a city for school. It was fine.</p>

<p>Are you sure your employer only gives scholarships to NM finalists? That was the impression I had of H’s employer, but D received one even though she wasn’t even commended. It’s not huge, but every little bit helps!</p>

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<p>If she’s living on campus, Northeastern is actually a pretty safe campus. The NUPD puts a lot of effort into making it so. Of course, she would have to learn how to be safe when venturing off-campus, but assuming that she plans to ever spend time in a city, she would have to do that at some point anyway.</p>

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<p>Gotta love this part of the OP. Is the counselor planning to pay the college bills?</p>

<p>Re: this college search for the OP…I agree. Time to relax and have some fun and let your D do some exploring. I will say…we live in a RURAL environment and one of our kids went to school in Boston and LOVED it. The other is at an urban school in CA. They both wanted to experience city living and all it had to offer. I can tell you that Boston is a fabulous city for young people in general…and there are TONS of college students there. </p>

<p>I agree that Northeastern is worth a good look. If your daughter is interested in Communications related fields, why not look at Emerson also as long as you are in the neighborhood.</p>

<p>Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with checking out Quinnipiac. The school has some fine programs and your daughter may just like the location and the school itself.</p>

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<p>My son applied to 10 of top 50 schools. In general as the ranking of the school went down the merit$$ offerings increased. I was happy he had so many choices and he was then able to cross schools of the list pretty quickly.Offerings ranged from full pay to full ride.</p>

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<p>I would like to invite you over to the parents forum (as opposed to this, the parents cafe) and join the '10 parents thread, which began a year ago this week! <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/544629-parents-class-2010-a.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/544629-parents-class-2010-a.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>It’s a great collection of experienced parents, first-time parents like us and several kids who all use the thread to get out our angst so that we don’t let it show in front of our loved ones! :)</p>

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<p>My own D goes to Northeastern, and likes it, but from what you say about your D, NEU may not be a good place. One, it’s not the best school for the humanities. Two, it’s not the best school to be in if you’re likely to change your major. That said, I don’t think a suburban kid would have a problem at NEU. The school is in an urban area, but it does have its own campus, and most of the students live either on, or just a couple of blocks away, from the campus.</p>

<p>By the way, let her figure out on her own that journalism probably isn’t the right path. Once she gets into a program filled with very assertive, outgoing kids – the kind that do best in journalism – she’ll figure it out for herself.</p>

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<p>I think when the guidance counselors say to the kids (and parents) to not look at the cost of the college, they mean that the sticker price is often not what you pay. And that you should NOT decide to look at a college that has everything you want if the sticker price is high. Looking is good.</p>

<p>Part II of that comment should be to have a bottom line in mind. We told our older kids (and are now telling #3) that we could afford up to X dollars and after that they would have to take out loans. They could apply anywhere they wanted but the fin aid package was going to play a big part in the final decision.</p>

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<p>My son is going into his junior (fourth year) at Northeastern. I would disagree that Northeastern is a good fit for your daughter. The coop program is geared toward students who have a good grasp of what field they want to study. If she started out in Journalism/Communications and then wanted to switch it could be difficult.<br>
Lots of suburban girls go to NEU and they seem to do fine with the city aspect of it. As was pointed out, NEU is a fairly safe campus. The kids get a thorough orientation and are given pretty good guidelines on which areas to stay away from (off campus) and basic safety tips.
Northeastern does not meet 100% of need. Your D would likely see some merit aid but it caps at about 16K. That brings the COA down to 25K per year.
What about some of the larger schools in New England that would offer lots of different majors…UConn?</p>

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<p>I would discuss this advice with the powers that be at your school. It’s the worse advice possible and will result in many of the painful posts by kids and parents we read here when decisions come out. </p>

<p>Financial reality has to play a big role from the start of list creation.</p>