Having been through 3 years and 2 kids here, I’m beginning to understand the sweet pain of early May. All the currents around here right now…
• Kids who did everything right and got into the schools they worked so hard to win. They’re brimming over with joy and excitement…talking over what dorm is best and whether they should bring a bike to campus and is it true that X dining hall is better than Y.
• Then there are the kids who did everything right and didn’t get into any school they wanted/imagined. More and more, I realize the role luck plays here….in a universe of right time/right place, it’s just as likely to miss it by a step. They’re just as qualified, just as worthy (and as everyone points out, the back-up is going to work out but its hard to feel that in May….those feelings are waiting for September…).
• Let’s not forget the kids who did get into the desired schools and now can’t pay for it and turned them down on May 1. I find these letters really hard to read.
• And you have the kids waiting on the wait lists…some ecstatic over the past few days…others heartbroken again.
• And playing against the backdrop of all of this, new kids pushing aside the veterans in the message boards and asking for chances and help with college lists. All of them so fresh & optimistic & sure of their path…it’s like that last scene in All About Eve…. When Eve returns to the hotel room after winning some big award and “phoebe” is there…the eager high schooler who imagines herself the next Eve.
Sigh.
And then there are the parents like me, for whom all of this is very bittersweet, since I have two kids thriving in college and one who is brilliant but will probably never finish his college degree.
And good point that the kids above…even the happy ones…10 to 15% of them will be back next year with a fresh unhappiness…but May…May is the time of great optimism so I won’t look ahead yet…
Yeah, this is an interesting month. A few others are fascinating too:
LateAugust/early September has something for everyone, with the early birds finalizing their lists and the late birds in a panic about where to apply & worrying about their last chances to raise sat/act. Prestige hounds predicting the USNews rankings. Freshmen nervous about leaving the nest, & empty nesters overwhelmed with sadness or relief.
March with it’s joy & sorrow over the thickness of envelopes and the news from admissions portals.
Tension over decisions & financial aid in April was horrible but interesting.
I could also do without the holiday anxiety blending with application deadlines in late December.
Your glass is half full, @SouthernHope Early March is by far my favorite time here, when everyone is bursting with anticipation and excitement. Not many dreams have yet been dashed. I actually am not wild about this time of year, because I despair over all the “please help with my appeal” posts. I also am not wild about Sep and October, because there are so many gut wrenching threads in the College Life forum from kids who are all having a tough time settling in. I like July, when the questions run the gamut and no one is freaking out about anything.
Other than when it happens to your own, there is nothing on earth more completely satisfying, enjoyable and emotional than watching kids receive their acceptances (3 times this year - all because of random release times and EC’s/sports). The downside is bad (and now expected), but it’s more than made up for by the exhilaration of an acceptance. You can literally see the pressure release. It should never have come to this, but its as if you witness an 18 year-old try a key in a door opens to the rest of their lives.
[apologies to unintended insensitive tone following the less happy posts above…]
On a happier note, I love May this year because our younger daughter is so happy at her school she’s counting the days until she goes back in August. And she made all A-/As this semester! She’s making better grades than she did in high school.
We experienced finding out that our NMSF son, with a nice scholarship, barely passed anything. It’s back to square one; we’ve learned that the prospect of writing a paper usually makes him shut down. This didn’t start until his sophomore year of high school, so we chalked it up to being lazy. It’s easy to fall through the cracks when a person is brilliant in some areas but barely functional in others. We’re working on setting up an evaluation for him; it wasn’t caught in high school, but for a 19 year old it isn’t too late either.
BTW, I don’t begrudge anyone their good news. Our kid will get there, just by a different route.
I don’t even get to wait until July or August to get sad. DS graduated from high school yesterday and leaves for his summer research opportunity at the university in three weeks. Some days, I think everything happening so fast is all that’s keeping me from losing it (there’s no time when there are so many logistics to keep up with!) and then there are days where he’ll say something he doesn’t even think is that significant but hit me in the feels so hard that the pesky tears are harder to banish.
I agree, @OHMomof2 . And I have seen a lot of very obnoxious threads by kids whining about how they ONLY got into a Top 25 school. Early April is not a favorite time.
^ Yes, I did read a few threads like that.
Usually around this time when the HS is finishing the semester, there are a lot of fake posts in the forum. I just read a couple today. There are also a few advertisement posts in the last couple weeks like suggesting an online tutor service.
In addition, there are a lot of post on waitlist too. Some got in while others are eagerly waiting for miracle.
@mstomper, hang in there. This semester was the first time DS broke through the paralysis when forced to write a paper of any length. It wasn’t easy, and many professionals were involved. There are still hurdles remaining, but I can’t tell you how gratifying it was to see him do what he’s capable of doing a few times.
Early March is by far my favorite time here, when everyone is bursting with anticipation and excitement. Not many dreams have yet been dashed. I actually am not wild about this time of year, because I despair over all the “please help with my appeal” posts. I also am not wild about Sep and October, because there are so many gut wrenching threads in the College Life forum from kids who are all having a tough time settling in. I like July, when the questions run the gamut and no one is freaking out about anything.