<p>I’ve been called ugly since age 9. I 'm almost 18 and it still happens. It happens weekly. I dont see how i’m ugly. I’ve had gfs and they said i’m good looking. other ppl have complimented my looks before but i generally get called ugly. I feel insecure at all times. what should i do? am i ugly? whats wrong with my face?</p>
<p>… it doesn’t matter because your personality shines through this wonderful post.</p>
<p>The photo just deleted showed an attractive young man, of average weight, suitably dressed with regular features and no problem features.</p>
<p>We will let the thread continue in order to discuss, in general, why anyone would call anyone else ugly; or the feelings that word engenders; or strategies on what to do about it. </p>
<p>The photo I deleted, as Terms of Service allows NO PHOTOS, was of a very decent looking person. I can’t imagine why anyone would make such a comment to anyone, and certainly not to that picture. "nuff said?</p>
<p>Let’s see if this thread stays on track. If so, it can stay up.</p>
<p>No. You’re not. No one under the age of 40 (I’m 48) is ugly. If you are healthy, clean, and ordinary, you aren’t ugly. You’ve had gfs so there must be something going on with you beyond Hollywood looks. And believe me, I’ve met some really gorgeous guys who were big fat jerks because they’ve been coasting on their faces their whole lives. The best men aren’t nec. the best-looking and the best girls figure that out right quick.</p>
<p>Do you mind if I ask under what circumstance when you were called ugly? I have met a lot of ugly people, but it would never cross my mind to say it out loud. I am just curious to know why would someone call you ugly (when they are mad at you? teasing?).</p>
<p>I agree that a guy doesn’t have to be wildly handsome to attract girls at all! Just look around. </p>
<p>Are the people who call you ugly other guys, I know guys can be pretty “brutal” when they are horsing around with each other.</p>
<p>Also I have never heard anyone call another person ugly to their faces, ever, except the a fore mentioned guy stuff.</p>
<p>You are a great looking guy and I cannot imagine how anyone would consider you to be “ugly.”</p>
<p>Could it be that the term “ugly” is the current vernacular of young folks for attractive? From what my kids tell me, many words have a opposite, or a nearly opposite meaning than the common definition. Could they actually be saying that you are darned good looking? </p>
<p>Another possibility is that you have an attitude that conveys that you consider yourself handsome or “all that” and some people want to take you down a notch or two. In other words, they’re probably jealous of your good looks!</p>
<p>futuresuccess, you sound like my son. </p>
<p>I’m not just saying this because I’m his mom, but he really is model-attractive. Others have told me the same, sometimes not even realizing they were talking to his mother. But why does my son think he’s ugly? It’s because he’s so vulnerable. He wants approval from his peers and they aren’t kind. In fact, they go out of their way to mock him, tease him, tell him he needs to change his clothes, take voice lessons, etc. I wish he’d see how attractive he could be, but his low self-esteem and poor confidance clouds that mirror.</p>
<p>So how do you overcome this? Think of all the things you do well and stop listening to others who want to bring you down.</p>
<p>Just a note, boys can have body dysmorphic disorder also.</p>
<p>I think it’s very strange that this young person gets told this on some kind of regular basis.</p>
<p>I know that siblings will sometimes say such thing when they aren’t true…I was skinny as a teen, yet my older bro would call me fat. LOL. </p>
<p>But, I can’t understand why at this kid’s age, friends and such are saying that he’s ugly…that’s just weird to me. As a matter of fact, I think this generation is pretty good about calling all of their friends…beautiful. Just read some Facebook walls…or comments on FB photos…“you’re so beautiful”…“you’re so hot”…etc, etc…even on pics of just average looking kids…which is great!</p>
<p>Does it come more from family than friends? Some families have patterns of calling their own relatives names, repeatedly, and for no good reason whatsoever! (examples: bum! lazy! crazy!). Sometimes there are episodes in a family generations back that caused one negative genetic quality to become a hyperfocus of that family. For example, a mental disorder in one sibling generations back causes all the other sibs to worry if they are also inclined; in the next generation, they fear it most so name it most in their offspring. (oh, he got the crazy gene!). People notice what they fear, and even when it’s not there it’s on their minds. Was someone generations back remarkably ugly, so it got into the family folklore? I’ve seen that happen. Very unfair. </p>
<p>If so, it’s a pattern you can break when you have your own children.</p>
<p>futuresuccess,
i am sorry anyone has said you are ugly. i am quite sure you’re not. their saying so says far more about their ugliness than it says anything at all about you.
plus, there are many kinds of attractive men, and the majority of those who are most attractive are not text-book “pretty”. case-in-point: matt damon, winner of sexiest-man-alive contest, incredibly good-looking, but often called ugly. beauty is in the eye of the beholder.</p>
<p>Yeah, who are these bozos who have called you ugly all these years? You certainly don’t need them in your life. Ditch them ASAP (that goes for family members, too) and spend more time with people who give you good feelings.</p>
<p>I’ve met superficially beautiful people who became ugly—not just metaphorically, but truly ugly to look at—once I got to know them, and vice-versa. The way you look actually has very little to do with how attractive you are. Personality doesn’t just trump looks. It changes them. You are quite literally as beautiful as you feel.</p>
<p>Think carefully about what groups/types of people call you “ugly” or other unkind names or labels and in what situations. Old Chinese custom is to label things they highly prize or care about in a derogatory manner so that the Gods won’t take these valuables, but that doesn’t sound at all like your situation.</p>
<p>If it’s family and friends that you care about who are calling you this, take one that you really trust aside and ASK why they are saying this as it is very hurtful. If it’s others, think about the situation and what’s going on. Are they taunting you because you are threatening them in some way and they’re jealous? Do they tease others? Think about context and try to figure out what’s going on.</p>
<p>I agree that there are toxic people that you need to spend minimal (or better yet NO) time with, especially if they are saying/doing things that are hurtful to you and ohters.</p>
<p>Who Are You Calling Ugly? (NY Times)
<a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/13/fashion/13DOGS.html[/url]”>http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/13/fashion/13DOGS.html</a></p>
<p>OP–playing the devils advocate here–Could some of these comments come from something you did?</p>
<p>Im super late. I doubt there will be a response but I’m not sure why i was labeled ugly. I look in the mirror and dont see anything wrong.</p>