<p>Well, my parents are pretty psycho. My parents are divorced and I was at my mom’s house yesterday. My dad texted me and told me to call him. I did, and he said that he took my $1,000 I got from a scholarship I got a few weeks ago to buy my stepmom a new computer. He said he’s doing this because my stepmom gave me a computer (it was old… and fell apart, but he doesn’t believe that. I never told him because I knew they’d blame me.) and some other reasons that don’t make sense. Do any of you know how small claims court goes? Would that work to get my scholarship money back if my dad took the money from a joint account? I signed the check if that matters. I’m so confused. :(</p>
<p>I know the story makes no sense… nothing makes sense to me, either. :)</p>
<p>Horrible story, and it’s so unfortunate that you got caught in this mess.</p>
<p>Is it possible you could get the organization that gave you the scholarship to “embarass” your Dad into giving you the money back so that you can get the computer?</p>
<p>Steven - IMHO $1000 makes this a cheap lesson in what you can expect from your family. Be the bigger man here (and the smarter one) — smile and say “OK Dad.” Then move on with your life.</p>
<p>Not practical enough? OK. The money was in a joint account and one of owners withdrew the money. Unethical? Yes. Illegal? No. Likely outcome if you report this to the scholarship agency? They will request that YOU repay the money … YOU, not your Dad. </p>
<p>I’m sorry this happened. But I believe that in time you will see the episode as a blessing.</p>
<p>Steven I am sorry that your dad did this to you. As Newhope said take this as a lesson about how your dad is. Even tho the check was in your name you signed it into a joint checking account, and that makes it both account owners money. It sucks but that is the way it is. Right now get your own checking account some where and get your money out of that account or you are likely to see more money that was given to you go to someone else.</p>
<p>^Are you guys so sure he would not win this in small claims court? He seems to have a text proving it is indeed his scholarship money he father chose to use for another purpose. I think judges could be very sympathetic and also understand how easy it would be to take advantage of a young person without his own account.</p>
<p>First, take steps to separate your money into your own account. Personally I’d try the small claims court route. It’s usually quite easy, just Google it for your area for instructions.</p>
<p>Yes, get your own bank account! It’s easy. Just walk into the bank with I.D., and they’ll walk you through the rest in ten minutes.</p>
<p>Do you rely on your father for money, shelter, clothing? If so, then maybe taking him to court would cause more trouble that it’s worth. What he did was wrong, but if he is that careless with your money, he might stop supporting you in other ways as punishment.</p>
<p>Don’t trust him with your money again, please.</p>
<p>I’d try a “demand” letter first, if I were going the small claims court route. Many people have a lawyer write a letter like that (do this or I’ll sue you) to give the person a chance to make it right before you actually bring down the long arm of the law into play. </p>
<p>You could conceivable write this kind of letter yourself. You wouldn’t have to threaten legal action, but could explain why you think this action is unfair and ask him to return the money to the account. If the computer was a gift, then he has no right to take your money to reimburse himself for the gift. If the computer was on loan, then you can return the computer.</p>
<p>One thing you have to keep in mind–you could end up completely losing your relationship with your dad if you do sue him. If you need any info from him in the future or have him send tax returns for financial aid–he could make your life difficult.</p>
<p>All I am saying is to weigh your options carefully.</p>
<p>Who’s going to be paying for college? Something to keep in mind before acting in haste. Might your actions could cause you to lose more than $1000?</p>
<p>Warm hugs and congratulations on your scholarship. Would you care to say where you’re going to college so we can congratulate you on that, too? Also, financial arrangements vary from college to college, and you might get advice that is more geared to the school.</p>
<p>I’m with the others in insisting you have your own bank account. Son #1 has an account with his college’s credit union, he got it immediately upon acceptance. He has a debit card, credit card (for zipcar!), and does all transactions with it. Son #2 got a Student Account through “large national bank” (okay, B of A, but this isn’t an advert), bc there are ATMs that he can use fee-free anywhere, and no minimum balance, I believe. He stashed all his scholarship money and graduation present checks in there. I don’t even have any account info, I don’t think his dad does either. You can get a Student Account w/out your parents. You can start it on-line, and since you are a joint account-holder, you should transfer all your money into it.</p>
<p>You know yourself that your dad acted improperly. Parents do some bone-headed things sometimes, not realizing the long-term effects. But you know now to keep track of your own money carefully, and become financially independent as soon as you can.</p>
<p>If you’re over 18, by all means get your own bank account. If you’re not yet 18, I’m not sure. My daughter (17) was not allowed to open an account in her name only, so check with various banks about their policies.</p>
<p>I agree with the others that it might be counterproductive to fight your dad over that $1000. What a jerk to do that without your cooperation.</p>
<p>My husband’s parents did something like that to him. A relative had set up a small account to help him with college costs, and his parents took it and spent it without telling him. It’s a real betrayal of trust.</p>
<p>Don’t let your father anywhere near your money from here on out, but do it discreetly. It will be some number of years, yet, before you are completely independent of them financially, emotionally, etc.</p>
Electronic evidence is ephemeral and easily tampered with… building a case on a text message would be pretty sketchy. Especially given that the text only said something like, “Call me.” Dear Old Jerkwad Dad gave the news of his theft verbally (note: I say “theft” in a moral sense, not in a legal one – if dad was a signer on the account, it wasn’t theft).</p>
<p>
I suppose there’s Dr. Phil…</p>
<p>xSteven, I’m sorry that I don’t have any better advice for you than what’s already been posted here. If you can’t get an account in your own name and you can’t trust your mom to help you set up a student account, you might consider asking the agencies that award any future scholarships to send the money directly to your school for your bookstore account (where you typically could have used the money to buy a computer of your own). Or, if it’s a check made out to you, don’t deposit it – cash it.</p>
<p>If your dad actually has some kind of reasonable nature, you might check your college’s Web site for campus computing standards and then tell him that you’ll need to swap computers back with the stepmom because the computer she “gave” you is unsupported on campus. I don’t know what you meant when you said the computer “fell apart” – this isn’t typical of computers – unless you’re talking about having dropped a laptop or something? Obviously you’d have to return the other computer in working condition for this to fly, if it could fly at all.</p>
<p>$1,000 is a really big number when one is 17-18. In the long view, sad to say that this really is a pretty cheap lesson.</p>
<p>geek_mom, I think text messages can and are used as evidence (believe it or not, your cell provider keeps a copy of them all), but I agree that a “call me” text cannot prove anything.</p>
<p>OP, I’m really sorry that your dad acted as such an immature person, and I second all the posters who recommended looking into opening a personal bank account if you can. Is your dad contributing any funds towards your education? Would going after him in small claims court or even threatening him in any way cause you to lose his monetary support? Can you foot your tuition bill without that money? These are some questions to think about.</p>
<p>I don’t know if the original poster has his own account or not. It is possible that the Dad took the check from a counter or something. Can this be clarified?</p>
<p>The real point here is that the scholarship was given to help pay for college. The Dad should have to pay back to the scholarship-granter the $1,000 given to the son, if it is not being used for the proper purpose.</p>
<p>If I were the son, I would actually call the police or legal aid to get advice on the legality of this action.</p>
<p>Is this Dad dangerous? How would he retaliate?</p>
<p>The son needs to get the $1,000 back asap and needs to send it directly to the college. That is what most colleges ask, and I believe the scholarship granters often want documentation that the money has been sent.</p>
<p>If the account is indeed joint, and still has at least $1,000 in it, then $1,000 could be sent to the colleges in lieu of the actual scholarship check. It can be sent as a money order, too. The Dad needs to cooperate with the son to do that asap, or there should be some consequence.</p>
<p>Just my opinion.</p>
<p>That scholarship money could have gone to someone else who would use it for the proper purpose. Most scholarships involve donations. This is a crime against those donors and the granting agency, and might be termed fraud.</p>
<p>I saw as show the other night where a text message was the basis of a jury’s decision to convict a young girl of murder.</p>
<p>I do agree that it’s a tough thing to sue a parent and the many negatives may not be worth it. However, wow, just wow, a parent taking college funds!</p>
<p>You’d be amazed at the crap parents pull with their kids’ college money, particularly if said parents never went to college themselves.</p>
<p>My wife’s parents flat-out refused to fill out financial aid forms, even though their income was low enough that the resulting grants would have completely paid for college. Fortunately my wife has a scholarship that covered much of the cost anyway. Their attitude was that it was none of the school’s business how much money they made. Needless to say, they had never set foot on a college campus.</p>
<p>They still talk about their grandkids’ future as though college is optional. I’m sure if my wife had had a $1,000 scholarship in a joint account, they would have spent it. It just wasn’t in their values to care.</p>
<p>Thank you guys so much for all of your concern and advice, I really do appreciate it.
At everyone asking if it is worth it to go after it, I’d say yes. I honestly don’t plan on having a relationship with him after I go off to college, because he’s very manipulative and he sleeps and breathes mental abuse/manipulation tactics. I can’t deal with him anymore. In fact, doing this would probably push him to let me live with my mom, which I already want to do anyway.</p>
<p>More on the computer – a hinge had popped out, and a few weeks later the uneven balance of the computer caused the other hinge to bust, I guess. I did plan on buying a laptop with that money, though, but:</p>
<p>a.) I probably won’t like the laptop they’re forcing on me, or
b.) They WILL find some reason to not give me the laptop, because that’s the kind of people they are.</p>
<p>I’m going to the bank tomorrow to see if I’m allowed to withdrawal whatever money is left. I’ll keep you all updated if you’d like. Thank you once again for all of your advice, I’ll weigh everything carefully. =)</p>