I wear hearing aids and am great at reading lips on a one on one.
This has limited my future in more ways than others understand. After a few hours of communicating, I am physically exhausted. Because I do so well others, such as H, does not get the effort that it takes.
I volunteered at a Hospice center for a few years but the fact was I could not hear the others and sometimes felt they were annoyed with me.
Anyone else struggling? And yes, I have the top notch devices available on the market.
I still work as a therapist but limit my day to 3-4 hours of sessions as it is so taxing.
There are many classes and groups that would not make sense for me to try as I would be lost. (and have).
The upside it that I am good at being alone much of the time. Still, actually, I believe it is as hard for my loved ones as it is for me.
Thanks for this perspective. My folks can’t hear well and H has trouble with some frequencies as well as loud noises. Such sounds cause him physical pain due to nerve damage, so he keeps earplugs handy. He hasn’t yet explored hearing aids but I suspect he will need them sooner than later.
My folks were wearing them for awhile. Mom abandoned hers after a few months. She said they didn’t help and she could never remember to change the batteries and had trouble inserting them. Dad used his for a few years but I haven’t seen him wearing them recently–not sure if purposely abandoned or lost them or forgot he has them entirely.
It’s tiring talking to them because unless they are facing you and you make sure they hear and understand, they probably didn’t hear. I feel it’s isolating them but don’t know what more to do.
H gets annoyed when he can’t hear or understand or loud noises, so I sometimes get irked having to repeat. I’m not sure when he will consent to hearing testing and haven’t broached it.
I have hearing loss in both ears and wear aids. One ear is considered severe, that was caused by a virus (the doc thinks), and the loss was progressive over 15 years until now it’s pretty bad. The other ear’s loss was caused by an Acoustic Neuroma. It’s still very good actually, except for high frequencies. the audiologist told me hearing an aid in that ear would help the strain from using the other. I finally relented and now wear HA in both ears. I do fairly well.
I don’t have to read lips per se…but we all unconsciously read lips…even if you hear well. I have a harder time when someone is in the other room, or my back is turned, I know how frustrating it is for DH to have to repeat himself, as I would get annoyed at my Dad.
I have difficulty at loud parties or restaurants. I’m physically done with concentrating in those environments after 3 hours Max. My HA are the kind that work together and zero in on speech and decrease background noise, so that helps. They are awesome! I also have a minitek that I hook up to the TV, it turns my HA into a sound system of sorts…and I hear everything loud and clear.
Have you spoken with your audiologist about alternatives? There are other devices out there besides HA.
Himom…it is really hard to accept the fact you need HA. When my first ear was going bad at age 38, I balked. When I was about 45 my ENT told me if I didn’t start wearing one in that ear, I would lose my speech discrimination. It’s a muscle, you use it or lose it. I would hear noise, but not speech. That’s why so many elderly can’t use HA because they waited so long. I would encourage your husband. He will love them, when he gets passed the feeling of his body failing. Even after wearing one for 7 years, it still took me a year to accept the fact I needed the 2nd one. It’s a hard step to take.
I have hearing loss in both ears, dramatic in one (if the good ear is down, I would sleep through the phone ringing) and much less significant in the other, I am careful to be on the correct side of people & definitely do as much lip reading as I am able, love closed captioning, but the family hates it.
I simultaneously understand both perspectives, it is very tiring to focus and pay attention every minute just in case someone will make an offhand comment, but it is also quite annoying for the speaker when you don’t hear them. My mother is losing hearing quite significantly and she keeps going back in for rechecks, but they say that is the best she will do & we still speak quite loudly even when she has them on, but she wears TV headphones all day and does not wear the hearing aids with those, so often does not wear the hearing aids.
Poor DH grew up with a hard of hearing Dad who gets angry at you if he cannot hear you, so DH has already had a lifetime of dealing with this
I got a hearing aid 10+ years ago, I try to wear it for group things, but I hate it, I hate the way my ear canal hurts the way your head hurts after a pony tail has been in too long, the way my ear feels moist with it in, just the way I feel it there, like a heavy weight in my ear (I think I am a wee bit over-sensitive!)
I began wearing HA about 5-6 years ago. I have Oticon, they fit behind the ear and the piece that goes into the ear is very small.
somemom, are yours behind the ear?
What I love is my TV streamer as like yours, commama, they allow the sound to be set at a normal level.
The most difficult for me is when I do not know what subject is being introduced. H will have this long bit of information but I cannot fill in if I do not know what he is addressing. Saying, for example,
“the trees, do you think we should…” Instead of loads of information first.
Once I hear “trees” it goes fairly well.
I wonder if some of your with hearing loss parents would find they do better with a cue.
I know that sales people think I am rude as I do not answer them if I did not see/hear them speak.
Just last night the grocery store guy must have said something and then when he caught my eye he
repeated it but with a funny, “like hello…” attitude. I think about handing cards out that say I cannot hear them.
I do carrry a card next to my drivers license that explains that if it is dark, if I cannot see the face, etc. that I cannot respond properly. I can imagine the awfulness that would happen if an officer tried to talk to me in the dark.
All of this said, I do quite well day to day and H thinks I do better than he does in noisy situations
as I have tools to stay tuned in and often pick up more that others in a social situations. But it is physically exhausting if too many hours.
Somemom and Gypsie…you really need to try the ones that go behind the ear, and with open domes if you can get by with them…that is what i have. I can’t even tell they are in. They work wirelessly together…zeroing in on speech, the settings are awesome that they have. These are not your Grandmothers HA!! I call them my bionic ears. They have the ability to soften wind. Once I was on a boat and people with no hearing issues were having more problems than me. They aren’t cheap though. I have the Siemens and they cost me $5k and that was 2 years ago. They are cheaper at Costco…but i get superb customer service with my audiologist. It’s worth the extra money to me.
There is no need to struggle through hearing loss.
Have single sided deafness–100% hearing in one ear, 0% hearing in the other ear. Can be treated with a type of implant that , when it was invented, was incorrectly named a BAHA (bone-anchored hearing aid). Because hearing aid is in its name, health insurances will not pay for it, even though it involves a titanium post placed into the skull. Nothing at all like a battery operated device that sits in the ear.
My Oticon, not cheap, and now Costco is carrying the equivalant, has an up/down that I can control as I need to.
So while my HA’s do adjust on their own to the environment, I can rock the sound up or down as I need to.
Often in a restaurant I will initially rock down to get rid of the background noise, then after afew minutes rock back up as I have emotionally adjusted.
I bought a second pair after the first 4 year or so and wear the older ones when hiking. I am so afraid of losing these
$$ things that I even taped them to my ears a few times. With taking a hat and sunglasses off and on…
Well! it is so wonderful to hear the creek and birds, and H as we hike.
MSDad, keep checking your insurance. Mine just a year ago started paying for HA.
Our accountant will not let us take them off our taxes–she is super strict–but I know a dentist who does anyway and has never been questioned.
I think it is unfair that I cannot as my career is about hearing…
Recently I caught part of a Doctor Radio on satellite and they were discussing the newest reseach re: tinnitus.
There is reseach going on --Columbia U is one place–and they are finding that doing a cochlear implants are helping on different fronts.
They are finding that those of us with tinnitus and hearing lose can cancel the tinnitus and improve the hearing loss.
I am going to research this and get into a trail if possible.
My H just got hearing aids. He is finding them very comfortable.
One thing. Since H is still working when he went to the audiologist they encouraged him to apply for aid through the states rehabilitation services. It was a lot of paperwork and we had to disclose all of our financial information. H told the audiologist that we were not needy and he was assured that was ok. Anyways, rehabilitation services covered half of the cost. We are very grateful and it’s helped H a lot in dealing with people in his job.
86 year old mother has been wearing costco behind the ear for last three years, before that an inner canal version.
Turns out these are causing extra/ excessive ear wax buildup,and she now goes to ENT every 8 weeks for cleaning. It was amazing how her hearing improved immediately. ENT says it’s not uncommon.
Just developed tinnitus recently and will be having first appt with ENT next week. So I will be getting hearing test and finding out more information then. I miss peace and quiet in my head.
My MIL had tinnitus and hearing loss. It cut her off from other people a lot. She couldn’t use a phone very much which was a problem for keeping up with us overseas. In many ways she was happy as a solitary person, but it was hard to tell.
I have tinnitus which developed suddenly 36 hours after gall bladder surgery under general anesthesia. My internist got me in to see an ENT that day, and he’s suggested a number of things (various supplements), but none of them have worked. He believes that it was caused by reduced blood flow to the ears during the anesthesia. It’s not bad, and much of the time I’m not conscious of it (although it’s always there if I do think of it).
I don’t notice my tinnitus much unless I consciously think about it. Mostly at night. Sometimes I wish I could hear pure silence. I still remember that.
I miss pure silence, too, conmama. Ever since I lived in NYC for two years about 20 years ago, silence has actually been an active preference of mine - I like classical music, 60’s rock, silence.
