<p>Reading recent threads about parenting, as well a zillion other threads about packaging and positioning for admission to top schools, I thought of this thought experiment:</p>
<p>Let’s imagine that you have a bright 5th grader, and your goal is to shape him into the best possible applicant for the most selective colleges by the time he is ready to apply in his senior year. Assume that he has no innate hooks (i.e., is not a URM, not a legacy, and you are not super-rich). Let’s assume he’s healthy but not super-athletic, and that he’s good at everything but not a prodigy at any one thing. Let’s also assume that we will totally ignore his wishes and preferences, and will make him do the activities we choose.</p>
<p>What will you do to shape him into the ultimate applicant?</p>
<p>For example, would you (a) move to rural Idaho or (b) move to Fairfax County, Virginia?</p>
<p>Having moved around the US and lived in Fairfax with small children, that’s where I’d go.</p>
<p>As far as what else to do, find some off the norm activity outside of school. Junior Olympic Archery anyone? Are there national Pinochle championships? ;)</p>
<p>As an alternative thought experiment, what can the bright kid do over the years to resist the shaping effort? Or if he cooperates, in what ways can he crash either during or after his years at the very selective college?</p>
<p>I would be asking, How can I help him become a good person, one who is happy, generous, and productive? Not only will that make him the best possible elite-college candidate, but it will make it matter a lot less whether or not he gets in to any particular college.</p>
<p>You need to be a research scientist who takes her with you for months at a time to the research station on Antarctica, so that she is a co-author on 6 papers on the ozone hole, and is a Siemens finalist, by the time she is a junior.</p>
<p>somewhere to optimize the combo. Which in this case is not the corner solution, I think.</p>
<p>BTW, you do know that A. TJ is the only magnet HS in FFX county
B. You can go to TJ from several neighboring jurisdictions, including Prince William.</p>
<p>While I didn’t homeschool my kids, I thought about it a lot and was very taken with unschooling philosophy. To that end I let my kids pursue their interests. My older son did fine in a competitive county because I let him become an expert in what interested him. He didn’t need to be from Idaho, he didn’t need to go to a fancy magnet school. I think he has the makings of a good person though I wouldn’t say he’s as happy and generous and productive as he could be. My younger son also did remarkably well without being nearly as driven to be an expert in something. He’s also happier and more generous than his older brother. A lot of that is inner nature, IMO.</p>
<p>One of mine desperately needed the hothouse of the Greater Washington Educational/Industrial Complex. The other one blooms where he’s planted, though it helps a LOT if he has similarly-minded friends to grow with.</p>
<p>Both were extremely happy to have had the educational opportunities they’ve had and would prefer not to be the big fish in a smaller pond.</p>
<p>Agree with mathmom – some of this is nature despite nurture.</p>
<p>I am suggesting someplace A. where someone could stand out a LITTLE bit more than here in FFX county. and B. where the place is a less hot housing (though I suppose the OP conditions kind of rule out psychological factors)</p>
<p>I am thinking an urban magnet say, (like my alma mater, Stuyvesant HS in NYC) or a strong suburban HS in a less intense large metro, or medium metro. Or even a prep school, or a home schooling situation. </p>
<p>Look OP specified, if i read him right, a standard issue bright student, not a nerd with a love for some specialized area. I’m willing to bet that such a kid, well they might do okay at TJ, is NOT going to have an edge getting into the most selective schools where 3/4 of the TJ class applies. Unless they are EXCEPTIONALLY bright, they will have less than perfect grades at TJ, where they could have been 4.0 UW somewhere else. and if we are not talking TJ, you talking FCPS and dealing with its bureaucracy,and the crazy pressure that families go through here.</p>
<p>Well, if you want to “shape [someone] into the ultimate applicant” – stupid, horrible goal – getting him to be #1 at TJ, or Stuyvesant, or, say, Exeter, is probably pretty close. (Eton would probably also work fine.) Yeah, it’s tough to be # 1 at TJ, Stuyvesant, or Exeter, but it’s tough being the “ultimate applicant,” too. (I gather Brooklynborndad thinks Stuyvesant is somehow less competitive, especially near the top, than Thomas Jefferson. To which I say, “Huh?”)</p>
<p>That’s a big ambition, and you can’t (or shouldn’t) do it in a roundabout way. If you want to be the top basketball player, you don’t go to some junior college and try to shoot threes with your back to the basket. You go to UNC; you go to the NBA; you drive the lane.</p>
<p>I completely don’t get this fantasy people have that if they moved to the boonies, or to some less competitive school, their kids would shine brighter. Every high school in America has a “smartest kid”, and only a tiny fraction of them make it to elite colleges. The best, most competitive high schools send dozens of kids to elite colleges every year. If you really want your kid to shine, that’s where the shining happens.</p>
<p>To achieve this goal, move said child to an area which is an Ivy “feeder high school” be it prep, magnet or top public. (Google to figure out said schools) Make sure said child also evidences leadership in some extracurr area, and has near perfect SATs and SAT 2’s, and some exemplary research experience couldn’t hurt as well. Why not shoot for being an all american athlete in one or two sports on top of everything else…that should do it…make sure said child has the gene which requires only 4 hours of sleep per night.</p>
<p>There is no one way because there is no one goal.</p>
<p>The perfect applicants for CalTech, Swarthmore, and the U.S. Air Force Academy would be three very different people – yet all of these schools could be considered elite in their own ways.</p>
<p>Sorry, I have been so totally turned off the idea of “shaping” anyone by the thread about Amy Chua’s new book that I can’t contribute to this, although it is an interesting question in principle. But why would we assume that the child was so compliant that he could be “made” to do things? Who has such kids? Exert some influences, yes, but I don’t see how you can actually make a child do something, within the range of parenting techniques we used. </p>
<p>If the question is how to find a setting in which such a child would best flourish (and if the parent’s work constraints were no problem), I’d suggest looking for an area with a reasonably rigorous high school, where the teachers actually like bright kids. That can’t be taken for granted. Then, I think I’d encourage the child to build things of his own design–offer some construction toys while he is young, then robotics kits, spare parts to things, maybe even auto mechanics. Richard Feynman (yeah, I know, I bring him up a lot) did radio repair as a child. It was easier back then, because the tubes were large and their functions were clearer, but some analogous opportunities exist now. Also, give the child the opportunity for community involvement in some way that is meaningful to him–wherever his awareness alights on a need that could be addressed.</p>
<p>Gee whiz, a lot of you must be the kind of people who make up your own rules when you play Monopoly. Here are a few things that I think you might do if you really wanted to build the ultimate applicant:
Obviously, you need top grades and scores. You might have to avoid a magnet if your kid isn’t super-bright. I think I’d choose a small city with a decent school system, and then supplement at home. You’d also build in a long-term test prep program.
Pick unusual but impressive sports and activities for your kid. Something like archery, maybe, or fencing. Look for activities outside the school. They should be activities in which individual success (as opposed to team success) gets recognition.
Have your kid prepare for and enter numerous contests (essay contests, etc.).
Avoid activities in which large amounts of time may be spent with little personal gain. Thus, for example, I probably wouldn’t have this kid play the violin. I’d pick something more unusual (and easier to master) like the tuba, or string bass.
Have the kid do at least a token amount of community service.
Be on the lookout for any unusual talent that does appear, and then maximize the opportunities for individual recognition for that talent.
In the summer, look for programs that have competitive admissions. Top schools like kids who have been pre-screened. </p>
<p>As I look this over, it certainly seems cynical, but not so horrible, except perhaps for the long-term test prep, and the restriction of choice in activities. It certainly goes against the American grain of team activities.</p>
<p>^I disagree on the summer program. If we are playing the game I think it’s more (or at least as) valuable to do something unusual. A real job. Volunteer work where you do something notable to be able to make an essay out of it. The summer programs that are prestigious enough to make a difference (TASP, the one at MIT) only accomodate a few hundred students in the US.</p>