@middling. We are pretty much where you are. DS decided he wanted to go to BS at 9. I immediately said no for the same reasons—selfish ones. But he really wanted to go and worked so hard to be a good candidate. He’s now a junior at St Mark’s (great uplifting environment FYI). He will go to college the year DD will go to BS. Application season of BS and college combined. DH is really really struggling with this because he’s not ready to be an empty nester. We also eat every meal together, have evening family time, etc. every night DS FaceTimes us and for about 15 minutes we are all “together” again.
It is even worse with DD because we’ve had several years with just her in the house. DH has made a few comments about her staying and unfortunately, she’s felt a bit guilty about wanting to go.
I will say -other BS parents can chime in- when they go off to BS, the kids seem to appreciate and cherish family and home more. My DS does and it shows.
It is a very hard decision. It’s not the right one for every kid or every family. But…despite the difficulty and heartbreak it may cause us parents, the rewards when you see your child flourishing are priceless.
DD will apply this fall. A little piece of my heart will break, but I know I’m allowing her to make one of the best decisions she’ll make in life.
Good luck in your endeavor…I’ll be interested in hearing how it goes. And know you are not alone in your conflicted state!