<p>People will always manage. Kids go away to boarding schools thousands of miles away and they do survive. No one dies because mom and dad are not around to when a kid gets sick. We have seen many threads on CC about kids having emergency surgery while in school. </p>
<p>My nephew is going to a school in the NE and his family is in CA. He didn´t go home for Thanksgiving or midterm break. He was lucky that both of his grandparents were in the NE. But he did look a bit sad when I saw him over Thanksgiving at my parents house. It is something a student would need to be prepared for - possibility of not be home for holidays.</p>
<p>If there is a choice of going to a school closer vs going to a school far away, I would choose a school closer by. Of course, that option is not always available.</p>
<p>I understand OP’s mom’s concern. S1 is 6 hours away and has had a medical emergency this October where he had to stay in the hospital for a week. After the call, my husband was able to jump in the car and be with him. My family suggested that we “pull him” out of school in case of future emergencies, but my S decided to stay with our approval. We worry all the time, but it is his life and his decision. S2 is now looking at schools, some in our backyard some a 14 hour drive or 3-4 hour plane ride away. I worry, but again this is his choice. The OP has to do what he believes his best for him.</p>
<p>redbug119—we have been having the warmest winter on record this year…I hope your DD isn’t judging all of our winters like this. Us natives are still waiting for winter to show up :).</p>
<p>scansmom–that rail stop is NEAR the westbank, the new line will have stops right on campus. It’s still pretty easy, just getting easier with the new line.</p>
<p>Just a hint–Southwest is NOT the best airline to take to/from Minneapolis. Their flights are usually at or above others even with checking one bag on other flights. If you are not checking luggage, they tend to be the most expensive flights.</p>
<p>I think the OP should present his case to his parents calmly and rationally when the acceptances and aid packages arrive - proving how responsible he can be. He should also be thankful his parents want him relatively close - many people I know can’t wait to ship their children off to college. It sounds like flights to/from home are plentiful and accessible which is also great. My oldest is a freshman at a school 525 miles from home - no direct flights and the college is 1 hour from closest airport. I wish I could visit more or have him home more but we (really just me) make do with twice a week video chats. It really helps to actually see him rather than talk on the phone, e-mail or text. Offering something like that might make it more palatable to your parents. The idea of a health emergency is definitely a concern but as other posters have said, the colleges do have people who will help until your parents could get there. Good luck.</p>
<p>The health emergency is not just something that could happen to the student. I (mom) was was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer last year. It has been a great comfort to me that D is only 45 minutes away. I can’t easily come to see her anymore, or help her much physically, but she has her car now and she can come to see me every few weeks. Believe me, I never in a million years imagined that this would happen when she chose her college three years ago. I am SO glad she is not across the country. I couldn’t be dealing with all the logistics of that right now, especially since this has hit her really hard emotionally, and I’m sure she’d be feeling tremendously guilty if she were on the opposite coast and couldn’t see me regularly. Of course you can’t imagine these things will happen, and maybe you don’t want to imagine they could happen, but they do. She’s at a great school near home and she is going to graduate, and trust me, she is growing up and becoming independent very quickly due to circumstances.</p>
<p>We don’t limit the geography of college choices and our daughter is in Chicago and we’re in NY. The one thing we didn’t think of however was the time zone differences. When you’re winding down from your day you might want to speak to your parents with really good, exciting news or the opposite, really bad, unsettling news or you just want their opinion on something. Whatever the reason, the need often comes at the end of your day which is around 9-11PM. If you’re one time zone away it might be doable but if you’re 2 or 3 time zones away you’re now calling around 11PM or later and that’s a bit of a problem I think. Just something to consider that’s usually not thought about.</p>
<p>We are almost in the opposite situation here with our kids, trying to get them to look outside of their determined geographical area…but they have ample choices here too.</p>
<p>We are also in the opposite situation…our son wants to stay within 6 hours by car, and pretty much refuses to consider other schools that have great programs. He is an only child and is hesitant about leaving home. We have tried to explain that he may not care about being close to home after his first year…but does not matter.</p>
<p>There’s nothing wrong with attending college close to home, and there are many valid reasons for doing so. I just think that in the absence of significant health and/or financial constraints, the choice should ultimately be the student’s. Some rationales for limiting a student’s college choice on geographical grounds seem to privilege the parent’s need for contact and control over the student’s equally legitimate need to spread the wings or take advantage of an academic or professional opportunity.</p>
<p>I don’t see any issues with staying close to home-but close being no closer than about 2 hours either. The kids agree with that. I would PREFER that if they are going to be more than 4 hours away that they be near an airport because anything over 4 hours is difficult to drive in a day if you are doing a round trip. Our oldest was 4 hours away and that is my limit of driving round trip in one day. One school DD is looking at has a nice shuttle program and that would work very well (and was one of the selling points of the school too). That school is farther than 4 hours.</p>
<p>Ultimately, it IS their choice and I will be fine with whatever they choose.</p>
<p>“Whatever the reason, the need often comes at the end of your day which is around 9-11PM. If you’re one time zone away it might be doable but if you’re 2 or 3 time zones away you’re now calling around 11PM or later and that’s a bit of a problem I think. Just something to consider that’s usually not thought about”</p>
<p>We have the opposite situation here; the end of D’s day is sort of the middle of mine. After four years, she still seems a little miffed that I am “always at work”.</p>
<p>One of the things that I love about having D1 on the east coast while we’re on the west coast is that our schedules now align almost perfectly. We wake up early (5:30 to 6 am), by which time D1 is either up or in class. She’s always been the kind of person to want to talk about serious stuff at 11 PM or later…which is why I realized in high school that it would be helpful if she ended up going to college in the EST zone. Now if she calls late at night, we’re still up and willing to listen. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I felt utterly helpless when she came down with something that sounded like mono (and thankfully wasn’t). The comforting thing for us is that we’ve got several friends in the area of her school who would could serve as comforting parental presence as needed.</p>
<p>Pros and cons as a mom whose son is a 3 hour flight away (thanks, Southwest!). Pros: the school he wanted (and to us all that really counts in the end), and he’s happy. Cons: advance planning required for holidays, etc.; we can’t get there for events and he can’t pop in for a weekend home. As a mom I worried about having him so far away and keep schedule of all airlines that fly to his city just in case…we know no one there and trust that folks at the school will take care of him until we get there should something dire occur.<br>
Being far away has made our kiddo far more independent and that is all to the good. Not easily emotionally (mom) or logistically but worth it for the right school!</p>
<p>Cheaper air fares and long distance communication–relative to when we parents were the age of our college students–have really changed expectations. I went to our state flagship, a 6-8 hour drive from home or a one-hour flight. Cheapest flights home were $50 round trip, which was generally not in my budget. I didn’t come home for weekends or Thanksgiving break. No cell phones, no internet, long distance calls were still expensive, so most of my communication with home was via USPS. </p>
<p>D1, OTOH, emails and texts and we talk at least once a week. We flew her home for Thanksgiving because it was cheap to do with miles. We have far more insight into her current state of health and mind than my parents had into mine. Amusingly, my parents ended up loving the feeling of us being removed from their day-to-day oversight. But now with Skype and email and cell phones, they’re now in pretty much daily contact with all their progeny. Hmmm, and they worry more about us now… :)</p>
<p>One nice thing about US being in the Eastern time zone and DD’s college being in the Pacific time zone…whenever I needed to call the Bursars office (and yes…I did need to do that)…they were open when <em>I</em> got home from work.</p>
<p>I’m the first to go off to college, but I do have a younger sister who is in 10th grade right now. I have a feeling that my parents are expecting the tuition and all to be expensive, which makes me going there seem highly undesirable when adding on plane tickets.</p>
<p>And that’s actually a good point brought up about the study abroad…UD’s Honors program essentially allocates a semester where students are highly recommended to study abroad. I haven’t asked about whether they would be okay with me doing that, but if they say yes then it would definitely put a hole in the psychological comfort argument.</p>
<p>Our D is a plane ride away. She is very happy. Her school is perfect for her in so many ways, most notably her intended major. D is very independent and was eager to live on a coast. Logistics have been mentioned: they are a hassle and add expense to the whole college experience.
many of my friends visit their more local college kids from time to time to offer moral support, take the kid/roomies to dinner, watch a match or performance, or with bringing medicine, laundry, whatever. It is a blessing, often, to be close. If my D were unhappy or missing home it would kill me to be this far away.
I worry about the longer term issues: the student who stays closer to home might maintain more of his high school friends, find employment (summer and after grad) near his family/friends, and stay emotionally closer to parents and siblings. More food for thought. That being said, UofMN is awesome and the Twin Cities are fabulous.</p>
<p>We have ‘required’ our kids do do a study abroad. If it doesn’t work in their schedules it doesn’t work but we would really like them to have that experience. Several schools we have looked at don’t charge “extra” for study abroads-meaning that the tuition/room/board is the same if they stayed on campus. We would need to come up with airline tickets and spending money. It’s a good option to have I think. Plus, we could go visit them…</p>
Now if she calls late at night, we’re still up and willing to listen. </p>
:)</p>