<p>Allmusic, I’m with you. I can’t imagine moving for these reasons. We moved a couple of times through the years but kept our house in Toronto because we knew we’d be moving back, and we did, a few years ago. This time for good. We’ve spent much of our married lives here, and this is where our Ds spent most of their years growing up. We have a wide circle of longtime friends, neighbors, and community involvement. I don’t understand how people can give all that up to move to a new spot and start over, especially once thier children are grown, when it’s much more difficult to make new friends. The other issue is that the kids then have no true and familiar ‘homebase’ where they have their own connections. I think that’s kind of sad.</p>
<p>The costs of attending college have steadily risen over the past 10 years - definitely out-pacing the cost of living for many - a change of direction to pursue a college education was inevitable I think - some folks are getting pretty smart and suave about providing a college education for their kiddos. So I guess - I am not that surprised about this at all.</p>
<p>I am the younger child. I left for college on September 14, 1966. On September 19, 1966, my parents left the home I had lived in all my life (in NJ) and moved to an apartment in NYC. For me, it was absolutely traumatic – I genuinely felt as if I had no “home” during my college years. (I didn’t even know how to tell people where I was from – NJ? or NY?) </p>
<p>I remember coming “home” at Thanksgiving to an apartment in the City that I had never laid eyes on before. It was a two-bedroom, and my parents were using the second bedroom as their den/TV room. I remember, at 10:30 that night, having to ask them to leave so I could go to bed. </p>
<p>I was an hour and a half away from my home town, and we didn’t even own a car anymore, so going back was a major ordeal. I spent a lot of vacations camped out at the houses of my friends from my home town.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t do that to my children.</p>
<p>That said, my younger one is off to college this Fall, and H and I have been discussing where/when to sell our way-too-big-for-us-now house. With all the equity in the house, I’d love to move to something smaller and cheaper, to free up that $$$. Eventually, yes. But not five days after my kid leaves for school!!</p>
<p>NE mom: You should try living in upstate NY!!! They’re dropping like flies up here. At the rate we’re going nobody will be left here in a few years. 
People leave for jobs mostly. Some retire to Florida etc, but I don’t think anybody really cares about that. It’s the young people and families that are leaving a terrible void.</p>
<p>My parents also moved while I was in college, and I came back to some odd, strange room, that clearly wasn’t MY room, but a “spare” bedroom. </p>
<p>When kids are in college they really are still kids, and the comfort of their room, their things, etc. are still important. Plus, for many, seeing old friends in familiar surroundings is really important to their identity.</p>
<p>I just can’t imagine giving that up. I know this house will eventually be too big. I think it is too cold here, too expensive, etc. But it is home, and I can’t imagine living anywhere else (Hubby and I do fantasize about where we might spend a couple months annually in the winter though, but that won’t be until the kids are out of college, due to costs, I’d imagine).</p>
<p>But not five days after my kid leaves for school!!</p>
<p>I am surprised at how many people I know have done this.
For instance- one of my ds best friends- finished college- and spent several years in Azerbaijan- ( her sister is still in college in WA)-</p>
<p>Her parents had remodeled their house extensively when the kids were younger and it was really very nice- they had it just the way they wanted it.
However- when Ds friend finally came back to the states and D was having trouble connecting with her- I asked" well can’t you just call her parents? wouldn’t they know where she is?“- D replied " no, they moved to * Paris!*”
;)</p>
<p>A good friend of mine who moved from the Northeast to Florida over 15 years ago, recently had built (with her husband) a huge (5 bathrooms, 5000+ square feet) and luxurious brand new mansion near Orlando. It is beautifully decorated, has every conceivable amenity, and is totally furnished with new furniture. Both of her kids are out of college and on their own, far away and rarely home. I enjoyed visiting her recently (she was a wonderful hostess and I truly felt like I was living in a decorating magazine), but it is kind of hard to understand why someone would want to upgrade to something so huge with an empty nest. (She does have relatives from far away who visit for extended periods, but still…)</p>
<p>VeryHappy, did it turn out to be a good move for your parents?</p>
<p>Frankly, it made me feel as if they had been thinking for years, “Gawd, can’t wait till she’s out of the house!!”</p>
<p>Well, it was a “good move” in that it dramatically reduced – actually, virtually eliminated – my father’s long commute. But they only stayed there four or five years, and then my father retired and they moved to Rhode Island. I think my mother missed her friends from NJ very much.</p>
<p>VeryHappy, ok, was the move to Rhode Island a good move? Why did they move to Rhode Island?</p>
<p>We had vacationed there every summer for years, and my father had a fantasy of living there. I’d say that move was a very good move for them; they stayed there about 10 years or so. Then the weather started to get to them, my sister “settled” in Southern California, and they moved out there. (They both passed away in California.)</p>
<p>Boy. Your parents really liked to move. :)</p>
<p>Hmmmm – I don’t know about that. We lived in NJ while I was growing up for 17 years. Then they lived in NYC for four or five, then RI for 10, then California for – oh, my mother died six years after they moved there but my father lived another 13 years.</p>
<p>Does that seem like a lot? I think once you retire, or you’re getting ready to retire, you kind of “try out” a few different things.</p>
<p>My brother was in the military & while he could have stayed in one place for more than a few years- he always opted to move- ( for some reason also buying a house each place he lived) he lived in Texas- in Florida-in Germany ( where he got divorced since he wouldn’t keep still) in Colorado- then he retired from the service and moved to Indiana, and is now north of Seattle, although he is investigating how to get transfered out of state.
( he has either had the military or his employer pay for moving him- so he at least hasn’t had that to deal with)</p>
<p>We would like to move, staying in NJ but moving South near Cape May, because we love the area, and it is cheaper. However, we decided we’d stay here through S’s college career, for the reasons VH describes. If it’s a good move, it’s a good move four years later.</p>
<p>My S’s best friend’s parents moved to NC midway through Soph year in college. Now the young man goes home to a community of mostly retired folks, and knows no one. He was pretty shy to begin with, and just works and plays computer during his vacations. No one to talk to except the guys in the comp store he works in. S hasn’t seen him in a year and a half–we’ve invited him to stay with us in the summers, but his parents want him down there. He doesn’t have a car.</p>
<p>I understand their reasons for moving (including issues I won’t go into) but it’s still very hard on the young man.</p>
<p>We do so much for our kids. It eventually becomes time for the parents to do what’s right for them. I wouldn’t want to move when a kid was in high school. After that, even if the kid is going to feel bad…</p>
<p>It depends on ALL the circumstances. But I can definitely identify with Garland’s son’s best friend.</p>
<p>Well, I don’t think the parents should move just to torture the kid. ;)</p>
<p>Our youngest is a hs senior. She is going south for college and I wouldn’t be surprised if she ends up staying there. My husband and I can retire from our jobs in 4 years. We plan on moving south then. Probably to South Carolina. We’ll probably find jobs and work for 5 more years or so. But housing is so expensive in our area. We have looked at housing prices online. We can sell our house and buy at bigger,nicer one for at least 200,000 dollars less. Many of our friends are planning to do the same thing. I was raised in the south until I was 13. My husband was born in PA. Other than our two older children we have nothing to keep us in the area. We like warm weather. Why not move and save more for when we finally do retire for good? Hopefully our two older children might decide to move south also.</p>
<p>I agree with dstark! Parents have a right to live their lives too. Kids might not be happy about it, but, move along!</p>