Throwing my own little pity party (You've been warned!)

Parent Cafe
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<p>This is my pity party. I did not bring cake or party favors. You are free to berate me or call me a selfish, stupid jerk if you want. That’s your right–use it. Yes, I realize there are far worse things in the world and people who are far worse off then me–I’ve met them. I knew a girl who had cancer, lost most of her vision due to treatment, and then had her mother get cancer. I know that when I was a newborn, my parents made friends with another family who had a baby in the NICU and latter sent my parents a note saying that had not made it. I know there are people who have lost their parents, been raped, gone hungry–often all three combined. So, yeah, in the big picture, I know how relatively lucky I’ve been so far, and I’m grateful for that. But right now, I still feel like my heart is on the ground.</p>

<p>I want to go into healthcare, and always thought I could. Naivette, I suppose–I was a high achiever in high school, my college is all but paying me to be here. I guess I was actually stupid enough to believe I could be like be like everyone else. I set up time to shadow a podiatrist this summer and was ready to start contacting pharmacists as well. I mulled over the idea of OT and DO [doctor of osteopathy, same function as an MD] programs. I arranged my schedule to fit all the pre-reqs. I started doing biomedical research. I was an idiot. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me until now, but I decided to look up the technical standards for the professional schools. I can’t fulfill the DO, OT, and DPM programs’ standards outright and the pharmacy programs are questionable due to the CPR requirements. I can’t do CPR. I emailed some of schools and gotten back responses that range from negative to unsure [which probably means negative] to vaguely positive [ironically from a program, I turned down and shouldn’t have]. I think I could comply with the technical standards for PharmD, but I’m not totally sure, and the CPR requirement will automatically rule out some–if not all–schools. With competitive standards and that roadblock, the forecast is dim at best, though I still have a bit of hope. I don’t want to become solely a researcher; I wanted to be in the game, active, like I’ve always been…</p>

<p>I feel horrible, like my goals, plans, and dreams have been dashed to pieces. Even though I know logically why these standards exist, it still seems like an emotional slap across the face. It’s bad enough I had to give up Japanese, now this, too? Right now, I just feel like I should drop out and consign myself to a life of low and unemployment that disabled people are supposed to have. I don’t waste another 7.5k of my parent’s money on a useless degree; I’m unemployable enough as it is–even my business law professor says there’s nothing businesses hate more than the ADA. What was I thinking? Why did I delude myself like this? I need to learn to stop believing all that BS about being equal. I’m not equal–I’m unemployable, uneductable, and helpless. I give up…</p>

<p>[As an aside, I did read the article cur posted. My sincerest congratulations and best wishes to that woman. Her disability is different than mine, though–more functional limitations on my part, I suppose. But, anyway, my warmest wishes to her!].</p>

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<p>Well, I’m angry at the people who let you spend a year taking the wrong courses in preparation for programs that really aren’t right for you. But all you can do now is see where you can go from here.</p>

<p>When you are ready to move on (which may take some time, obviously), perhaps you may want to ask yourself what aspect or aspects of the health professions appealed to you the most. Why did you want to go down that path? Was it because of an interest in science? Or the appeal of helping people? Or something else?</p>

<p>If you can figure out what it is that attracted you to this group of careers, maybe people here can suggest other career paths that might have the same sort of appeal. There may also be some health-related careers that might still be available to you without limitations (medical social work, dietetics, speech therapy, and audiology are four that come to mind, but of course you now know that you would need to check the requirements in detail before making any kind of commitment). But on the other hand, if you can find a career that is attractive to you and doesn’t involve a lot of highly specific licensing requirements, life might be easier. </p>

<p>It might be a good idea to talk to both your university’s career counseling center and the university disabilities office to see what advice they can give you – even if you have to do it by e-mail and phone over the summer.</p>

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<p>Wolfpiper–I am sorry that you are feeling this way.</p>

<p>Are you able to talk with an advisor at your school (or a career counselor) and ask them about a course of study, taking into account your interests and abilities. </p>

<p>Perhaps there are some areas of study that you are unaware of in the medical field. Good luck.</p>

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<p>Maybe you should think of becoming a doctor. UCLA Med School just graduated a one arm, no leg candidate.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,275774,00.html[/url]”>http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,275774,00.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>wolfpiper, you have every reason to be upset and frustrated.</p>

<p>Give yourself some time to work it through – maybe indulge yourself this summer with something you enjoy – I wish I could at least take you out for an ice cream!</p>

<p>If you continue to turn it over in your mind, eventually a solution will suggest itself.</p>

<p>You have explored a certain set of options and found them unsuitable – continue searching…</p>

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<p>Any chance you could teach medicine?</p>

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<p>Well, I wouldn’t give up just yet. I just can’t imagine that you couldn’t be a pharmacist, for instance, because you can’t do CPR. How could the UCLA med graduate do CPR and she’s going to be a doctor!? I think you should pursue your dream and take the obstacles one at a time, not look at all of them at once. Sometimes requirements can be waived. Sometimes alternatives can be thought of. Sometimes nobody has ever considered your exact situation because it has not happened yet. You could be a trailblazer. And yeah the road is going to be tough at times. But one bump at a time, okay? You sound overwhelmed right now and tired, and it’s that time of year, so you are allowed to feel this way. But don’t take their “no’s” to heart just yet, and certainly don’t accept their “no responses.” Give yourself some time over the next days and weeks to let all of your research go. Think instead about what you really want to be doing 10 years from now. Picture your grown self doing it, in detail. Then set your mind on it and map out the next couple of steps, not all the steps, just the next couple. The closer you get to the dream, the more people are going to want to help you achieve it. You have no idea what exceptions might be made down the road, or what you abilities you might discover in yourself. Just keep walking it. Hang in there!</p>

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<p>Wolfpiper–you are entitled to your pity party, and I understand your feeling this way, but do decide when it’s over to go out and look at all the information, rather than reacting to what you know now. the article Cur posted should be a flag showing you that there are exceptions–find out how to be one, rather than assuming all doors are closed, just because some are.</p>

<p>Here is a list of disability-friendly med schools. I’m sure they exist for the other professions you are considering, too.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.ncsd.org/medschools.htm[/url]”>http://www.ncsd.org/medschools.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>My husband was admitted to an extremely prestigious pediatric cardiology residency, even though he is partially deaf, and hearing is crucial in cardiology. His ability to concentrate, borne of his hearing difficulty, more than made up for it.</p>

<p>Yes, there may be things you physically can’t do–find out what you can do; you have too much going for you to give up now based on partial information.</p>

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<p>I agree with the others. Take some time, and then think about all of your options: Would you be able to find a way to do one of the healthcare jobs you’ve considered? What are other healthcare jobs that you would be able to do that interest you? What about these jobs attract you, and what other careers have those same attributes?</p>

<p>You have three months this summer to think these things through. Give yourself a little time, and then get on top of it and look at all of your options.</p>

<p>Finally, I just wanted to encourage you to look at the short list of jobs Marian gave you closely. I’ve recommended speech pathology to you several times as a healthcare job that you should be able to do where you could work with children or adults, in a hospital or in private practice, on many different things. There are a number of jobs like that that you should look into.</p>

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<p>Wolfpiper, I feel for you, really. It hurts to have our dreams trampled, especially by things we have no control over. I hope you realize that people who make it against great odds often get many accolades not because they are handicapped, but because they had to work so hard to overcome the limitations life presented them with. It isn’t easy and there are no guarantees. I truly believe that if it’s in your heart, and you are prepared to do whatever it takes, you can be one of those people who makes it work. </p>

<p>On the other hand, I also believe that sometimes doors slam shut in our faces because we are supposed to go a different direction. Don’t look at it as a dead end, but try to see it as a corner you must turn.</p>

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<p>Wolfpiper, someone once told me when I was trying to do something very difficult “if the WHY TO is strong enough, just, and right, the HOW TO will come…you’ll find a way…” - they were right…</p>

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<p>Wolfpiper, it’s understandable that you’re hurting right now. I think that should seek advice from folks with real experience in health-care preparation about what options might be open to you. I suspect that there are many things in the arena of health care that you could pursue and that you would find really rewarding. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Thanks for the replies!</p>

<p>From a pod school’s technical standards (emphasis added):

</p>

<p>Med schools tend to be even stricter…</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I don’t know how the med school grad in Cur’s article learned CPR, but perhaps it’s possible with one arm… I know from experience it’s not possible for me; I know that from experience with aikido actually; I may be able to pin you to the ground, but I sure as hell can’t do chest compressions from the ground. I think a HUGE problem for me is that I have problems with both my legs and arms so even if I could work sitting down, my fine motor skills would still give me problems. I can’t meet thos requirements now matter how hard I work, just from a physical POV, not a psychological one. Those are required, unassisted things, and I just can’t do them. I guess it’s better for the patient that way…</p>

<p>

Can’t–and don’t want to be a SLP. I have a speech problem on top of everything else (God must have been in quite the mood the day I was born:rolls eyes:) and I loathe speech pathology. For a spot on (and very funny) essay that covers my views on speech pathology, see David Sedaris’ Me Talk Pretty One Day. It’s just not something I would ever want to do, no offense.</p>

<p>

[quote]
It isn’t easy and there are no guarantees. I truly believe that if it’s in your heart, and you are prepared to do whatever it takes, you can be one of those people who makes it work.[/quot]</p>

<p>Oh, I’m not one to not do. I’ve been skiing since I was five. I can throw you to ground and pin you there. I speak Japanese. But there’s one thing I’ve learned from all this: if the people at the top won’t let you start, you’re done. Find a way to get in the door, and you can do. But here’s the door’s shut, NOT because they’re bgeing discriminatory, but because these are things you need to do to do these jobs. So they shut that door–the problem only comes when ALL the doors shut–which, in this case, they largely have.</p>

<p>As an aside, I don’t get way people think life is so hard for disabled people. It’s not, really. I don’t consider my life to be much more of a`struggle than anyone else’s, it’s just the barriers PEOPLE put up that makes things hard, not life itself.</p>

<p>I am looking into other things. Medical social work might be interesting, as it still has patient contact the whatnot, but I guess I just want to “mourn” a bit. Sorry about that.</p>

<p>ETA:

Heh. Thanks. I’m at school now and really wish I were home. I could use a good IHOP dinner with my family right about now [Yes, IHOP is my version of fine dining.:)]</p>

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<p>Can you visualize yourself as a pharmacist? If so, don’t let ‘the rules’ stop you from finding a program which shares your vision.</p>

<p>Those ‘Rules’ were designed to keep you out of their classroom–should they desire to keep you out–or should you desire to sue them to force them to take you. Think of those rules as a good legal CYA–don’t think of them as a personal attack. Don’t assume the ‘rules’ were meant for you–don’t assume the adcom isn’t prepared to bend those rules for one very special student.</p>

<p>Lucky for you, you aren’t living in the PRC or any other Rule Loving country. You are living in the US, my dear, where rules are broken every day with great glee. Americans love to break rules to help individuals reach their goals. Haven’t you noticed?</p>

<p>Your challenge is to make yourself into the most phenomenal pharmacy candidate (a goal you are well on your way to achieving) and then to find one adcom committee which will bend the rules ever so slightly to allow you to bless their hallowed halls.</p>

<p>You do have the talent and 90% of the requisite skills. Believe that you will draw similar admiration from one or two adcom committees somewhere. You only need a few people to place the bet on you. Look how many CC parents believe you can do it–surely your desire will strike the adcom committees and they will find a way to bend the rules.</p>

<p>Don’t give up kiddo. You will have a lifetime of cajoling people to look past the rules, past the disabilities and into the possibilities but you can do it. You can go through the glass ceiling.</p>

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<p><a href=“http://www.nfb.org/Images/nfb/Publications/bm/bm04/bm0401/bm040106.htm[/url]”>http://www.nfb.org/Images/nfb/Publications/bm/bm04/bm0401/bm040106.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>“In the past, students with physical disabilities were rarely accepted to medical school, and they rarely completed it. But now Mr. Lawler joins a growing number of students with disabilities who are thriving in medical school. Though no statistics document how many of these students are attending medical school or how many disabled doctors are practicing, experts in the field note that laws like the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 allowed disabled students access to every level of education and helped propel the current increase in medical students…”</p>

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<p>You seem to be considering about every sort of health care school except medical school. Why not medical school? Some medical schools appear to be among the most tolerant and accomodating of disabilities, as shown by the link in post #15.</p>

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<p>I once had to meet with a genetics counselor. It had to do with advising me regarding the ultrasound results when my baby was in-utero. She did the whole thing from a seated position, and she had tremendous skill, medical knowledge and human sensitivity. I don’t know how this compares to other professions you were considering, but she surely held the power of life and death with her advice. The stakes were plenty high.</p>

<p>Which leads me to another medical area: neonatal or pediatric related. Those tiny bodies are small and light. You might be able to hold their entire body in one hand. Perhaps the training takes that into consideration. I’m trying to remember my CPR training, and there was certainly a different approach to babies. Maybe you lay them on your knee and work them with one hand? I can’t remember, but it’s a very different system than helping the adult. Same with heimleich maneuvers. Obviously I need a refresher course, but am offering this up as another avenue: pediatric, neonatals. </p>

<p>What does it take to become a Physician Assistant for a neonatal or pediatric doctor? If that’s what you want.</p>

<p>I also support the idea of looking into medical school if you can find some ease
in the expectations, as coureur suggested.</p>

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<p>I just remembered from the CPR with babies, you put two fingers on their chest to resuscitate, and breathe into them very gently, instead of that big double-handed thing with the forearm pressure done on the floor. It’s quite different.</p>

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<p>Regardless of one’s future specialty, all medical students need to fulfill the same graduation requirements. Think about the most appealing parts of health professions for you. If it is the science part, such as pathology, pharmacology, anatomy, physiology… consider a PhD. If it is the psychosocial aspect consider a social work or psychology doctorate. Of course, you could consider the MS level as well, unless the prestige factor of “Dr.” is part of your desire or you want the extra rigor. You definitely need to talk to counselors in your school’s advising/career and disability centers- between the two there should be some viable career options you could enjoy and do well in. Now that you’ve wisely unloaded here, move forward and evaluate your ABILITIES with the pros at your school. There are tests you can take to uncover fields you never thought might suit you. Good luck.</p>

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<p>Wolfpiper, I know it’s disappointing, but those physical requirements are in place to protect the patients. Helathcare fields ARE all about them, remember. Could you open an airway in an emergency? Move about with speed, muster enough strength from any position, to save a life? Working with patients really DOES require coordination of fine & gress motor skills. A patient’s life will depend on that ability.</p>

<p>You need to explore further. There will be a role for you in healthcare. Start with garland’s list & get over to a careeer counselor to pin it down.</p>