<p>I’m the de-clutterer, but then Husband digs the stuff out of the trash. When he’s not at home, I truly put garbage bags of stuff in my trunk for later disposal. (And he never misses a thing.)</p>
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I write this with the greatest respect and affection.</p>
<p>That is HILARIOUS!</p>
<p>I just signed up for “Let’s Dish” where you go in and put together several meals for your freezer. I do this periodically and it’s great.</p>
<p>“Doing it all?” Are you kidding? Delegate. Moms are absolutely necessary for bearing and breast-feeding (and even then, it turns out, there is surrogate motherhood a la Sarah Jessica Parker and baby formula). Everything else can be–and should be–shared with the other parent or delegated to others, including the kids themselves.</p>
<p>LOL at the proper way to load a dishwasher. Have something like that in our house too (and applies to many domestic approaches – I won on how to put the sheets on the bed [because I do it] hub wins on keeping the butter unrefrigerated – I stopped fighting it :-)].</p>
<p>starbright - I did not mean to imply you simply hire a fleet of help! I just have to calculate – if I’m doing a less-than-full-time, no-benefits job in my field (some pressure, but less than a serious, full-time employee) w/corresponding lesser salary – then after I take out the (super high) self-employment taxes and factor in the cost of travel, daycare – is it really going to be fiscally worthwhile if I also hire out for cleaning, dog-sittting, dry cleaning, lawncare, shopping (delivery) etc.?</p>
<p>It’s almost like – worth it to hire out if you’re making big bucks (you still net a decent rate for your hours at work!) if not, either work little enough hours to still handle the house stuff or don’t work. </p>
<p>Not working really not an option right now…trying to pay off bills, up contributions to savings, save for son’s grad school (if he wants it) etc.</p>
<p>Guess these are the questions all women have. And, I have to remember that millions of moms don’t have to options I do (possibility of higher paying work w/chance to hire out some, or stay home more & severely budget, etc.) so can view that as something to be grateful for. </p>
<p>Agree that delegating is key – I’m trying to do more of that w/my 7 year old. There are certain limits by age, but we haven’t even come close to that maximum on task-ability, yet (told her recently she should cook dinner one night a week! lol. She wants icecream & waffles.).</p>
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<p>Just for you, Zoosermom, the latest thing Husband dug out of the trash:</p>
<p>Before Son went off to college, he went through his underwear bin, which I don’t think had been gone though since before middle school. We filled a garbage bag with too small and worn out underwear. What did Husband dig out of the trash bag to keep? The dance belt Son wore in 8th grade…mind you, Husband weighs about 90 lbs more than Son did when he wore that dance belt and I don’t even want to think about what he thinks anyone will ever do with it…</p>
<p>Jolynne, don’t laugh about the waffles! My youngest can make a dinner for us of Eggos and frozen fruit (thawed ahead in fridge) with low fat whipped topping. We have it every few weeks - - I’m not complaining if I don’t have to cook!</p>
<p>Missypie, we JUST got rid of the diaper pail that ex-H insisted we keep in his work area (youngest is 14!). I did a little dance when he removed it from the house…</p>
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It’s sentimental, don’t you know. Men are such softies.</p>
<p>My DH collects lost treasures that he fantasizes he will one day use to create art pieces a la Joseph Cornell. We have a bird cage in the living room, interesting pieces of driftwood in the family room, old circuit boards in his study, and colored sand in the basement. And No, I am not allowed to throw any of it away.</p>
<p>I am also not allowed to throw away any magazines. Only my DH has that authority.</p>
<p>(I figure it’s a small price to pay for marital stability.)</p>
<p>But I do what missypie does: There are things I desperately want to get rid of, that I know DH has forgotten about but that I know that if I ask he’ll tell me not to throw out. So I don’t ask; I just bundle them up and make them disappear. So far there has been nothing he has missed. It’s out of sight, out of mind.</p>
<p>And apropos of this – I’m reading a book about hoarding, by a psychologist named Tolin. Very insightful.</p>
<p>I really really thought he’d miss those four old folding lawnchairs hanging on the wall in the garage…but they’ve been gone for about five years, and they haven’t been missed yet.</p>
<p>Gotta disappear the old video camera soon…you know the huge 1991 version? </p>
<p>Then there’s the box of pencils in the desk…the desk came from his grandpa so my guess is that the pencils are around 40 years old…about 100 of them…each about 4 inches, no eraser…who knows…they probably contain real lead…</p>
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<p>Yes, I always felt like I was filming for a network news show with that thing.</p>
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<p>Jolynne, same here. If I were full time, I would have the budget to hire out, but with 20 hours/week and in a staff position as opposed to full time in management (which I used to do),I can’t justify it. So I delegate,simplify and use a lot of lists. It does get easier after awhile.</p>
<p>“Gotta disappear the old video camera soon…you know the huge 1991 version?”</p>
<p>I think I’ll comb the garage again to see if the 16-mm camera is still there (not the original, the one H bought at a garage sale because he was nostalgic). That and the failed septic pump are on my “hit list” :D</p>
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<p>I just don’t know what they think they’ll ever do with the stuff. Will he use the septic pump for parts? If our video camera breaks, is my husband really going to drag out the jumbo 1991 version instead of buying a new one? Are we really ever going to decide to remove the pretty kitchen faucet and replace it with the cheap original one that the builder used? (Don’t get me started on the FOUR cheapo 1986 ceiling fans residing in the attic.)</p>
<p>Jolynne, we have a trick we have done since my 3 teens were little. I tell them what I think needs to be done, such as “We need to vacuum, put away laundry and pick up the downstairs.” Then I ask them how fast they think we can do it. They usually guess way low, like 5 minutes. We set the kitchen timer for 5 minutes, turn up the '70’s rock and roll, and we all race to finish. It is amazing how quickly we can clean the house. If it’s not done in 5, someone will yell “5 more” or “3 more”, and we keep racing.</p>
<p>My H has a mania for saving packing boxes “in case we move.” We have not moved in 18 years, and every time, we’ve had movers handle the whole job. The last time we used supermarket boxes and the like was when we were grad students-- about 40 years ago.
Our basement is now full of boxes. I got an estimate for clearing the basement and carting the rubbish away: $500.</p>
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<p>LOL! We have these wardrobe boxes…they’re collapsed, of course, but they still take up room and are always falling over on my side of the garage…and yes, they date from the 1986 move-in!</p>
<p>Hey, missypie, if they fall over onto “your” side of the garage, I think you’re allowed to do anything you want with them. ;)</p>
<p>So funny how there’s usually one spouse who is the ‘clearer’ and one who is the ‘saver.’ I definitely am the saver, but hub has converted me to a great, great extent during our marriage. </p>
<p>I will say I was sad that he threw away his stuffed bunny from childhood (the subject of many stories from his childhood) right before we got married. My 7 year old stuffed animal afficianado would have been in heaven to have “Daddy’s bunny.” </p>
<p>Otherwise, though, agree that clearing it out – much better than saving the detritus!</p>