I’m a rising sophomore at NYU CAS and I’m considering internally transferring into Stern. However, I’ve heard quite a few things about internally transferring (mainly how it’s impossible). I’m planning on studying finance, and if not study it, then work in the finance world once I graduate. A couple of months ago, my academic advisor told me that it’s not about what major you choose, but rather the experience you’ve gained (jobs, internships, etc.). On the other hand, a former high school teacher who worked as a stock broker for a decade told me “It’s not about what you know, it’s about who you know.” I’m starting to realize this is becoming more and more true as I progress in my college career. One small problem though: I’m an introvert. I hate small talk, but I’ll put up with it if I have to. I’ve never been formally taught how to “network” with people. How exactly does one network? I know it’s a silly question, but I don’t come from a family full of crazy connections. I had to work my butt off to get to where I am and I did it without any connections or assistance, but I know in the business world it’s not just about how hard you work, but also about the people you know.
On a side note, I feel that people especially favor extroverts. I remember in high school when college admissions officers came to speak, they always said something along the lines of, “We don’t just want students with book smarts who sit in the corner of their room studying every night, we want people with personality and charisma.” Isn’t this kind of harsh and unfair? Some people just aren’t naturally outgoing, so should we really penalize those people - who by the way, could turn out to be very brilliant and valuable if given the chance - for who they are? I don’t want anyone to misinterpret this as me bashing extroverts. If I were given the opportunity to choose what type of personality I would have, I feel that it’d be advantageous to be an extrovert.
So on to the real question: what are some of your tips on networking? It’d be really helpful if the answer was tailored for an introvert personality, but if not, that’s okay too. I just need some advice. Thank you!
Years ago I went to a parents and teachers conference in our district where one talk was on introversion and extroversion. Numbers reported were that 75% (or was it 80%?) of the population is extroverted while among the highly gifted the percentages were reversed. So, in this world you are a minority among people who generally are not aware everyone doesn’t think and like they naturally do. Yes, it is easiest to be one of a majority.
Different personality types often gravitate to different types of jobs. No problem for introverts who choose a field with mainly introverts- such as computer software development et al- as their coworkers operate the same way. The teacher giving this talk is an introvert and said that between her HS classes she would need her alone/downtime instead of joining the other teachers in their lounge to talk.
So- if you work in a field dominated by extroverts most interests you you will need to learn how to deal with the majority who likely is insensitive to your needs (I am an extrovert whose likeminded friends are mainly introverted- I had to find ways to meet my differing needs in college, and now with my introverted H and son). Business fields operate in a certain way and to be successful you need to be able to interact effectively. Your love of finance could make you excellent in it but you need to deal with people to build a client base or whatever (I’m obviously not in the world of business). For nonschmoozers it doesn’t come naturally to build the networks.
It sounds like you need to find a class or mentor who can teach you the art of making connections in your chosen business world. You likely will never be the person who works the room et al but your knowledge and skills in your field will make you successful.
I disagree. I’m an introvert and I can chat up a room full of people for hours at a time. The difference between me and my extroverted spouse is that he derives energy from it and I’m left feeling drained.
Silverstein is actually talking about two different things. Making small talk is a skill that can be learned. Being an introvert is an inborn trait.
You need to figure out how to network in a way that is comfortable for you.
So first you need to try to find an intenrship/summer job.
Go to your career placement office/co-op program and use their resources.
Ask them how to “network”.
Talk to a professor in your field and ask for advice on internships.
Once you get an internship then talk to your boss and other co-workers.
Ask them if you can get some coffee and talk about their background and how they got to where they are and what do they suggest for someone new to the industry.
I’m an introvert. My advice to you is to embrace the awkward. If you’re in the position of having to “work a room,” think of yourself as an interviewer and just ask people (non-personal) questions about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and at some point, you’re bound to find some similarity, no matter how small, and that can be the common thing you discuss.
FTR, introversion doesn’t mean lack of social skills. My husband is an extravert, and I can socialize much better than he can. I just want to be alone when I get home, whereas he wants the whole family to jump in the car and go to Home Depot or something!
And yes, people do like extroverts better as a rule. They don’t have to work as hard to get a conversation going, for one thing, and for another, people tend to like those most similar to themselves. This isn’t an insurmountable problem for you, however. You just have to be willing to make small talk until you can segue into something more substantial.
I am an introvert, my D and H are EXTREME extroverts. I had to learn how to network. Two things that you must do, get over the idea that the world is “unfair” and learn how to be genuinely interested in others. Introverts, like myself, tend to be self centered. Learn how to express your interest in others and learn how to tactfully ask questions about the lives and accomplishments of others without focusing on yourself. It’s not a social skill as much as a mindset that will get you out of the corner and into the room.
Internships & jobs are great for this b/c the focus is on the job: it’s not about you, and it’s not about them, it’s about the task at hand. As you master the roles that you take on through internships, you will build a vocabulary for working with your peers, which will build a working relationship- which is all you need.
Nobody is “formally taught” networking, but for people who don’t take it to it naturally, work on building in an internal flagging system to remind you to check and see ‘is there somebody I know who has a link to this’? LinkedIn, btw, is great for this- if you don’t naturally think of people you know in different places/roles, etc, checked your LinkedIn page (b/c you do have one, yes? and you have let it give you this list of everybody you know who is on LinkedIn, yes?). It may seem artificial, but it can help you get in the habit of thinking about who else you know that could be interested in/helpful to whatever you are doing/want to do.