To Add To My Nerves About Going Home...

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Hi parents :)</p>

<p>Today is the 1-year anniversary of the day my grandfather passed away. He was my first grandparent to pass away and although I was not especially close with him, we shared a birthday and I do have some good memories with him.</p>

<p>When he died, my grandmother decided she did not want a funeral.</p>

<p>Now, however, she has decided she wants to do a memorial for him.</p>

<p>Over Thanksgiving.</p>

<p>While I am glad she finally wants to give everyone closure, I also find myself extremely reluctant to participate when Thanksgiving is normally such a happy time around my house.</p>

<p>It’s not even all for me. My mother was extremely depressed for months after my grandpa died, and I don’t want to see that happen again.</p>

<p>Am I just being selfish? Do I need to get over myself?</p>

2

<p>As you’ve probably gathered from other threads here, family relations can be fraught with tension based on any number of different issues.</p>

<p>So no, your doubts about a memorial over Thanksgiving are not selfish.</p>

3

<p>Feelings are never selfish, grace, only actions. But you might be surprised that it goes better than you anticipate. Besides, this is one of those times where the purpose is to help someone other than yourself by supporting their wishes and needs. Just be there for your grandma and your mom. Your role is to be supportive and to represent the future for your family. If you hold up bravely and with a positive attitude, the older folks will be cheered, and their healing from the loss will be more complete. Good luck. The first Thanksgiving home is very special for all concerned.</p>

4

<p>Thank you both. It’s nice to know my fears are not completely unfounded.</p>

5

<p>It will be nice for all of you to have closure. Think of it as a special thanksgiving (not capitalized) for having him around :)</p>